Sportsmeat

The bowl season has commenced, and a few people have already accrued points (led by BT, who picked up 20 on Utah).

However, we still have the following outstanding:

-) Dave Law - you need to pick the national championship game
-) Snoop and Y.A. Shoes - we still need your picks.

That about does it. Happy Bowling!

Taking a little sting out of Boise losing to East Carolina (and taking 11 of my pride points with it) was a 4-0 week for the NFL picks Week 16. Dave Law was the only other Meater to post a winning record on the week, collecting six points.

Below are the updated standings:

Budds - 120 points (2)
EJ - 106.5 (8)
Maxipriest - 101.5 (2)
Snoop - 97 (0)
Joe - 95 (4)
Dave Law - 77.5 (6)
Big Thunder - 74 (2)
Y.A. Shoes - 31 (0)

My memory is hazy, but I believe there's a John Candy movie in which he succinctly explains the contents of a hot dog. Lips and something. I'll leave it to the rest of you to look that one up. Still, I eat them anyway, usually on the golf course, at BBQs, and especially at baseball games. I'm not alone. According to this bit of knowledge from the New York Times and my back-o-the-mustard-stained-napkin calculation, New York baseball fans alone consumed more than four million dogs last year, a number that would make Joey Chestnut's cheeks burst with pride. The details:

The Executive Pursuits column in Business Day on May 5, about selling hot dogs at Shea Stadium, misinterpreted a survey by the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council and referred incorrectly to hot dog sales at Shea. Although the stadium sells an average of just under 20,000 hot dogs a game, and ranks No. 1 among major league ballparks who responded to the questionnaire from the hot dog council, Shea does not lead all ballparks in sales. It trails Yankee Stadium, which sells about 30,000 a game but did not answer the survey. (A reader raised the issue after an article on May 11 about the introduction of Latin food at Yankee Stadium mentioned the higher figure for the Yankees. Unfortunately for the reader, who vowed not to “consume any dogs at either stadium until it has been settled,” this correction was delayed for research, but the Mets have a home game tomorrow night.)

This comes from Regret the Error's annual list of the best media errors and corrections. Click here to read the whole list.

Labels: hot dogs, joey chestnut, lips, meat

Some random thoughts in the form of one post.

• Discussion Question: Is Emmitt Smith the worst analyst ever? This question was prompted by his incredibly douchebaggy "offer" to "let" Adrian Peterson ask "the all-time leading rusher" any advice after this week's MNF game. To AP's credit, he has much better on-screen presence (and grammar) than Emmitt. Perhaps he was a grammar major.

Note how Steve Young starts laughing, thinking Emmitt's "offer" is a joke, then stops when he realizes that Emmitt is being serious.

Other examples of Emmitt's analytical shortcomings:

The Texans are a "fortible" opponent that should not be "slipped" on. It confuses Stu Scott so much that he goes cross-eyed for a second. At least I think that's the reason...


The NFC West is one of the weakest conferences in the NFC. Also, Alex Smith has to learn three different offenses every year.

Those are all that haven't been removed by ESPN. However, Awful Announcing and The Angry T credit the following gems to ES:

"[Adrian Peterson] is redefining the way teams defend the running ability."

"If you want to stay perfect, you cannot go undefeated with a blemish on your record."

On whether the Cowboys are on the same level as the Pats and the Colts:
"The Dallas Cowboys are not far behind. They are a distant third. They're close but they're not quite there yet."

On Randy Moss:
"You can't change the stripes on a leopard." [stated more than once]

• After Serbia's recent loss to Greece in international play, Darko Milicic was angry. I woulda never guessed it, but you don't want to see Darko Angry.

• Did you know that an NHL player just got a 30 game suspension? I had no idea, and I've watched Sportscenter multiple times this week. Just shows that the NHL has really slipped. Anyhow, clips like this are a good reason to watch:

• Finally, if you are not reading Agent Zero's blog, you are doing yourself a disservice. He's brutally honest, funny, and legitimately insightful. Check it out.

