Sportsmeat

When I was a sophomore in high school, the mighty Wyomissing Spartan soccer team was pretty decent. They made it into the state playoffs, and my friends and I traveled to some nondescript burg to watch them play on a frigid late fall Pennsylvania afternoon. The team was led by a senior midfielder named Joel Torcolini. He was extremely intense during games, with a temper that could really set him off. During the game, Rory Caherly, a freshman on the JV team, was working the whole sideline ball-tracker-downer job.

As the second half drew near a close, the Spartans found themselves down a goal and scrambling. Everyone was tense and pressing, and Torcolini had already gotten into a few scuffles with the opposing team. As the clock continued to wind down, the opposing team knocked a ball out of bounds on the sideline right in front of where I was sitting. Torcolini sprinted to the spot to take the throw-in. As he approached the spot, someone near the sideline passed the original ball to Torcolini, while Caherly simultaneously tossed an extra ball that he was carrying. Rather than just toss the second ball aside, you could see the anger flash over Torcolini's face. He caught the second ball, and punted it as hard as he possibly could away from the field. The only problem was that Caherly's face -- approximately 5 feet from Torcolini's foot -- got in the way. The sight of the ball rocketing off Joel's foot and into Rory's face (and consequently back into the field of play) is one that I won't soon forget. Nor will I forget the collective gasp from the crowd. It was truly shocking, and I felt rather bad that I was the only spectator that was overcome by a 5 minute long giggling fit as a result of the play. Once I saw the dual streams of blood gushing from Rory's nose, I stopped giggling. A bit.

Anyhow, that cherished memory ties nicely into this epic clip, brilliantly entitled, "35 Balls to the face in 32 seconds." Enjoy.

In a mere five days, football season will be over. That gives us an inexplicable five months until the NBA finals and over a month before pitchers and Molinas report to spring training (blatant rip-off of a NY Times headline), two months until the Masters and four months until the French Open.

How do we fill the void? College basketball. So I've been trying to catch up on what I've missed thus far and came up with the below as my early NCAA Tourney picks. Feel free to disagree:

Final 4
Florida, Kansas, North Carolina, UCLA

Sweet 16
Arizona, Butler, Creighton, Duke, Georgetown, Marquette, Memphis, Ohio State, Oklahoma State, Oregon, Texas, Wisconsin

Just Missed
Air Force, Kentucky, Pittsburgh, Southern Illinois, Texas A&M, VCU, Washington State

At last night's Knicks-Suns game, Pat Ewing was in the house, looking dapper in a Curtis Martin-esque newsboy cap, and the team's marketing wizards incorporated his visit in the nightly cellphone promotion, where people text their votes for a fan poll. The question: What was your favorite Patrick Ewing moment? The choices: Knicks winning the '85 draft lottery; the '94 run to the finals; and Ewing gets his jersey retired in 2003. Excuse me? Arguably the greatest player in franchise history, and two of his three most memorable moments didn't even come on the court? My Knicks fan-dom began late in Patrick's career, but even I remember more than that. This is a guy who was rookie of the year, who made game winning shots (and missed more than a few), who battled back from injuries a couple of times late in his career. Looking at his stats, you have to appreciate appreciate his consistency, missing a total of four games from 1987-88 through 92-93. He averaged over 20 pts and 10 rebounds in nine straight seasons.

So I pose the question to you, Sportsmeaters: What is your favorite Patrick Ewing moment?

And if you can't think of one, you can also respond with other favorites, such as your favorite Led Zeppelin album, your favorite type of pie, your favorite brand of bottled water, or your favorite smell.

For the record, my answers are:
The '99 Pacers series, when you got to see the whole range of Pat, carrying the Knicks in the first game, missing a game-winning attempt in the second, getting hurt, and cheering on the team from the bench as they continued on to the finals; Also, Led Zeppelin III, pumpkin, Tulpehocken, and that smell of rain on warm asphalt right when it starts to rain in the summer.

Remember that scene in White Men Can’t Jump where the guy needs money to cover a bet and robs a store around the corner where they immediately recognize him? Yeah, well it’s not just in the movies. Apparently, a guy in Alabama did roughly the same thing, only he robbed his own grandfather (allegedly) and slipped up by calling him “Pa-Paw.”

