Sportsmeat

In the interest of keeping all options open, we're posting the Mad Dogs early this week. NOTE: The Boise State game is a Wednesday nighter, on the SmurfTurf.

BOISE STATE 25½ Fresno State (Wed. night)
MICHIGAN 34 Ball State
IOWA 20 Northwestern
Ohio State 26½ ILLINOIS
Southern Cal 28½ STANFORD
AUBURN 31 Arkansas State
Hawaii 28 UTAH STATE
Texas Christian 20 UNLV
NOTRE DAME 28 North Carolina

E.J. and Big Thunder take Ball State, showing a lack of originality for the third consecutive week. Budds chooses North Carolina, for absolutely no good reason.

In the spirit of election season, I checked the week's pride point picks to see how our preferred candidates fared, and 'meaters, we've chosen wisely. Indy, New England, and Tennessee, all 'meater-preferred, won their games. New Orleans, favored by a 4-3 vote, lost. Three outta four ain't bad.

Dave Law collected 11 points on the week, Maxipriest and Snoop (in his debut) grabbed nine each, and Y.A. Shoes dropped the goose-egg from his row, winning three of four on Sunday.

Say what you will about the need for a playoff system in college football — or wait a couple of minutes and let Tommy Tuberville do it for you — but only two teams will play for the BCS championship this season. And at this point, two-thirds of the way through the season, the majority of the pretenders for the national title game has been eliminated. That leaves, by my count, 11 teams with a legitimate shot to play for the championship.

That does not include Boise State or Rutgers, both of which are undefeated. If either ran the table—which for Rutgers would mean wins over Louisville and West Virginia—they still wouldn’t climb into the Top 2. So, that considered, here’s a look at the teams that are left, what they have to do and what their chances are for playing in the final BCS game on Jan. 8 (current BCS rankings included for teams):

The Big 10: No. 1 Ohio State and No. 2 Michigan
This is the easiest equation to figure out. Ohio State and Michigan are 1-2 in every significant poll and are both undefeated. Assuming Michigan doesn’t slip up at Indiana, the Wolverines and Buckeyes will meet Nov. 18 with the Big 10 title and BCS title game berth on the line. Needless to say, it’s the biggest game of the season. The winner moves on to play in the finale, the loser is likely eliminated (it’s possible the loser could remain No. 2 if it falls in a very, very close game, but pollsters usually punish those who lose late).

The SEC: No. 4 Florida, No. 6 Auburn and No. 11 Tennessee
As has been well documented, the SEC is brutal. Clearly the best conference in the country. So if one of these three teams wins out and takes the SEC title game, they will have a strong case to be No. 2. At the moment Florida holds the inside track to the SEC East by virtue of its win over Tennessee (who plays LSU this weekend), but a loss at Florida State on Nov. 25 could wreck the Gators’ chances. Moreover, Auburn needs to win out (which means beating Alabama on Nov. 18) and have Arkansas lose twice to win the SEC West. The Razorbacks still have to play at South Carolina and face off against Tennessee and LSU, so expect that to happen.

If Auburn can beat Florida a second time, coupled with an earlier win over LSU, the Tigers will have a strong case. But don’t be fooled—as good as Auburn and Florida are, they’re both flawed teams and will have a tough time leapfrogging West Virginia in the rankings if the Mountaineers win out.

The Big East: No. 3 West Virginia and No. 5 Louisville
Thursday night’s game at Louisville will narrow the Big East title contenders down to one. Buoyed by its bowl win over Georgia this year, West Virginia has the higher profile but has yet to play a team that has even sniffed the rankings this year. That said, if the Mountaineers can beat Louisville, Pitt and Rutgers down the stretch, it’s hard to see them finishing out of the money for the BCS championship. Louisville, meantime, has a big win (31-7 over Miami, albeit a reeling Miami team) and has played a bit rougher non-conference schedule, but lacks the same level of national respect.

The Pac-10: No. 8 USC and No. 10 Cal
The Trojans have not looked great this season, but still only have one loss and can make up a lot of ground if they finish with wins over Oregon, Cal and Notre Dame (all at USC). If they win those three games, expect USC to be right in the BCS title game argument with the SEC champion and the West Virginia-Louisville winner. Cal, meantime, has a real chance. Their lone loss came in the first game and to a Tennessee team that has proven to be much stronger than originally estimated. If the Bears can win at USC, and the SEC teams knock each other off, they’ll have a shot, though the lack of a pedigree name will hurt them (see Louisville).

The Others: No. 7 Texas and No. 9 Notre Dame
Notre Dame’s 47-21 loss to Michigan probably killed its chances and, to be honest, the Irish’s schedule does not appear that daunting in retrospect (the only currently ranked team they’ve beaten is No. 20 Georgia Tech, and that was 14-10 in the first week of the season). A win over USC would go a long way toward boosting their chances, but there appear to be too many teams to climb over to get to No. 2. Texas, however, could have a shot. Games remain against Texas A&M and in the Big 12 title game, and victories there will go a long way. Still, it’s hard to see the Longhorns climbing over an undefeated West Virginia team, or a one-loss SEC champion or a one-loss USC. A lot of things will have to break right here.


The Prediction
This is a crapshoot. Very seldom does this many teams still have a shot at this point in the season, particularly with so many still to play each other (Michigan-Ohio State, Louisville-West Virginia, USC-Cal, USC-Notre Dame, and perhaps Auburn-Florida Take 2 or Auburn-Tennessee).

So the easiest way to go is to eliminate. Tennessee is gone this weekend with a home loss to LSU, and West Virginia knocks off Louisville on Thursday (though expect a very close game; the Cardinals defense is better than it’s been in quite some time). I have a gut feeling Cal is going to beat USC, and then the Trojans will take it out on Notre Dame. In the SEC title game, Auburn nips Florida again, while Texas wins out. Finally, in the big one, heavy favorite Ohio State beats Michigan 31-20, which would still be the Buckeyes closest game this year (right now it’s the 24-7 win at Texas).

That leaves Ohio State, West Virginia, Auburn, Texas and Cal, and they’ll finish in that order. Ohio State beats West Virginia in the title game, leaving Tuberville to launch into yet another tirade against the BCS.

Last night, the 'Nator and I checked out the grand opening party for Solid Threads, a store on First Street in Hoboken run by an old friend of the Sportsmeat radio show, El Gwiz, the man who called in to our first show to assess Shawn Kemp's "meat value." The store is great -- when in the Hobe, check it out -- and Gwiz also has a thriving web business at solidthreads.com. The grand opening was a mix of twentysomething-classy and college-holdover fare: brie and crackers next to a bowl of Devil Dogs, still in their wrappers, bottles of wine next to a cooler of Pabst Blue Ribbon cans. They had a two-man band in the back and even broke out cupcakes with T-shirts on them ("Look, they're little T-shirts"). Gwiz, well done and good luck.

This week's pride point challenges:

Mad Dog +20 possibilities (with Big Thunder Over-Unders)

Illinois vs. Wisconsin -21.5
o/u .5 - # of Wisconsin RBs in this game that Ernie Accorsi will have on his 2007 draft board higher than Adrian Peterson.

Northwestern vs. Michigan -31
o/u 379.5 - # of references made by announcers to either (i) the upcoming Michigan/Ohio State game or (ii) the fact that Michigan is now No. 2 in the BCS.