NFL Picks Time

That was festive.

Here are the games:

PATS -22 Phins

VIKINGS -7 Skins

Browns -3 BENGALS

JAGS -13.5 Raiders

BT takes Pats, Skins, Browns and Raiders

BBD takes Phins, Vikings, Browns and Raiders.

EJ wants to elaborate a bit. He says, "I'll take the Dolphins - how much fun would 0-14 vs. 14-0 have been? I have to say, though, I wasn't that upset that the Dolphins won. It's hard to root against an 0-13 team, especially when they're playing Ray Lewis.

"Redskins - this is probably not a smart pick, but I don't see how the Vikes are winning with Tavaris Jackson and Brooks Bollinger. [Ed. note - the "This team can't be as good/bad as they look" logic nearly always leads to an incorrect pick. I know from experience.]

"Bengals - no way the Browns go 11-5, though for some reason I can palate 10-6; plus the Bengals aren't THIS bad, so this is an even-out game (is this shaping up as 0-4 week for me or what?). [Ed. note - see Ed. note above.]

"Jags - I'm on the Jags' bandwagon, no reason to jump off now, though that is a big spread for a team with a good D (Raiders) and a team that doesn't score a ton (Jags). I'm counting on a 21-7 win there."

Labels: Agent Zero, Awful Announcing, Darko Milicic, Emmitt Smith, Gilbert Arenas, Hockey Fights, Prognostications

Well, it appears we have the de rigueur excuse of the steroids era, and give Andy Pettitte credit for coming up with it. In a pathetic statement to the press—“If what I did was an error in judgment on my part, I apologize,” Pettitte said, ignoring the obvious fact that what he did WAS in fact an error in judgment, unless he meant that he planned on cheating all along—Pettitte said he used HGH to help recover from an injury but that he never used steroids.

Fernando Vina, who managed to be even more pathetic despite a fairly sympathetic interview on ESPN, which employs him, used the same excuse, though he became somewhat absent-minded when it came to all the checks he wrote to Radomski in the ensuing years. Gary Bennett, who I had no idea was still playing, used the excuse as well.

I think, at this point, I’m too jaded for all this, to the point where I’m no longer objective or fair. I have a hard time believing any of these guys because, frankly, they haven’t given me much reason to. When asked if he responded to George Mitchell, who apparently contacted Vina and his agent, Vina said he had heard something about Mitchell wanting to talk to him, but wanted to put it all behind him. My guess is that “something” was his agent saying, “Fernando, George Mitchell wants to talk to you.” He ignored this, borrowing a learned tool from the Mark McGwire School of Cowardice.

Nothing can change what’s been done. It’s nearly impossible to consider any baseball stat from 1995-2004 (give or take) to have much legitimacy. Roger Clemens’ name is all-but-erased from the argument of the best pitcher of all-time (because who knows how many Cy Youngs he deserved—by the way, why isn’t he talking?) and I will never consider Barry Bonds as the home run king.

Heroes and idols have become frauds in increasingly greater numbers. The more realistic approach is that everyone makes mistakes and no one likes owning up to those mistakes. I can understand that, so maybe I’m being unfair in asking for a little honesty at this point. Of course, maybe by now it’s too late anyway.

Other random thoughts from the weekend past:

-) The Pats will probably go 16-0, but it won’t be an easy road to the Super Bowl if they have to beat the Jaguars and Colts. That was an impressive win over the Steelers on Sunday. I think the Jags are right there with the Cowboys for the third-best team in the NFL.

-) The Jets are a mess. The O-line stinks despite drafting two linemen in the first round in 2006, they seem to lack a dynamic playmaker on offense (closest thing being Leon Washington), they have no deep threat at wideout and no clue who their QB is next week or next year. Oh, and they desperately need a pass rusher. I know teams can turn around quickly in the NFL, but I’m not encouraged.