These types of stories pop up all the time, but January seems to be a banner month:
- A mother and son team who stole a boa constrictor from a pet store returned to the same store to buy a book about how to take care of … you guessed it … boa constrictors.
- Robbers on Long Island made off with a bunch of GPS devices from parked cars, but they didn’t unload the hot property fast enough. Police used the devices to establish the location of the suspects and arrested them.
- And following a robbery in Bed-Stuy, an armed assailant was caught in part because he left his cellphone at the scene.

And I'm not even including a certain weed-in-the-water-bottle incident that apparently never happened.

In the interest of full disclosure, I missed most of the Bears-Saints game, so most of my notes there are via highlights and articles, but I did catch the vast majority of the Pats-Colts game. With that in mind, here are my Championship Day notes Larry King-style:

-) I should probably start by congratulating Budds, who essentially wrapped up the Football Season Pride Point Challenge for 2006-07. He piggybacked his 4-0 Divisional weekend with the Meat’s only 2-0 Championship Sunday to give him a 14-point lead over the field, with only 15 points still up for grabs. Sadly, the Meat went a combined 3-15 this weekend, with Budds being the only person to pick the Bears.

-) For that, we can all thank Sean Payton, who inexplicably gave up on the ground game yesterday. Deuce McAllister ran the ball just six times against a defense that gave up 108 to Shaun Alexander last week. And really, the Saints could have stuck with the run until they were down 16-0, and then tried to re-establish it after they clawed within 16-14. Odd choice for a guy (Payton) who seemingly has pushed all the right buttons this year.

-) Tidbit I wish I had heard before I picked the Saints: Until yesterday, the coolest weather the Saints had played in this season was 52 degrees. Weather was definitely a factor yesterday—that was four turnovers, three fumbles, for the Saints and none for the Bears. It was unequivocally the difference in the game. On a related note, you would have won a lot of pride points betting that Rex Grossman would be the only QB not to throw an interception on Sunday.

-) As to the Pats-Colts, Tony Dungy should be feeling a lot more relief than Peyton Manning. If the Colts had lost yesterday, Manning certainly would not have been to blame. Yeah, he threw the pick to Asante Samuel (who would make a great Jet, by the way), but he played a great game otherwise. Dungy, meanwhile, looked like he had no game plan in the first half, and people would have begun to question why he always flops in big games (don’t forget, the Bucs won the Super Bowl the year after Gruden replaced Dungy).

All that said, Dungy seems like one of the really good guys in football, as does Lovie Smith. It’s nice to see them get their due, and an important step for the NFL that two black head coaches will be facing each other in the Super Bowl.

-) Speaking of, three stories you will be very sick of very soon:
1) Colts’ Offense vs. Bears’ Defense
2) Redemption for either Manning or Grossman
3) The friendship between Dungy and Smith

-) Budds said to me yesterday how impressive it would be if the Colts won the Super Bowl by topping the three best defenses in football in succession—Ravens, Pats, Bears—and I agreed. Then the Colts went out and laid 32 points on the Pats in the second half, which is more than New England had given up in a single game all year. That is VERY impressive stuff.

-) If I’m a Pats’ fan, I have some gripes about yesterday’s game. There was a missed pass interference call on the Colts in the end zone late in the game that cost the Pats four points, and that was a pretty lame roughing the passer penalty on the last drive. They really need to lighten up on the roughing the passer stuff. Some of the calls this season have been absurd.

-) Also, I thought it was interesting that, despite have two very good running backs and no good wide receivers (Caldwell killed Brady yesterday), Belichick still emptied the backfield and put the game in Brady’s hands in the fourth quarter. It shows how highly he thinks of Brady, and rightfully so. Now Scott Pioli has to get Brady some wideouts for next year.

The football pick 'em season is winding down, but the intensity gets a little boost this week, with five-pointers in each of the conference championship games ("negative pride" suspended, since there are only two games).

CHICAGO 2.5 New Orleans
INDIANAPOLIS 3 New England

E.J. takes the Saints and Colts; Big Thunder takes the Saints and Pats; and Budds takes the Bears and Colts.