Buffalo vs. Boston College -35
o/u 14.5 - # of times in the past three weeks that Jarkowski has thought to himself, "Damn, if I went to BC, I could've walked on as a placekicker."

Florida International vs. Alabama -35.5
o/u 1.5 - # of holder beatdowns that take place in this game.

Minnesota vs. Ohio State -25
o/u 3.5 - # of athletes arrested in Ohio next Saturday night.

UNLV vs. Utah -20
o/u 48.5 - # of moral dilemmas that would have faced Utah players had this game been played at UNLV

UL Monroe vs. Arkansas -36.5
o/u 221.5 - total # of teeth of spectators at this game

Idaho vs. Hawaii -25.5
o/u .5 - # of jokes cracked by the 'meater or 'meatreader that picks this game involving "getting lei'd"

E.J. and Big Thunder, in the interest of making lei jokes, choose Idaho. Budds takes Minnesota because it reminds him of “Fargo.”


NFL pick ’em

DENVER vs. Indianapolis (+2.5)

New England vs. MINNESOTA (-2.5)

NEW ORLEANS vs. Baltimore (+2)

And in the race for Calvin Johnson:
TENNESSEE vs. Houston (+3)

E.J. takes the Colts, Patriots, Ravens and Texans.
Big Thunder takes the Colts, Pats, Saints and Titans.
Budds takes the Colts, Vikings, Ravens and Texans.

A quick look in the recycling bin of sports commentary

Frank Deford had a great piece on schools banning tag this morning. No, not TAG, the body spray (which incidentally was banned by some schools last year because it was irritating asthmatic students), but tag, the game, as in "you're it." Psychologists call it an "elimination game" like dodgeball, and say its bad for kids' psyche. Oh, don't get me started on dodgeball. What about spelling bees? They're elimination games, and those kids seem to be pretty well adjusted. OK, bad example. Wait, let's go back to the elimination concept: No one is eliminated in tag! The game goes on forever! That's the beauty of games like tag and running bases and butts-up. You go through your turn of being it, or on base, or the kid against the wall getting a tennis ball winged at his arse at full speed, and then you move back to the general pool of competitors. Let's protect kids from abusive parents and coaches, Internet predators, dingoes, radioactive snails, and college roommates who try to hog-tie them. And let's leave the recess yard alone.

One of my all-time favorite Steve Rushin columns was the one where he pointed out the many examples of sports figures (and writers) misusing the word "literally." So I decided to look for a few examples of my own. Surprisingly, not so easy to find.
From the Hartford Courant, previewing Rutgers-UConn:
What's happening right now is what has Rutgers football followers literally coming out of the woodwork. I was wondering where those holes in the crown molding came from.
From Newsday, on El Duque's injury woes:
Orlando Hernandez literally got the boot from his Game 1 start, the Division Series and quite possibly the remainder of the playoffs when he arrived yesterday at Shea Stadium. OK, so he was wearing an orthopedic boot. But I doubt it was literally provided by "his game 1 start," who everyone knows is tightwad when it comes to giving gifts. The same week, he gave Chien-Ming Wang a half-eaten Snickers bar and told him that it was "Fun Size."
From the Houston Chronicle, a quote by Deuce McAllister:
"Until you really visit [New Orleans] and spend some time here in the city, in this region, you really don't understand what this team means to the region. Literally, when you're born, you're born with that black and gold in your blood. It's a part of you." I've never been there, so I guess I'll take his word for it.

Snoop, a quick take on Kenny Rogers: I think LaRussa was simply sparing him the embarrassment of shoving a jalepeno up his nose. To quote the great Eddie Harris: "Crisco... Bardol...Vagisil. Any one of them will give you another two to three inches drop on your curve ball. Of course if the umps are watching me real close I'll rub a little jalapeño up my nose, get it runnin', and if I need to load the ball up I just...[sniff]...wipe my nose."

Wow. This blog has taken off in my absence, which goes to show you that I never really did anything on the radio show either, except talk a lot. Anyway, I'll try to keep this quick on my responses to the last two weeks:

-) Getting news on the NLCS from CNN International is pretty frustrating. Did you know there's a huge doping scandal in cricket? Probably not. I, however, know a ton about it but very little about the Mets-Cards. Still, there were some highlights and the USA Today International edition and the International Herald Tribune filled in the rest.

So here goes: I'm really not that disappointed. You wouldn't have been able to tell that by my initial reaction to the loss (a mix of groaning and f-bombs), but the Mets had a great season. Much better than I could have hoped for. And never in my wildest dreams would have expected them to do so well without Pedro and El Duque, and Trachsel pitching only one inning (though I have never been a Trachsel fan, as Big Thunder well knows). Not to mention earlier injuries that KO'd Victor Zambrano and Brian Bannister. That's a stupid amount of injury to starting pitching, and yet it wasn't the starting pitching that let them down. Go figure.

Quick questions: What the hell was wrong with Billy Wagner in the playoffs? He finished the regular season very strong, but was awful in the playoffs. You really can't blame Willie for leaving Heilman in for the ninth. Also, in the non-blame department, Mets fans need to lay off Beltran. He got frozen. Dude was looking fastball and got a nasty curve. It happens. I give a lot of credit to Wainwright, though -- that was a great sequence with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth of the NLCS. Too bad Isringhausen wasn't pitching.

And also, what happened to the Mets' hitters? Were they unlucky? Tentative? I can't believe they managed just 5 runs in four starts between Jeff Weaver and Jeff Suppan.

-) Honeymoon sporting notes (non-cricket related). Got to see the 1896 Olympic Stadium in Athens and the Colosseum in Rome, and flew Olympic Airlines (which craftily avoided copyright infringement by have a logo with six rings as opposed to five). That's about it.

-) I'm very sad about the Raiders' victory. I was really pulling for an 0-16 team. I always do, but last week really ruined things. That said, the Jets are 4-3. I'm shocked. I picked 5-11 for this season, so what do I know, but they look good. I mercifully missed the entire Jacksonville game, but other than that they've been competitive, and Leon Washington looks great. If they can get the run defense in order, they could threaten to go 9-7.

By the way, tough loss for the Eagles. A 62-yard field goal to win it is, to me, the most incredible finish I've seen since the Music City Miracle. Matt Bryant is not known for having a huge leg (as in kicking the ball far), and this wasn't indoors or in Mile High. Impressive stuff.

As someone near and dear to me learned when Starbucks stopped serving the Cinnamon Dolce Latte, all good things come to an end. So it goes with the Race to 0-16. But just like that sweet prized beverage, the race is seasonal and will return next year. Pray for Art Shell to keep his job.

Quick pride points recap: EJ's coin flip choices tied Dave Law for best in the NFL games, and three Mad Dogs -- New Mexico State, Temple, and Idaho -- covered, the latter giving salve to Thunder, who hung an O-fer on the board in the Sunday games. UPDATE: EJ also took Idaho; I forgot to check my e-mail before posting. Another five points for the Big Perm.

Sometimes work gets in the way of blogging (for shame!) as it did this week, so we're a little late in posting the Pride Point challenges. The Race to 0-16 continues, along with a few other interesting NFL games, and Mad Dogs galore take the field in college football. Choose wisely. Same rules/point values as the last two weeks. Again, the honeymooning EJ gets coin flips on the NFL games if he can't make it to a computer.