-) It’s time to let Isaiah go. I guess he’s trying every motivational ploy by calling out his players, but he loses some right to bitch when he’s the one who assembled the team. Randolph and Curry clearly can’t play together, the starting 5 is all offense the three primary reserves mostly defense, which adds up to nothing good. This should have been done five years ago, but better late than never—tear down this team and start over. Perhaps by trading anyone on the roster for a point guard (perhaps T.J. Ford if Calderon is the guy in Toronto).

-) Great hire by Michigan. Rich Rodriguez is one of the best coaches in college football, an upgrade on Lloyd Carr and a better game coach than Les Miles. Michigan may have stumbled through this process pretty badly, but it (save the $4 mil they have to fork over in a buyout clause) came through as well as I could have possibly imagined.

-) Kudos to Budds on the below field hockey analogy. Apt and made me laugh out loud. Nice work!

So far, only three 'Meaters have made their picks in the Sportsmeat College Football Bowl Game Final Jeopardy-Like Prognostication Fiasco (the "SCFBGFJLPF" or "What is Mount Soovius?"). From my days covering local sports for a newspaper, I'd say this thing is sort of like high school field hockey: The rules are confusing, there's a lot of pride on the line (and not much else), and when it's all over, win or lose, there's going to be a pizza party at Caitlin's house. OK, maybe not the last part.

CLICK HERE to see the details.

Once again proving that picking against Vegas is a 50-50 proposition, Sportsmeat essentially split its games this week. Of the seven people who submitted picks this week, four went 2-2 and the total for the week was 13-15. Joe won the week with a late switch from the Pats to the Jets, who scored a whopping three points in four trips to the red zone yesterday and who remind me every week how much they suck.

Anyway, here are the updated totals (this week in parentheses):

Budds - 118 points (4)
Maxipriest - 99.5 (4)
EJ - 98.5 (4)
Snoop - 97 (0)
Joe - 91 (6)
Big Thunder - 72 (2)
Dave Law - 71.5 (4)
Y.A. Shoes - 31 (2)

Ok, for week 15 we're going with the two best games of the week (Bills-Browns, go figure), the biggest spread in NFL history and perhaps the worst team in NFL history (that's right, the road to 0-16 rolls on). Here goes:

Ravens 3 DOLPHINS
BROWNS 5.5 Bills
PATRIOTS 24 Jets
STEELERS 4 Jaguars

BT takes the AFC East: Dolphins, Bills, Patriots and Steelers
Budds selects the AFC North: Ravens, Browns, Jets and Steelers
And I'll split the bill and add an AFC South: Ravens, Bills, Jets and Jags

I haven't had much of a chance to digest the news from the Mitchell report, but I did check out a PDF of the complete release on the NYT site. One very brief segment that really says it all:

According to the notes of an internal discussion among Los Angeles Dodgers officials in October 2003 that were referred to above, it was reportedly said of Lo Duca during the meetings:

Steroids aren’t being used anymore on him. Big part of this.
Might have some value to trade . . . Florida might have interest.
. . . Got off the steroids . . . Took away a lot of hard line drives.
. . . Can get comparable value back would consider trading. . . . If
you do trade him, will get back on the stuff and try to show you he
can have a good year. That’s his makeup. Comes to play. Last
year of contract, playing for 05.

By 2003, baseball officials were incorporating the steroid issue as just another tool in their player evaluations. Good arm, poor speed, hits for power, no longer on 'roids (or something like that). This will take a long time to undo, if baseball really wants to undo it.

As we mentioned in the last post's comments, it is time for the Sportsmeat College Football Bowl Game Final Jeopardy-Like Prognostication Fiasco (the "SCFBGFJLPF").

Here are the rules:

1) Each player must pick at least 5 bowl games on which to wager.
2) Each player must wager at least 5 points on each game.
3) Each player must make a pick on the championship game.
4) Nobody may wager more than 50% of their available points on any one game.
5) Each player must wager all of their points (BBD must wager a total of 114 points, Dave Law must wager 67.5, etc.).