When I was in middle school, my favorite teacher was an immature, somewhat crass, and absolutely hilarious English teacher (we’ll call him Mr. F) who referred to going to the bathroom, in the secondary variety, as “baking a cake.” Fortunately for Alexander Martinez, who like me recently celebrated his 30th birthday, when Kwame Brown threw a cake on him, outside a Hermosa Beach nightclub, it was an actual birthday cake, not a cake of Mr. F’s variety. But still, a cake? To paraphrase Charles Barkley, some guy throws a cake at me? It’s on. Of course, if that guy is 6’ 11” and he’s surrounded by other guys of similar stature, it’s off. Way off. And I’m taking my shirt off, grabbing a carton of milk, and making the most of a bad situation. But that’s just me.

And in a second item, also blatantly borrowed from Mike and Mike from this morning's drive in, name the four quarterbacks who have beaten another quarterback head-to-head three times in NFL playoff games (hint: all happened in the 80s and 90s).

In honor of his 30th birthday, today we revive the Sportsmeat Poetry Corner with an NFL Playoff Tribute to Budds, to the tune of "Happy Birthday to You":

Happy Birthday to Budds
LT is getting a ‘tude
Says that Belichick's an ass
And the Pats have no class

Happy Birthday to Budds
For Rex, football's like food
Everyone thinks he sucks
And his throws look like ducks

Happy Birthday to Budds
Peyton’s in a good mood
He may lose to the Pats
But we’ll laugh at his ads

Happy Birthday to Budds
Reggie’s bringing his crew
The Saints come marching in
To get New Orleans a win ...

And many scores!

Happy 30th

On an NFL weekend that was particularly unkind to teams with winged mascots, an Eagles fan, ironically, soared in the Pride Point challenge. I would, of course, trade my 4-0 week and 12 PPs to be able to wear my Jim McMahon Zubaz hat one more time and watch the Eagles play Chicago in the NFC Championship game. But these things are out of my hands.

Other successful pickers this week: Big Thunder, Maxipriest, and Snoop, each at 3-1. Joey D. admitted that he had made picks contrary to the rest of the group in an attempt to climb up the standings, but that backfired when he went 0-4 and became the second person in history to receive negative pride (-5 points is the penalty for hanging a goose-egg).

The fluff has been eliminated (and by fluff, I mean the Jets), eight teams remain and the Pride Point Picks are coming down to the wire. This week: The Divisional Playoff Matchups, all of which will be worth three points.

Without further adieu, here are the spreads (home teams in caps):

BALTIMORE 4 Indianapolis
NEW ORLEANS 4½ Philadelphia
CHICAGO 8½ Seattle
SAN DIEGO 4½ New England

BT takes the Colts, Saints, Seahawks and Patriots.
Budds chooses the Colts, Eagles, Seahawks and Patriots.
And EJ will go with the Colts, Saints, Bears and Chargers.

David Beckham is coming to the L.A. Galaxy, and the TV in the deli just told me they're going to pay him an A-Rod-esque $250 million for five years. Actually, it dwarfs A-Rod and every other American sports contract when you consider the context: This is a league where a few years ago the max salary was $300,000 (with fewer than a dozen exceptions) and the top team payroll was $2.75 million. Beckham is a great draw with some good soccer left in him, and he could encourage other aging international stars to join MLS and improve both the play and the profile of the league. If anyone in the world is worth $250 million to MLS, Beckham is that man.

But is anyone worth that kind of cash? Even if you think of the long-term health of the league, how could the Beckham experiment possibly be worth the cost? Better attendance, TV revenues, quality of play? Here, in my mind, is the best case scenario, from the MLS point of view: A half dozen other international stars follow Beckham's lead, and attendance picks up. More soccer-specific stadiums are built. The European clubs take notice, setting up deals to make the MLS teams serve as farm clubs (I don't follow much soccer, but I believe this is already happening). With an improved talent pool in MLS, the U.S. national team improves dramatically and makes a run to the World Cup quarters or semis. Attendance, TV contracts, and quality of play continue to improve to the point that MLS can actually afford salaries of more top talent. U.S. team keeps improving and wins World Cup. Baseball, struggling to recover from the steroid era and the competition from MLS, decides to legalize all performance enhancing drugs, like in the SNL sketch about the All-Steroid Olympics. Baseball players juice up to the point where they can't move their arms or legs and look like Macy's parade floats. Soccer becomes the national pastime in the summer months.