Mad Dog + 20s:
Away/Home/Spread
West Va. Uconn 22
Indiana Ohio St. 30.5
Ole Miss Arkansas 21
Tulane Auburn 32
UNLV BYU 28.5(BYU)
Temple N. Illinois 33.5
Wash. Cal 23
Stanford AZ St. 23
Boise St. Idaho 21
Hawaii NM St. 20(HI)
Fresno St. LSU 32.5

Big Thunder takes Idaho + 21 at Boise. Budds chose Temple, +33.5 at N. Illinois.

In the NFL, where they play ... for pay:
Away Home
Cardinals - 3.5 Oakland
Steelers -1.5 Falcons
Panthers +3.5 Bengals
Vikings +6.5 Seahawks

Big Thunder takes the Cardinals, Steelers, Bengals and Seahawks.
Budds takes the Cardinals, Falcons, Bengals and Vikings.

You'll always have Endy.

When SportsCenter counts down great catches or great saves or great playoff moments, you'll see Endy at the fence, leaping, reaching, flinging his wrist over and back, sno-cone of baseball just barely in his grasp. Of course, the obligitory line will follow -- "The Mets went on to lose the game and the series" -- but you'll remember how it seemed like destiny, how after that, it seemed that the Mets could not lose. Then you'll think of that same wall, an hour or so later, and the one that Endy couldn't reach. And you'll think of Heilman, and Wagner in the pen, and Floyd and Beltran watching curveballs settle into Molina's glove. Er, on second thought, don't cheer up, Mets fans. There is no joy in Mudville. At least Casey went down swinging.

I tried to post this as a comment to BBD's earlier post, but wasn't able to for some odd reason. I know that as the only Mets 'meater that is not on a honeymoon, it is my duty to keep up the Mets posts, but the Man is pummeling me right now. So here goes with some one hitters (in anticipation of OP's one hitter coming up tonight):

• I would have preferred Oliver to start tonight, but Perez is OK too. Just not Trachsel. Perez should have the shortest of short leashes, though.
• I was amazed at how lifeless the Mets were in game 5. They truly don't seem to care. So from that point of view, I think that Reyes is really a key. However, I think the bottom line is that Carlos & Carlos will lead the team to victory.
• 5 of the Mets 8 regulars are named Jose, Carlos, or Chavez. Steve Lyons would have a field day with this game.
• Let's make sure that tonight is at least a 4 run lead heading into the ninth inning. Maybe 5. Or 6. Let's just not keep it too close.
• Speaking of that, who does Taguchi have to service to get some playing time? What more must he do?
• Speaking of that, did you catch the phantom strike call by the home plate ump with 2 strikes during the Taguchi at bat? He was 3/4 of the way to calling a strike and ending the game. Then, Taguchi strokes a double (maybe if he stroked people more, he'd get playing time). If the Mets had lost that game, the ump would be in witness protection today.
• Suppan home ERA: 3.18. Suppan road ERA: 5.36.
• Everyone is making a huge deal out of Maine outpitching Carpenter. Newsflash: Maine's home ERA is more than a run less than Carpenter's road ERA. Yes, he's a rookie, but Maine is a considerably better than average pitcher. He's got what McCarver would call (over and over again) a "live fastball." Plus, in his game 2 loss, he really didn't get hit hard. He just gave up too many walks. This time, he stayed in the strike zone and performed well.
• In game 5, there was a situation (I may be remembering slightly wrong, but it was basically this) where Encarnacion was up with runners on first and second and no outs, tie game. They tried to bunt him and he fouled two off. I turned to the guy I was watching with and guaranteed him that Encarnacion would get a hit. Its just one of those playoff situations that always happens. Sure enough, it came true. Well, tonight, a similar situation might come up. The Mets are passing over Trachsel to start a guy who is 10 games under .500 on 3 days rest. You know Randolph will be willing to yank a pitcher at the first sign of trouble. Doesn't this seem like one of those games where, despite being passed over, Trachsel will be called upon at some point to pitch? Call me crazy, but its the classic playoff drama scenario. I hope it doesn't come true, b/c I think the Mets can and should just blow the Cards out of the water. But if it happens, you heard it here first. And if it doesn't, you didn't hear it anywhere.

Five reasons for non-Met fans to root for New York

Ronnie Belliard’s tongue – Pointy, creepy, and too often featured in close-ups. When this dude takes a lead, he looks like he’s auditioning for a Kiss cover band. If I never see that tongue again, it’ll be too soon.

Reyes-to-Valentin-to-Delgado – This may not be the famed Mets infield of 2000, but the double-play crew is fun to watch.

David Wright – When he’s on the screen, my wife is far less likely to stealthily flip back to The Biggest Loser. And if you’ve ever seen The Biggest Loser – a show in which the denouement involves people stepping on an enormous digital scale – you know that this is a good thing.

Yankee fans will suffer – Seeing the Mets in the World Series, for a Yankee fan, is like seeing your next-door neighbor pull into the driveway with new Porsche the week after the transmission on your Accord crapped out and you had to buy a monthly bus pass.

Tony LaRussa wears sunglasses at night – Unless there’s a medical condition I don’t know about or he was the songwriter behind the Corey Hart tune, this is unacceptable. EJ, before you chime in, I will say this: It is acceptable at night if you're in a bar. And the sunglasses are huge, aviator jobs. And you’re EJ.

In Pride Points action this weekend, Syracuse kicked a meaningless field goal with 3:14 remaining to cover the spread and propel Dave Law to a nine-point tally. The Thunderous One and Maxipriest took top honors in The Race to 0-16, picking three of four games correctly, and Foamdust and Y.A. Shoes hung O-fers on the board. Only Oakland survived with a winless record, confirming what we have all suspected: They are the last, best hope for an 0-16 season.

Alright folks, gather round. Wear your floppy berets and thick black horn-rimmed glasses. Smoke your cigarettes with one of them long cigarette holder things. Take a sharpie and draw in a little soul patch / flavor saver. Its time for Sportsmeat Poetry Corner!

My topic today is one that has inspired most of the great poets and songwriters through the generations - cortisone shots. When reading about one of the latest athletes that was jonesing for the sweet, sweet cortisone-juice, I was struck by the magical abilities of the drug. Its a treatment for everything. Runny nose? Cortisone. Broken leg? Cortisone. Herpes? Cortisone. But I ain't administering the shot.

So please be kind for the world premier of "Cortisone" by BT (sung to the tune of "Kodachrome" by Paul Simon):


When I think back to all the injuries I had in high school
Its a wonder I can walk at all
And though my lack of healthiness hasn’t hurt me none
Sometimes I still crash into the outfield wall

Cortisone!
You give me the nice reduced inflammation
You give me the speedy healing process
You make me think I can go out there and play, oh yeah
I’ve got a nice big needle
I like to take multiple injections
So doctor don’t take my cortisone away

If you took all the pains I had when I was younger
Brought them all together for one night
I know they’d never match my f*cking aching shoulder
Contrary to JJ Walker, its not dynomite


Cortisone!
You give me the nice reduced inflammation
You give me the speedy healing process
You make me think I can go out there and play, oh yeah
I’ve got a nice big needle
I like to take multiple injections
So doctor don’t take my cortisone away

Doctor don’t take my cortisone
Doctor don’t take my cortisone
Doctor don’t take my cortisone away...