Again, here's the standings:

Budds - 114 points
Snoop - 97
Maxipriest - 95.5
EJ - 94.5
Joe - 85
Big Thunder - 70
Dave Law - 67.5
Y.A. Shoes - 29

For sanity's sake, I'm not dealing in half points. So here is the largest wager amount available to each contestant:

Budds - 57 points
Snoop - 49
Maxipriest - 48
EJ - 48
Joe - 43
Big Thunder - 35
Dave Law - 34
Y.A. Shoes - 15

Here are the bowls (picking straight up -- not against the spread):

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia
Utah vs. Navy

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Memphis vs. Florida Atlantic

Papajohns.com Bowl
Southern Miss vs. Cincinnati

New Mexico
Nevada vs. New Mexico

Pioneer Las Vegas
UCLA vs. BYU

Sheraton Hawaii
Boise State vs. East Carolina

Motor City
Purdue vs. Central Michigan

Pacific Life Holiday
Arizona State vs. Texas

Champs Sports
Boston College vs. Michigan State

Texas
TCU vs. Houston

Emerald
Maryland vs. Oregon State

Meineke Car Care
UConn vs. Wake Forest

AutoZone Liberty
UCF vs. Mississippi State

Valero Alamo
Penn State vs. Texas A&M

PetroSun Independence
Alabama vs. Colorado

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces
California vs. Air Force

Roady's Humanitarian
Georgia Tech vs. Fresno State

Brut Sun
South Florida vs. Oregon

Gaylord Hotels Music City
Kentucky vs. Florida State

Insight
Indiana vs. Oklahoma State

Chick-fil-A
Clemson vs. Auburn

Outback
Wisconsin vs. Tennessee

AT&T Cotton
Missouri vs. Arkansas

Konica Minolta Gator
Texas Tech vs. Virginia

Capital One
Michigan vs. Florida

Rose Bowl presented by Citi
Illinois vs. USC

Allstate Sugar
Hawaii vs. Georgia

Tostitos Fiesta
Oklahoma vs. West Virginia

FedEx Orange
Virginia Tech vs. Kansas

International
Rutgers vs. Ball State

GMAC
Bowling Green vs. Tulsa

Allstate BCS Championship Game
LSU vs. Ohio State

Put your picks in the comments. Also, if you have any questions, fire away soon.

Discussion Topics:

1) TJ Ford went to the hospital (again) after somehow landing on his head following an Al Horford foul. Horford was ejected from the game. Over 60% on ESPN.com think Horford should be suspended, fined, or both. What's your take on that play?

**Please note -- the picture at the right is not from Tuesday's game. It is from 2004 -- the other time Ford was taken off the court on a stretcher with his head immobilized.

2) The Mitchell report supposedly names Roger Clemens as a juicer. Does this surprise you? If so, are you F'ing retarded? Did anyone not see this coming? What's next? Bret Boone? Maybe Brady Anderson or Luis Gonzalez? Discuss.

Labels: Bowling, Broken Head, Mitchell Report, Roger Clemens Sucks, SCFBGFJLPF, TJ Ford

It's getting a little late in the game and Budds has settled into a commanding lead, after everyone had either six (everyone but me and Joe) or two (me and Joe) points this week. I picked against the Patriots because I always pick against the Patriots, but I have yet to figure out why I took the Ravens (since I can't stand them) and I found out shortly after picking the Cardinals that they were missing both Pro Bowl receivers (minus-2 points for not doing your homework).

Alas, it may not matter. Budds is now up 17 points on Snoop for second place, while a mere 2.5 points separate second place from fourth. To deny Budds a second consecutive title, someone will need to make a run during the college football sportsmeat spectacular or the NFL playoffs, where points abound.

