Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Scene Five: The Resolution
The time has come to end the saga otherwise known as "Butt Shots: The Musical," based on the alleged steroid use of Roger Clemens. In Scene Five, we get a glimpse of three final pieces -- a phone call with Brian McNamee, an interrogation from U.S. Senators, and a return to where the story began, in Roger's quiet bedroom. Confused? Follow the rest of the story by checking out Scene One: The Temptation, Scene Two: The Injection, Scene Three: The Confrontation, and Scene Four: The Investigation.
[ROGER is on the phone with MCNAMEE]
ROGER: Have you seen the news?
They say I'm a cheat.
A loser who had to
Shoot drugs to compete---
MCNAMEE: What do you want me to say?
ROGER: Sold down the river,
Now I'm up a creek,
Even Mike Wallace says,
That I have to speak---
MCNAMEE: What do you want me to say?
ROGER: I didn't do it,
Just tell them the truth,
The fans will forgive me,
There never was proof.
MCNAMEE: (spoken) Wait, do you want me to tell the truth, or do you want me to just say you didn't do it---
ROGER: This CON-VER-SAAAAAY-TION ... is ... O-VER! [angrily hangs up the phone and storms off stage]
[Set up desk, with water pitcher and glass, for Congressional testimony]
ROGER: [seated] It's just like I said,
B-12, Lanacane,
A quick little shooter,
To deal with the pain.
SENATOR A: You really expect,
We'll buy that old line,
After Pettite himself
Told us you were lyin'
ROGER: He must have misheard,
My sarcastic laugh,
Let's forget this whole thing,
Here's my autograph--- [gets up to hand SENATOR A a signed baseball]
SENATOR B: Enough of this trash,
Return to your seat,
This hearing is over,
Adjourned and complete! [bangs gavel, ROGER wanders, dejectedly, toward center stage while hearing room set is wheeled away]
[Bedroom set from Scene One is returned to the stage. ROGER climbs into bed.]
[Reprise of "Sleepless in Toronto"]
ROGER: They say that every star,
Eventually must dim,
And the star cannot protest,
When it’s happening to him.
Yes, I used to be a hero,
A man in a boy's game.
Now I’m an utter failure,
And steroids are to blame.
I can never be that ace,
Aging or otherwise.
The sweet rejuvination,
Has become my demise.
No one will remember,
That juice fueled my whole team,
Crashing Rocket is the scape goat,
Wish it were just a dream.
[ROGER falls asleep, stage fades to darkness. Curtains close.]
[ROGER is on the phone with MCNAMEE]
ROGER: Have you seen the news?
They say I'm a cheat.
A loser who had to
Shoot drugs to compete---
MCNAMEE: What do you want me to say?
ROGER: Sold down the river,
Now I'm up a creek,
Even Mike Wallace says,
That I have to speak---
MCNAMEE: What do you want me to say?
ROGER: I didn't do it,
Just tell them the truth,
The fans will forgive me,
There never was proof.
MCNAMEE: (spoken) Wait, do you want me to tell the truth, or do you want me to just say you didn't do it---
ROGER: This CON-VER-SAAAAAY-TION ... is ... O-VER! [angrily hangs up the phone and storms off stage]
[Set up desk, with water pitcher and glass, for Congressional testimony]
ROGER: [seated] It's just like I said,
B-12, Lanacane,
A quick little shooter,
To deal with the pain.
SENATOR A: You really expect,
We'll buy that old line,
After Pettite himself
Told us you were lyin'
ROGER: He must have misheard,
My sarcastic laugh,
Let's forget this whole thing,
Here's my autograph--- [gets up to hand SENATOR A a signed baseball]
SENATOR B: Enough of this trash,
Return to your seat,
This hearing is over,
Adjourned and complete! [bangs gavel, ROGER wanders, dejectedly, toward center stage while hearing room set is wheeled away]
[Bedroom set from Scene One is returned to the stage. ROGER climbs into bed.]
[Reprise of "Sleepless in Toronto"]
ROGER: They say that every star,
Eventually must dim,
And the star cannot protest,
When it’s happening to him.
Yes, I used to be a hero,
A man in a boy's game.
Now I’m an utter failure,
And steroids are to blame.
I can never be that ace,
Aging or otherwise.
The sweet rejuvination,
Has become my demise.
No one will remember,
That juice fueled my whole team,
Crashing Rocket is the scape goat,
Wish it were just a dream.
[ROGER falls asleep, stage fades to darkness. Curtains close.]
Labels: Roger Clemens Musical
# posted by Budds @ 2:25 PM 