(Please note that the above picture is of a person with a dirty looking arm getting a shot for Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, of all things. It truly is the wonder drug!)

*waiting for the finger-snapping to die down*

OK, a couple sports-related notes for Thursday:

• Just need to chime in a the Cory Lidle affair. Obviously just sad all around. This is the best article I've read on it - a well written piece by a writer that had made his acquaintance. And this is an interesting take from an aviation expert (granted, there's not much info out yet). And this is a 'person' who needs to eat a fat ... balogna sandwich. Johnny Cochran took the easy way out.
• Obviously disappointed by last night's rainout. I work down the hall from a Cards fan who cannot believe that La Russa is still letting Weaver pitch game 1. I say its the right move - the only replacement that he'd really want to move up is Carpenter, to give Carpenter the shot at 3 starts in the series. It would be theoretically possible to start Carpenter tonight, but that would have him 3 days rest, which could put them behind the 8 ball the whole series. Since Carpenter isn't the right choice, no reason to mess with Weaver's fragile mind and knock him off his game 1 start. They need some good innings from him sometime.
• As a sports fan who does the great majority of his fanning (fanatacizing?) from behind a desk, I click through a lot of "player pages," checking out stats and the like. Here are 2 of the better pics I've stumbeld across recently. Clinically insane Panthers center Justin Hartwig, and the weepy Mark Kotsay.
• Finally, be sure to make your picks in this week's Angry Puppies Challenge (below). If you're wondering why I picked Kentucky, well, wonder no more.
  

As a tribute to Steve Sommers, Jerry from Queens, Jerome from Manhattan, and all that is amusing about sports radio, the Mad Dog +20 pride point contest is, for this week only, the Angry Puppy challenge (in recognition of Sommers' nickname for Chris Russo). Anyway, the rules are the same: Pick a 20+ underdog in college football, if they cover, you get five pps, if they win you get 25.

EJ takes Florida International +28.5 at Miami (Fla).
Big Thunder takes Kentucky +26 at LSU.
Budds takes Baylor +29 at Texas.

Keep those comments coming, 'meat fans.

Mike Greenberg has taken to calling Jim Leyland a baseball Yoda -- old, wise, used to hang out in a swamp, smells like cigarettes. I think Casey Stengel is a better analogy, but maybe that's because for me, there is only one coaching Yoda: Pete Carril.

Beyond the obvious physical parallels, Carril fits the Yoda mold as one who dispenses the knowledge of a precious, protected gift -- the Princeton offense -- which, like the force, can make ordinary people do extraordinary things. Carril has tutored a group of young masters, including five current Division I head coaches. And like Yoda, he has a distinctive voice that has been frequently imitated, in most cases poorly. The Yoda-Carril thing has a long history, as google confirms, but it's too good to ignore -- and too perfect to shift to Jim Leyland.

The Race to 0-16 continues, with pride points on the line again -- two points per correct pick.

Cincinnati -6 TAMPA BAY
WASHINGTON -9½ Tennessee
DETROIT PK Buffalo
DENVER -16 Oakland

Big Thunder takes Tampa Bay, Tennessee, Detroit and Denver.
Budds takes Cincy, Tennessee, Buffalo and Oakland.

Last week, five loyal 'meaters participated and EJ won top honors with a 3-1 record. Budds was dead last at 0-4. With the Big Perm gallavanting around the Mediterranean, we have decided to flip four coins if we don't hear from him by Friday.
UPDATE: E.J. picks Cincy, Tennessee, Buffalo and Oakland ("Yes, I'm picking Buffalo just because I want the Lions to go 0-16").

Y.A., Pries, (Big Grille?) I know you're out there. Post picks and gain eternal fame on the pride points leaderboard.

Here at Sportsmeat, the Blog, we feel that originality is a trait that is grossly overrated. At least that's how I feel. Therefore, I thought I'd write a post that pretty much any idiot with a computer and a tv could write. The difference between me and the others? I'm your idiot with a computer and a tv.

So here is my recap of Sunday with Directv's Sunday Ticket (and a baseball playoff game to boot). Lots of channel surfing, hitting the best games. You'll note that there are some gaps in time - I actually had to do some work yesterday, so I took some timeouts. You really don't want to read about 10 straight hours of TV watching anyhow. Without more,

o 10:02 - We're starting out with the Giants and the Skins. Big Blue looking to get back on track against a Skins team that seems like they never should win, but they often do. Santana Moss should test the D. Let's see if the coaching staff put the week off to use.

o 10:10 - Giants need a little swagger. It looks like they are just worried that they won’t make it through the first quarter. They seem to be having Seattle flashbacks. They need to be aggressive.

o 10:15 - Beautiful run by Tiki, the kind that we saw regularly last year, and rarely this year. Tiki went for over 200 against the Skins in one of their games last year.

o 10:18 – And Feely caps off a lackluster drive with a missed field goal. Here we go.

o 10:20 – Hey, Joey Harrington is playing! At least I’m not a Dolphins fan. They have to be the most depressed fans in the league.

o 10:24 – Just got the highlight of Vince Young’s first touchdown. Nice run. I don’t think he expected to score, though, because he had not prepared a satisfactory TD dance.

o 10:27 – Poor Daryl Johnston. Stuck with a senile Dick Stockton and semi-retarded Tony Siragusa. Johnston is as good a color guy as anyone, even better than his ex-teammate Aikman.

o 10:29 – Sam Madison actually covers someone for the first time this year, and they still make a completion to Moss. ‘Course, Madison held Moss. God, Madison sucks. And Moss can really play. In other words, not a good matchup for the G-Men.

o 10:30 – Portis makes a nice run. I like him too. The Redskins just have a likeable team, with Moss and Portis, a guy who is slightly less exciting than your grandfather at QB, and everyone’s crazy cousin playing safety and spitting on people. OK, so maybe not totally likeable.

o 10:33 – Fred Smoot is wearing one long sleeve and one short in the Vikings game. Keeping the dream of FloJo alive.

o 10:35 – Man, I really like Drew Brees. The guy just consistently makes good decisions. Plus, he’s tough. I’d honestly take him over Eli right now (and that’s not to knock Eli – I think Brees is probably a top-5 QB).

o 10:38 – I’ve been meaning to say that I absolutely support the slew of Peyton Manning commercials. He’s consistently funny, with the famous “Cut that meat!” spot being the best. But the Gatorade one, with Peyton hatching out of a football in some sort of Under Armour outfit ... Don’t you think it would’ve been better to have someone like LT or Joey Porter? I mean, really? Peyton Manning in the rain?

o 10:41 – I have to admit that I’m not glued to the Giants game like I normally am. That Seattle game took a lot out of me... The season isn’t over, but that defense (and coaching staff) has a lot of changes to make.

o 10:43 – Don’t be fooled by one good game against the Lions. Brett Favre is done. He just made a horrible decision, 2nd and goal from the 8, throwing to a heavily covered receiver while Bubba Franks stood about 8 feet away from that receiver, wide open. Next play, Favre takes a sack. Ugly.

o 10:45 – I’ve always felt that the Cleveland Browns have the best unis in football, especially their home brown. I love the orange helmets as well. Apparently few agree with me, but I just want to make that proclamation. Worst unis? Not sure but I’d put the Patriots up there. Panthers too.

o 10:48 – How old is Corey Schlesinger? And is he actually the same person as Jim Kleinsasser or not? Is he just going from sideline to sideline, changing unis at every possession? No? Didn’t think so.