Overall Points (points this week):
Budds 114 points (6)
Snoop 97 (6)
Maxipriest 95.5 (6)
EJ 94.5 (2)
Joe 85 (2)
Big Thunder 70 (6)
Dave Law 67.5 (6)
Y.A. Shoes 29 (0)

So at a Christmas party last weekend, I talked to a friend who now owns a bus. A short bus, once a school bus, painted white and available for rental. It's been reconfigured to seat 12 comfortably (sadly, ample room for all of the 'meat nation) and has a restroom of sorts in the back (I won't go into detail other than to say No. 1 only).

My question for the group is this -- when are we renting this thing and where are we taking it? Creativity encouraged.

You can include your suggestions with this week's picks:

TENNESSEE PK San Diego
SEATTLE -6.5 Arizona
NEW ENGLAND -10.5 Pittsburgh
Indianapolis -9.5 BALTIMORE

E.J. takes the Chargers and the dogs -- Cards, Steelers and Ravens.
Big Thunder is going with the Chargers, Cards, Pats and Colts.
Budds has the Chargers, Seahawks, Steelers and Colts.

By far the coolest part of my short-lived stint as a sports writer was having a Heisman ballot for three years. My guys – Willis McGahee, Larry Fitzgerald and Adrian Peterson – didn’t win, but it was cool knowing that one of those first-place votes in parentheses came from me.

My forum now is Sportsmeat, which is far better because it has fewer voters than the Heisman race (which is a little ridiculous, evidenced by me having a Heisman vote in the first place). Anyway, I’m curious what other people think about the race, but here’s how my ballot would break down:

1. Tim Tebow, QB, Florida. Other than his team’s three losses, I’m not sure what a voter could hold against him. (And keep in mind, those three losses came to No. 2 LSU, No. 4 Georgia and No. 20 Auburn, and Tebow had 4 TDs, 2 INTs and 4 rushing TDs in those games.) Yes, he’s a sophomore, but who cares? He amassed an astounding 51 touchdowns and had more rushing TDs than Darren McFadden (22 to 15). Most importantly, he proved an excellent throwing quarterback. QB rating is a misleading stat, but he was No. 2 in that measure. More importantly, he threw for 3,132 yards and showed accuracy (69 percent completion) and intelligence (six INTs against 29 TDs). The three losses are a mark against him, but in a two-man race with McFadden (whose Razorbacks have four losses), it shouldn’t be an issue.

2. Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas. Most project him as the most talented college football player in the country and he certainly had a fine season. Despite sharing time with Felix Jones (who rushed for 1,117 yards) and facing teams that stacked the line of scrimmage against him, McFadden ran for 1,725 yards and had 21 receptions for 164 yards. He even threw for a TD against LSU, and you know a running back is valuable when, in the most important drive of the season, he is the one playing QB so he can touch the ball on every snap. And that 34-carry, 321-yard rushing performance against South Carolina was a gem.

3. Dennis Dixon, QB, Oregon. I’m not making the argument that he was so valuable his team crumbled without him. To me, that is an indictment of his backups. But Dixon was amazing before his injury, which is the real shame of the college football season (and painful to see Oregon crumble down the stretch). Dixon was having a great year, running the play-action better than anyone I’ve seen (college or pro) and demonstrating complete command of the offense. Had he not been injured, I really believe Oregon would have gone 11-1, and perhaps Tebow wouldn’t be the QB holding the Heisman.

Just off the ballot: 4. Chase Daniel, Missouri; 5. Glenn Dorsey, LSU; 6. Pat White, West Virginia.

Dave Law made the big move this week, posting the only 4-0 effort among the posters, followed by Snoop at 3-1. Here are the updated standings:

Overall Points (points this week):
Budds 108 points (4)
EJ 92.5 (2)
Snoop 91 (6)
Maxipriest 89.5 (0)
Joe 83 (4)
Big Thunder 64 (2)
Dave Law 61.5 (8)
Y.A. Shoes 29 (0)