Not bloody likely. Thoughts?

I’ve tried to reserve judgment on the Hall of Fame voting because I was curious to see how it would pan out. For Mark McGwire, it did not go well. He ended up with 23.5 percent of the vote, enough to keep him on the ballot for 2008 but over 50 percent shy of what he needed for induction.

Now I ask you ’Meaters: Does McGwire deserve to be in the Hall of Fame?

Personally, I respect the opinion of those who say that they would vote for McGwire because there is nothing more than circumstantial evidence (his forearms, bottles of andro in his locker, etc.) that he took steroids. The same argument will be used for Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa and the rest of the suspected ’roid boys (luckily, Brady Anderson never again duplicated his 51-homer season, thus reducing his chances of receiving votes to the Hall of Fame. I say reduce, not eliminate, because Bobby Bonilla got two votes yesterday, which nearly caused my head to fly off my body). But I digress…

The other argument is that, even if they did take steroids, they didn’t break any MLB rules, thus they committed no crime and should be in the Hall of Fame.

I get these arguments, and I don’t care. I wouldn’t vote for McGwire, nor Bonds, nor anyone else I feel reliably certain took steroids. That doesn’t mean they were not great players in some right, and I know I could take a gazillion steroids and never hit a home run, but I feel like they somehow cheated the game. They turned a game steeped in the treatment of numerical records and turned it into a farce. That’s too much for me to swallow.

That said, that doesn’t mean I’m right. Thoughts from the peanut (or cracker jack) gallery?

E.J. is the champ-ion.
Of ’Meatbowl.

He was right in 26 of 32 games, including four of five BCS games, picking with the spread. And for this, E.J. earns 10 bonus points and the MD 20/20 of his choice. Congrats!

Final standings
30 (+10) – E.J.
24 – Snoop
23 – Dave Law, Y.A. Shoes
21 – Maxipriest
20 – Budds
19 – Big Thunder, Joey D.

The 'Meat playoff debut was better than Romo's, and not nearly as good as Addai's -- a Leon Washington sort of weekend. Seven of us were 2-2 against the spread, while Y.A. Shoes pulled a solid 3-1. Updates at left. Better luck next week.

This comes courtesy Thursday's NY Times:

AFC teams were 40-24 against NFC teams this season.
AFC playoff teams were 21-3 against the NFC.
NFC playoff teams were 10-14 against the AFC.
AFC playoff teams were 6-2 against NFC playoff teams.
Among AFC playoff teams, the Pats, Chargers and Chiefs all went 4-0 against the NFC.
Among NFC playoff teams, only the Cowboys (3-1) had a winning record against the AFC.

After a one-week hiatus, the Sportsmeat NFL Picks are back with a playoff edition. Each week the point totals for each game will increase, culminating in a Super Bowl worth 15 points if you correctly predict the winner, who will cover the spread and the over/under.

Wild-card weekend, however, will be a mere two points per game, and the point spreads look like this (home teams in caps):

INDIANAPOLIS 6½ Kansas City
SEATTLE 3 Dallas
NEW ENGLAND 9 NY Jets
PHILADELPHIA 6½ NY Giants

Budds takes the Colts, Cowboys, Jets and his beloved E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles
BT takes the Colts, Seahawks, Jets and his beloved New York Football Giants
EJ takes the Colts, Seahawks, his heartbreaking J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets and gives a very lukewarm vote for the Giants

Count me among the idiots who turned off the Fiesta Bowl and went to bed Monday night. The guy who wanted to be awake for the drive into work. The guy who flipped on ESPN News Tuesday morning and said, "Wait, they won? And they, what? How? How did that...!?"