o 10:50 – One of the best plays in football is when a punt returner muffs the kick, scrambles to pick it up, and you just see 4 very mean, very large men bearing down on him. Always fun. The results this time were not favorable for Mewelde Moore. He’ll feel that in the morning.

o 10:52 – Good lord! Michael Strahan got a sack! I don’t know how to react. ‘Course, the Skins thought it was a good idea to block him with a TE, but still.

o 10:56 – Lance Briggs just picked off Losman with the Bears already up 13-0. The Bears just look fantastic lately, on both sides of the ball. The defense is every bit as good as last year. And it is a team defense – they have about 8 guys who make difference-making plays on a regular basis. Urlacher is just one of them. Atrocious throw by Losman, incidentally.

o 10:59 – Favre just nearly took a sack and then threw a jump ball that was luckily caught. He’s like a circus sideshow, and the fans still love him. Aaron Rodgers should be an experienced NFL starter by now.

o 11:12 – It should be noted that the Titans are beating the Colts 10-0. I’ve hardly watched any of this game. What is going on?

o 11:14 – On 3rd and 8, Siragusa declares “I’m reading pass.” Thanks, Goose. Nice catch by Toomer.

o 11:16 – Vince Young slings a nice 20 yd pass down field. Could it be???

o 11:18 – Just when the Giants make a couple nice plays in the 2:00 drill, Tiki lets it get ripped out. Could’ve been a real deflator, but the Giants recovered. That could be big – I think the Giants will score here.

o 11:23 – Skins actually playing the prevent defense the way its meant to be played, draining time from the clock. Nice job by them, as Tiki takes two dump off passes and a draw to get only 10 yards. Tiki is 17th all time in yards from scrimmage. That’s astounding. How long has he been a full time back??? As a Giants fan, I should probably know the answer to that.

o 11:25 – Brandon Jacobs actually makes a great blitz pickup, allowing Eli to hit Tim Carter for about 25 yards. For what its worth, the blitzing Mike Rumph just allows himself to be blocked by Jacobs standing in his way. Horrible effort on his part.

o 11:27 – Giants convert a FG. In this game, that could be big. 9-3.

o 11:29 – Would you buy a car because it comes with a guitar? What percentage of people even know how to play a guitar? 10%? Will people just buy the car and sell the guitar? I don’t get it. VW tried something similar with mountain bikes before – at least people know how to ride mountain bikes...

o 11:31 – 4 of the last 5 49ers – Raiders games have been decided by 6 points or less. This game will be no different, as neither team is able to score more than 6 points.

o 11:34 – Uh oh. Shannon Sharpe has been eating marbles again.

o 12:24 – An hour off to do work, and looky here, the Giants actually put a complete drive together. 70 yards, 8 minutes. Perfect. More importantly, their pass defense has been superb. Strahan even caused a sack for Robbins. Perhaps the team is back on track...

o 12:29 – Tennessee 13, Indy 7, into the fourth quarter. Titans ball. This will likely be the game to watch. Pats/Dolphins, Lions/Vikings and Saints/Bucs are also close. Good week of games.

o 12:33 – Packers game was just spotlighting Chad Clifton. He’s best known for taking a horrendously cheap shot from Warren Sapp in 2002. Good to see that since that point, Clifton has come back to perform consistently at an all-pro level, while Sapp is known for being fat, having a big mouth, and not making any plays.

o 12:39 – Big moment in the Bucs / Saints game. TB 1st and goal, Saints make something of a goal line stand, but Gradkowski hits Alex Smith for a TD. Tampa Bay is way more confident with Gradkowski than they were with Simms. Not even the same team. Bucs up 4. I picked them, right?

o 12:42 – Giants driving again. Under 5, pounding Jacobs a bit. Giant Football. They are easily the best team in the league. Chad Morton is dehydrated. He plays 8 snaps a game. How is he dehydrated? He has such a great reputation as a kick returner, but he never does anything. Let Tim Carter or Sinorice Moss return.

o 12:44 – Flipped to the Indy game just in time to see a Colts score. Bound to happen. Extra point gives them the lead. 5 minutes left, can Young mount a drive?

o 12:44 – Lots going on. Vikings inside the 10, down 1 with 4 minutes to go. Chester Taylor to the 1. I want to make a Whizzanator joke, but can’t come up with a good one. Goal line stand time. Lions stuff on 3rd down! Boss Bailey (a good player on a bad team) makes the stop. Vikings need to kick.

o 12:47 – Great return by Bobby Wade of the Titans! He almost falls over about 4 different yard lines before making into Indy territory. Titans only need about 15 yards. Let’s see what the Titans do. Young delivers the world’s easiest interception to Sanders (I think), but his own Colts teammate breaks it up. Horrible break for the Colts, as that was the game. Just an atrocious pass by Young.

o 12:50 – Packers score on a perfect throw by Favre to get back to 3 down. Favre hasn’t lost a step!

o 12:51 – Titans go nowhere and punt. Waste of a great kick return. This game is almost definitely over. Colts only need a first down or two.

o 12:54 – Last gasp for the Lions. 4th and 10, 1:47 left. Kitna makes the most ridiculously Kitna-esque throw play you’ve seen in a while. Almost sacked three times, he tries something of a backhanded throw to a Vikings defensive lineman. Game over. *shaking head* That’s so Kitna. (To be fair, it truly was a last gasp, and he had to try something. Kitna’s actually not that bad.)

o 12:56 – Buffalo cut the Bears lead to 33.

o 12:59 – Saints D makes a nice stop. They’ll have another chance to come back (down 4).

o 1:00 – Titans D makes a nice stand as well, and they will have another shot.

o 1:01 – Young just exudes confidence and calmness. That’s as important a trait as his athletic ability, in my opinion. Not enough, though. Colts win.

o 1:03 – Bush shows up! Reggie takes a punt to the house! Saints take the lead! I picked them, right? Actually, great blocking by the Saints. Any punt returner would have scored there. Horrible coverage.

o 1:05 – The NO/TB game is entertaining. Gradkowski steps up and makes a perfect throw to Galloway for big yards, and Galloway just drops it. Huge. Gradkowski steps up again and makes a nice throw to Hilliard for a first down. Wow, he looks completely comfortable. And very bald. Another good throw! 20 yards to Galloway! They are already in Saints territory. TB line playing great. Another completion for 7, called back for holding. Gradkowski looking great.

o 1:09 – JC Pearson just said that Gradkowski has “almost been too good.” I don’t know what that could possibly mean.

o 1:11 – A very large, very black Packers lineman is standing next to their little white kicker, and the lineman is throwing grass in the air, checking the wind. Something about that scene was very amusing.

o 1:12 – Packers driving into FG territory, which would tie it. Rams pass defense playing way too loose. This would be a bad loss for them. Inside the 20 now, and Favre looks so fired up that he could pick a pigeon out of mid-air and swallow it whole. Though I doubt that will actually happen.

o 1:13 – Wait a second, TO is returning for his first game back in Philly? Why didn’t someone at ESPN say something?

o 1:14 - 4th down for the Bucs and they go for it with 2:35 left. I think I would have punted there, and they don’t convert. I should be an NFL head coach. They are called “head coaches,” right? Not “managers?”

o 1:16 – Packers figuratively kick their fans in their collective groins when Favre holds the ball too long and fumbles. Recovered by Jerametrius Butler. For the purposes of this blog, his first name will forever be spelled Jerameatrius.

o 1:18 – The Saints game is the last one on. I’m hungry and hoping they wrap this up soon. There is a new hot dog shop a block away, and I can’t wait to check it out. Its called “What’s up Dog?” Bucs will get the ball back with 1:21 to go. Saints punt, Bucs receiver gets wrapped up and laterals to a teammate, BT yelps “Oh!!”, teammate gains 3 yards and is tackled. I was falsely excited. Saints win.

o 2:18 – Serious disappointment. What’s up Dog was closed. Whole Foods filled in semi-adequately. Oh well. What did I miss? Let’s see, the Eagles and Cowboys combined for 31 points, Matt Leinert had 2 first quarter TDs, the 9ers and Raiders are tripping all over each other, and Debbie is currently hiding EJ’s razors and taking the laces out of his shoes. And we’re back!

o 2:21 – Incidentally, LJ Smith needs to bring Ware down there. Inexcusable. Though he did make up for it somewhat.

o 2:29 – Holy crap! That was a legit running TD for Bledsoe. Hand it to him for taking the punishment there – he just flew right into 3 Eagles defenders. As much as I enjoy making fun of him, that was one tough run.

o 2:40 – I want the Padres to win tonight for two reasons. First, i want the Mets to have a big advantage in terms of rest time. Second, I want Joe Buck to cry.

o 2:47 – 49ers block a punt, getting the ball at the Raiders’ 10. There is at least a 20% chance they will score this drive.

o 2:49 – Poor Edgerrin James. You think that a team might want to get a line as good as the average junior college team before signing a star back? Jim Brown couldn’t run behind that line. Why do NFL executives not grasp that concept? Linemen and QBs, guys. Linemen and QBs.

o 2:53 – Jacksonville added a field goal. Debbie locked the door to the medicine cabinet.

o 3:29 – Now that is a good, old-fashioned bomb. McNabb to Hank Baskin, Baskin shakes off the tackle of Pat Watkins, and the final result is an 87 yard TD. Great play in an excellent game. I’m hoping that both teams lose.

o 3:31 – It is fleet week in SF, which means the Blue Angels are here. On the one hand, it is truly impressive how they fly together so close to each other. On the other hand, they are annoying and I’m not sure that many people are really entertained by them, and quite frankly, what happens when they accidentally clip each other and take out a neighborhood? I just hope they take out the Mission, and not SoMa.

o 3:33 – The greatness of the Raiders. Walter swings a pass out wide, dropped by Lamont Jordan. Only problem is it was backwards. Niners pick it up and waltz in. I love the Raiders. They really have a shot. 30-13 Niners. But the offensive coordinator can really make a continental breakfast. And he knows his way around a doily like no other.

o 3:43 – Matt Leinert hits Ty Law right on the numbers. Beautiful throw. Oh, wait, they aren’t teammates.

o 3:53 – 4th and inches at the Dallas 31 and they go for it! I can’t believe that. They don’t make it, but the refs give them a fortunate spot. Lucky. I would not have gone for it...

o 3:55 – Just flipped to the Chiefs game, and Larry Johnson appears to be dead on the ground. Not moving. He just ran an 80 yard screen which ended with one bad facemask. Ouch. Oooooh, he looked like the girl in the Exorcist. Or Poltergeist. Whichever one her head spins in. CBS is doing their trademark showing of concerned players while a teammate is down. It does look serious. He could have a very bad neck injury. Johnson just ain’t moving. Oh, good, there’s some leg movement. Now I don’t feel so bad about being flippant. LJ SUX!!1! He gets to his feet, and the first thing that happens is that Ty Law pats him on the helmet. “Thanks Ty, ever consider that my head might f*cking hurt?”

o 4:01 – Color guy on Andrew Walter: “You forget that he’s young, and you expect great things from him.” Um, I don’t forget that he’s young. And I expect nowhere near great things from him. But thanks.

o 4:04 – I have to say that I’m impressed with McNabb. He’s always been a good leader, a guy who does whatever it takes to get the job done. But in the last 2 or 3 years, he’s turned into a very good QB as well. He’s one of the most dangerous QBs with a normal 7 step drop.

o 4:06 – Touchdown, Eagles! A flea flicker. Simms to Morris back to ... er, McNabb to Westbrook back to McNabb, and deep to Reggie Brown. Classic NFC East trickery, I dare say the kind with which Parcells is intimately familiar. That just killed my fantasy team. Crap. Why did I praise McNabb?

o 4:12 – Call me crazy, but I feel like T.O. has a big play in him, and soon. Just throwing that out there. Well, he just caught a 25 yarder for a first down, but that’s not quite what I was talking about.

o 4:14 – They just showed a slo-mo of Andy Reid thinking about throwing the challenge flag. They shouldn’t show Reid in slo-mo for any reason whatsoever.

o 4:15 – BLEDSOED! TO had Lito Sheppard beat like a rented mule, and Drew Bledsoe threw a ball that made Cowboys fans long for the days of Chad Hutchinson. That was ugly. TO was wide open for the tying touchdown.

o 4:17 – Aikman and Buck have been just railing TO all day. Really shocking that Buck would take the preachy stance. Its enough to get me to actually root for TO. Buck is the definition of “smarmy.”

o 4:18 – Laveraneus Coles was a starting wide receiver for my fantasy team. I got 1 point from him. I’m considering breaking in to EJ’s medicine cabinet.

o 4:19 – Shut up, Buck, shut up! Shut the Buck up!

o 4:34 – Holy freaking moly! 4th and 18 and the Eagles (beneficiaries of the famous 4th and 26 play) let Terry Glenn run right by everyone. Inexcusable, and the Cowboys suddenly have life! First and goal at the six! Bledsoe has all day and still no one to throw to. Nice coverage by the Eagles secondary. 2nd down. BLEDSOED! That’s it. Sheppard is running it in as I type. Bledsoe rears his ugly head and gift wraps the game for Philly. Not sure what happened there. He had all day to throw, and just threw it right to Sheppard. Wow. I think Hank Baskett just kissed Sheppard. Dang, brotherly love, indeed.

o 4:43 – How in the world was Mike Ditka ever a pro coach? Aside from his failure to master the English language, he seems to have nothing more than a very basic knowledge of football. Right now he’s just mumbling quietly.

o 5:10 – Red Stripe #1. I’d normally wait until later, but McCarver’s on. McCarver just called Pujols “Prince Albert.” Do you really think that McCarver was intentionally referring to male genitalia piercing? Yeah, I do too.

o 5:50 – I’m getting a bumper sticker that says “I’d rather have you in a choke hold.” I love a good commercial.

o 5:54 – The Chargers just sh*t the hamper defending a screen play. You may have guessed that the Steelers’ receiver was Najeh Davenport.

o 5:55 – Madden: “You are not gonna run between the guards against the San Diego defense.” Next play, tailback dive up the middle, goes for 15 yards. Oops.

o 5:58 – I tend to think that blocking wide receivers are over-stressed by commentators, but Hines Ward just owned a defensive back on Willie Parker’s TD run. He made Antonio Cromartie his beyotch.

o 7:02 – OK, next time you get the chance to do so, watch Pujols run. It is very weird. He runs with his arms fully extended, swinging down by his sides, rather than with his elbows bent, pumping up in front of him. I might even describe it as “running like a girl.” Very weird.

o 7:35 – Last chance for the Pads. First and Third, no outs. Josh Bard up, Piazza on deck. McCarver face down in Brenneman’s lap. Johnson whiffs Bard. Piazza up, and I’m definitely rooting for him. What a great player. LaRussa brings in the righty.

o 7:39 – Roethlisberger just plain fumbled, and the refs called him down. I’m sorry, he was in the course of being sacked, but its a fumble. I hate that call. It should be Charger ball.

o 7:41 – Back to Piazza. He stays in to face the righty. GIDP. Ouch. Well, the Mets look to have their matchup. Bring on Jeff Weaver.

o 8:02 – What a difference a week makes. Last week, SD took the air out of the ball, letting Rivers throw just 22 times. Tonight, he has thrown 36 times with 9 minutes left in the game. 5 receivers have caught at least 2 balls. Impressive.

o 8:05 – Terrence Kiel is as smooth as cough syrup.