My football career peaked at age 11 and ended two weeks later, so I don't claim to have any extraordinary knowledge of playbooks. But I've watched enough games to know that the hook-and-lateral/ladder (take your pick) rarely ends well, and the statue of liberty play hasn't worked since single-bar facemasks were in vogue. I know this because in my pee-wee days, our coach tried the latter in practice, with QB Jimmy handing off to RB Mikey, and even the second-team safety (guess who) sniffed it out.

I've read a bunch of stories about Boise State, but so far, I like my wife's synopsis best: "What do you expect? They painted their field blue. They've got balls."

I have no idea who’s going to win the Super Bowl. My gut says Ravens over Saints, but I can’t stand the Ravens, so let’s say Chargers-Saints instead. Of course, before trusting me you should perhaps review my picks from before the season , where I had the Panthers beating the Colts (my picks are simply awful but, in my defense, SI had the Dolphins and Panthers in the Super Bowl).

The wild-card round will likely get most of its attention for the coaching matchups, which include mentor-protégé games in New England (Belichick-Mangini) and Indianapolis (Dungy-Edwards), plus a game (Holmgren-Parcells) in which both coaches have taken two different teams to the Super Bowl. The most common thread among the eight wild-card coaches is the Jets. At one time, four of the eight have been the head coach of the Jets, though Belichick had a pretty short stay.

Colts-Chiefs
You have to think the Colts were the big loser after the AFC playoff meltdown of the Bengals and Broncos. A Broncos’ win and the Colts play the Jets, who would have struggled to expose the Colts’ horrifically bad run defense (which was the seventh-worst in NFL history this season). The Chiefs won’t have that problem, with Larry Johnson the main reason Kansas City is still playing. That said, the Colts should be able to score at will on a subpar Chiefs’ defense. Note: The Colts are 8-0 at home this year; the Chiefs are 3-5 on the road.

Patriots-Jets
I was thrilled the Jets didn’t have to play the Colts, who they don’t match up well against (especially at home in a dome), but the Patriots really aren’t much easier. Tom Brady and Bill Belichick quietly won six of seven to close the season and, to be honest, this Jets’ team has overachieved all season. The good news is that the Jets a) are on a roll and b) won in Foxborough earlier this year, so they know they can do it. In fact, the Pats were 5-3 at home this year, while the Jets were 6-2 on the road. Note: To show that QB rating is a worthless stat, Chad Pennington has the seventh-highest QB rating of all-time; Brady is eighth.

Eagles-Giants
The Giants couldn’t have done any less to make the playoffs, but here they are and in the watered-down NFC they are actually dangerous. This is a talented team in a league where the favorite (Bears) has no idea if its quarterback is any good. That said, the Eagles played as well as anyone down the stretch and beat the Giants just a few weeks ago. And the Eagles have the best offensive line in football. Note: Like the Jets-Pats, this is the third team these teams have faced each other this year, with each team winning on the road the first time around.

Seahawks-Cowboys
The Seahawks lost three of four to limp into the playoffs. The Cowboys last their last two, including to the Eagles with the division title on the line and to the Lions, which is just sad. Tony Romo no longer looks like a Pro Bowler (or even an NFL starter), but if they play up to their capabilities, the Cowboys are actually the better team here. Of course, the game is in Seattle, where the Seahawks traditionally play well (the Seahawks went 5-3 at home this year and 8-0 in 2005). Note: The Seahawks’ swoon this year can be attributed to injuries, and while Matt Hasselbeck and Shaun Alexander are healthy, Seattle has a lot of injuries to its receiving corps and secondary.

After a slow start, Y.A. Shoes has picked 16 of the last 18 bowl games correctly, moving into second place with 20 points. E.J., with 24 points, remains the leader, attempting to go wire-to-wire. And Dave Law is within striking distance with 8 possible points remaining.
On further review, due to common picks, no one has a chance to catch E.J. I realize this is a bit of a bummer and may take some of the juice out of the Cincy/Western Michigan game, but such is life. Congrats to E.J., champion of the inaugural Sportsmeat Bowl Season Pride Point Spectacular, and winner of a tasty bottle of MD 20/20. Points will be updated after the BCS title game.

Complete standings:

24 - E.J.
20 - Y.A. Shoes
19 - Dave Law
18 - Budds, Snoop
16 - B.T., Joey D.
15 - Maxipriest