And that'll do it. The Chargers held on for a big win, and I held on to 3 or 4 more Red Stripes before hitting the showers and calling it a day. All in all a big day in sports. I really don't know how to end this. Um ... The End. There.

Weekend recap of pride points:

The good news is that EJ, in addition to pulling the double of becoming a husband and an uncle in a one-hour span, led all pickers with 3-for-4 on the NFL games.

The better news is that all of the winless teams lost, ensuring another exciting week in The Race to 0-16.

The best news? My Utah State Aggies, 27-point dogs against Fresno State, pulled the upset, giving me enough pride points to cover up the fact that I was 0-for-4 in the NFL games.

Oh, and the Yankees lost. Badly.

Dear EJ and BBDLPFFTAG,

I intend to be a contributor to this blog. Really, I do. And I have so much to say! There's a lot going on out there in the wild wide world of sports. But for now, The Man (and Justice - that blind beyotch) is keeping me down. So let me just throw out a quick few thoughts, as a way to retain my position as "Meater #3" in the dramatic masterpiece that is Sportsmeat, the Blog.

• I really can't get that in to college football. Is there something wrong with me? Its probably just because I didn't go to a school with a football team (at least I don't think they had one). But either way, I don't watch almost any game unless it is a matchup of top 10 teams. I'd watch the worst NFL game over most of the best college games. I'm not here to say that others shouldn't be watching it. I'm here to ask what is wrong with me?
• Toriiii Hunter cannot dive for that ball in that situation. He just can't.
• Yanks in 4.
• One of the key matchups in determining who represents the National League in the World Series is Jeff Weaver vs. John Maine. No, seriously.
• I'm really beginning to despise the Sports Guy. I mean, I respect that he essentially created a niche of journalism, and I read him religiously back in his AOL days (he practically got me through the first year of law school). Maybe he just has a shelf life and he's run his course. But so many of his columns really turn me off. All that said, I keep reading, and his latest contains a point that I yelled at my tv last Sunday - "how can you run a halfback option pass for a game-tying two-point conversion and keep your job?" Seriously, Nick Saban is as respected as almost any coach in the NFL, and that was easily the worst coaching decision of the year (and that is saying something).
• Finally, no post of mine would be complete without some Raider bashing (I really think they have a shot at a perfect season). So here goes: Lamont Jordan had 70 catches last year. This year, he's on pace for 11. I'm starting to think that maybe the Raiders' offensive coordinator doesn't know what he's doing.

Best Regards,

BT

Sunday's pride point challenge:
Pick the games involving current winless teams in the NFL.

Home Away
Indy -18.5 Titans
Vikings -6.5 Lions
Saints -6 Bucs
49ers -3.5 Raiders

E.J. picks the Titans, Lions, Bucs and 49ers: "The last pick is mostly because I want someone to go 0-16, and I figure the Raiders are the best shot. And I do like my Randy Moss imploding stories."
Big Thunder picks Tennessee, Detroit, Saints and 49ers: Note - In the Tampa game, he is violating his tried-and-true rule of always taking a winless team on the road with its QB making his first pro start.
Budds picks Indy, Lions, Saints and Raiders: "Raiders were a late change coin flipper. I was feeling sorry for them and asked myself if it was worth risking pp's to give them some charity. Mr. Lincoln said yes."

Two points per correct response. Again, are all welcome to participate; just post a comment. I've reset the comment board to allow non-members to post.

In the first Sportsmeat "pride points" wager of the college football season, we're each picking a 20-point (or more) underdog from this Saturday's lineup of games. If your dog covers, that's five pride points to the tally. If your dog wins, make it 25. No purchase necessary, but if your dog gets kicked, it will be noted in a future blog posting. And your pride may be injured. Consider yourselves warned. The picks:

Big Thunder - Washington +20.5 at USC
E.J. - Northwestern +20.5 at Wisconsin
Budds - Utah State +27 vs. Fresno State

Other picks from our faithful readers are welcome (put them in a comment before game time Sat.). Points will be tallied in Sportsmeat standings from now until forever, or until I get tired of updating them.

Apologies to the Mets fans, but after my third consecutive ham-and-swiss-on-wheat this week, I started to daydream about some of the more memorable sandwiches I’ve eaten in my life. Listed below, for your enjoyment, are my top five.

5. BLT on Challah, Black Sheep Luncheonette, New York, N.Y.
I don’t even know if this place is still in business, but you have to appreciate a chef who has the beans to put bacon on challah. The bread is sliced about an inch thick, and the mayo has some sort of herb-age going on. Simple but delicious.

4. Meatball Parm, O.I.P., Lewisburg, Pa.
Look, they’re little footballs! The warm, oval bread makes the sandwich at O.I.P.’s. The bread makes everything. You could sit there dipping bread in sauce all day without ever getting your dinner and still leave happy. Oh, and they slice up the meatballs – nice touch.

3. Ham Sloppy Joe, Towne Deli, Summit, N.J.
Three slices of rye, lots of ham, lots of Swiss, lots of Russian dressing, lots of cole slaw… it’s like a summit of world leading ingredients. The Towne D (not to be confused with Lewisburg’s Towne T) makes quite possibly the best Jersey-style Joe. A certain Oldwicker might disagree.

2. Chicken Cutlet Sub, Tony Luke’s, Philadelphia, Pa.
The seven minutes that you spend waiting for your sandwich at Tony Luke’s seem to take even longer than the hour or so you spend in line waiting to order. But the prize – warm, breaded, well-seasoned thin slabs of chicken on a crusty sub roll with lettuce, tomato, and mayo – is worth the wait.

1. Vito’s Sub, Vito’s Deli, Hoboken, N.J.
I like my Vito’s with roasted peppers. You don’t have to get roasted peppers. That’s just something I like to do. Vito’s, like all good delis, is a model of inefficiency. Even though they know tons of people are going to order the Vito’s, they wouldn’t even think of pre-slicing meat. Each sub is made to order, each meat returned to the fridge between customers, even if it’s only going to sit there for three seconds.

Is this a joke? Seriously? El Duque is out for the first round, too??!!

The basic facts of this are that the Mets were relying on two aging pitchers and aging players get hurt. It happens. It just doesn't usually happen when both are slated to start Game 1 of the NLDS (obviously not at the same time), and within one week of the team's first postseason in five years.

I know Mets fans are notoriously pessimistic (read my earlier posts for that), but they're seriously screwed now. No team in the playoffs could survive without two of their three best starters (and let's not forget that the Mets' No. 2 reliever, Duaner Sanchez, is also down for the season). You could reasonably argue that the Mets are without three of their five best pitchers, with only Glavine and Billy Wagner remaining.

Can you imagine the Twins without Santana and Silva? The Yanks without Wang and Johnson? The A's without Zito and Dan Haren? Hell, even the Padres without Peavy and Chris Young?

The funny thing is, the Mets can still win (and yes, I know I said they were screwed a few paragraphs ago, but I'm having a few peaks-and-valleys moments here). Maine has pitched well this year and Glavine is solid. Trachsel sucks, but he can go six innings and allow four runs, which would give the Mets a chance. And Oliver Perez (really, it's come to this!!!!) is as likely to throw a shutout as he is to hit the first three batters he faces.

If everything breaks right, the Mets can beat the Dodgers. And maybe even the Cardinals or Padres. But they're underdogs in both series now, and to win three series in a row without Pedro and Duque is about as likely as me and Big Thunder winning the doubles luge at the 2010 Winter Games.

The 2006 season is over, well, at least the regular season and the season of Pedro Martinez, so let's get to the Meaters' award picks (Big Thunder -- chime in when you return from vacation):

NL MVP
EJ: Ryan Howard, Phillies
I thought this would be an easy call until I looked at the numbers. Head-to-head, Albert Pujols leads Ryan Howard in batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage and doubles, and had he not missed three weeks at midseason, his numbers in home runs and RBI would be comparable. That said, he still wouldn’t have Howard’s impact. While the Cardinals fell apart down the stretch, the Phils surged largely behind Howard’s brilliant second half. Oh, and it’s hard to overlook 58 home runs and 149 RBI.

Buddha: Ryan Howard, Phillies
My best friend growing up took tae kwon do, and his instructor was a golfer as well as a master of the martial arts. The secret to golf, in Master Kim's words: "All twisting power." Secret to Ryan Howard winning the MVP: "All twisting power." That and leading a mediocre team to within sniffing distance of the wild card.


AL MVP
Buddha: Derek Jeter, Yankees
As a Yankee hater, it pains me to admit that Jeter a.) has one of the toughest jobs in sports as the Yankee captain, and b.) handles it extremely well. This year has been among his best, and no one else from the playoff-bound AL teams makes a clear case to beat him out. So I'd have to give a reluctant nod to the man the Rog calls Jeee-AAYYY-terrr.

EJ: Derek Jeter, Yankees
This is the tightest of all the races, and the most unusual. My top three candidates — Jeter, Justin Morneau and Jermaine Dye — bat second, fifth and fifth, respectively. Morneau and Dye are having similarly spectacular seasons, but what jumped out at me is Jeter’s numbers across the board. He batted .343, with 118 runs scored, 97 RBI, 39 doubles, 14 home runs and 34 stolen bases. Given, he is surrounded by the best offense in baseball. But he’s what makes it go, and he plays a premium defensive position.

NL Cy Young
Buddha: Brandon Webb, Diamondbacks
He has the stats - 16-8, 3.10 ERA - and he's also tied for the most complete games in the NL (5) and is second in innings pitched. Add in that he's only given up 15 home runs in all those at bats. You have to respect that season. Roy Oswalt, Chris Carpenter and Carlos Zambrano deserve consideration (especially Zambrano, who has about a quarter of the Cubs' wins), but Webb is the winner.

EJ: Brandon Webb, Diamondbacks
The equivalent of last year’s AL Cy Young race, this is the lamest race in baseball. It was Chris Carpenter’s to lose, so he lost it with two awful performances down the stretch when his team needed him most. That leaves Roy Oswalt, Trevor Hoffman and Webb (three shutouts) as the only real contenders. I’m rooting for Hoffman, who’s had a brilliant season to cap a brilliant career with 46 saves and a 2.14 ERA. But for a closer to win the Cy Young in my eyes, he has to blow everyone else away. Hoffman, with five blown saves and just 63 innings, doesn’t.


Al Cy Young
EJ: Johan Santana, Twins
This award requires the least debate. Roy Halladay was in the running there for a while, but Santana is a legit MVP candidate. He led the majors—not just the AL—in wins, ERA and strikeouts, and led the AL in innings pitched, which is flat out ridiculous. Some might even say ridirkulous.

Buddha: Johan Santana, Twins
When you lead the majors in wins, ERA and strikeouts, you win the Cy Young. Hands down. No argument. Insert reinforcing cliche number three here.

Other Thoughts

Other quick predictions for the first round games:

Yankees in 3. A no-brainer. The Tigers are reeling and the Yankees lineup is absurd. I was really pulling for the Tigers to win the division so the Yanks would have to play the Twins in the first round. Though, honestly, I'm not sure it would have mattered. The Yanks are the overwhelming favorites to win the World Series.

Twins in 5. At least that would have been my pick before I found out the A's won Game 1. Seems everyone forgot that Barry Zito is pretty good, too. Still, the Twins aren't going to go away simply because Santana lost.

Padres in 4. I was hoping the Mets would draw the Pares rather than the Dodgers in the first round, because the Padres can't score runs. That could open the door for the Cardinals if Pujols can carry them, but I just don't see the Cards turning it around after that horrible finish. And if there is any pitching staff that can make the Padres' offense look good, it's St. Louis'.

Mets in 5. No Pedro and apparently a hurt El Duque may make me re-think this pick, because these teams look pretty even all in all. I do think the Mets offense is stronger, though, and home-field advantage will hopefully be the difference here.

Before the NCAA started giving the Patriot League an automatic bid to the I-AA football championships, Patriot schools were often overmatched in non-league games, including those against teams from the Ivy League. In 1994, Lafayette won the Patriot League with a losing overall record. In 1996, when Bucknell won its only Patriot League championship, the Bison opened 1-4, including losses to Harvard, Penn, and Yale, before beating Princeton in week six. But as Lehigh, Colgate, and Lafayette began to build successful programs that played well in the postseason, the tables turned. Patriot schools took the edge in Patriot-Ivy games, in some years by a wide margin.

This year, there seems to be another reversal in the works. Ivy schools have won nine of the 11 Patriot-Ivy meetings so far, with seven inter-conference games remaining in the next two weeks. Is this a blip on the screen or a sign that the balance of Northeast mid-level I-AA power is shifting? Does anyone really care? I might be the only one, but it definitely caught my attention.

Also of note, from I-AA football:
- Montana State, Portland State, Richmond, North Dakota State, and New Hampshire have all beaten I-A teams this season, with New Hampshire’s drubbing of Northwestern perhaps the most significant.
- New Hampshire-Delaware was the best college game I saw last weekend. (And with ’Nator at the beach, I saw a bunch.) For those who didn’t see it, New Hampshire won, 52-49. UNH’s junior quarterback Ricky Santos has been simply amazing, and their top receiver, David Ball, has passed Jerry Rice to top the career touchdowns list.
- Lehigh's junior quarterback has a name familiar to NBA fans: Sedale Threatt. The son of the former hoops star has posted good numbers so far, completing 60 percent of his passes for 215 yards a game with five touchdowns and two interceptions. But the numbers have not translated to wins for the 1-3 Engineers, er, Mountain Hawks.