Sportsmeat

The NCAA tournament is my favorite event of the sporting year. As we all know, this weekend it comes to an end. The Final Four represents the best of times and the worst of times. Best of times: we get to see the ultimate deciding games, (hopefully) played by the best teams (as they are this year). Worst of times: we can't avoid Billy Packer. To paraphrase a buddy of mine, watching the Final Four with Billy Packer is like going to the Gold Club with your Mother-in-law.

I hate Billy Packer. "Hate" is a strong word. It is also one that is completely accurate here. I hate Billy Packer. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of announcers that I dislike. Bill Maas and Dan Dierdorf make me cringe. Joe Buck and Tim McCarver make me feel like I need to take a shower. Sean Salisbury, Chris Berman, Stuart Scott, John Kruk, Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless make me wish that Connecticutt was hurricane country. Joe Morgan . . . well, Joe Morgan is just a world unto himself. But nobody even comes close to Billy Packer.


The reasons for my hate are numerous, and not unique from the reasons of my millions of Packer-hating peers (the first page results of a Google search for "Billy Packer" include pages entitled "Please remove Billy Packer from the airwaves," "Billy Packer Hatred," and "Billy Packer, please retire."). However, I'll list the first few. He is nothing but negative. He brings no joy to the game. He rarely says anything insightful that I did not know or would not have thought about (I say "rarely" because I specifically recall hearing an insightful comment of his two or three years ago. I was shocked. Unfortunately, I haven't heard a second insightful comment before or since.) He spends an inordinate amount of time criticizing calls or missed calls (and this is coming from someone who spends more time bitching about refs than the average fan). He speaks as if all of todays players are unskilled pansies compared to the real men who played in his day. And on and on...

Which is why I was pleased to see the story on Packer's criticism of Rashawn Terry. Now, by way of background, I really dislike UNC. I haven't seen Terry play all that much, so I don't know too much about his game, but he seems pretty decent. Recently, though, he had been out with a strep throat. It was severe enough that he went days without solid food, and lost about 10 pounds. Packer called him soft for not playing hurt. Terry responded:

Labels: Billy Packer, CBS, Dan Dierdorf, Final Four, Joe Morgan, March Madness, NCAA, Rashawn Terry, Sportscasters, Trash Talk

In quite possibly the easiest tournament to forecast in the past 25 years, I came within a miracle Georgetown comeback of going 1-for-4 in Final 4 picks. Just sad. That said, I'm willing to learn from my mistakes, which are:

• If you think an Elite 8 game is a toss up, it's best not to pick one of those two teams to win it all. I have to say, I went with Kansas on a hunch even though I knew they didn't match up well with UCLA, then decided to ride Kansas all the way to the title. In the East, I largely picked Georgetown because I thought they had an easier road to the Elite 8 than UNC, yet I didn't apply this to my national title pick. Of course, a lot of this had to do with my reluctance to pick Florida because I don't like Joakim Noah, which leads me to ...
• Always pick the most talented team to win. Florida is the most talented team, and they've been there before. Talent can be undone by youth (see Texas-USC and UNC-Georgetown) but it usually wins out. Another caveat here -- don't assume that defensively oriented teams aren't talented. People see North Carolina and how they can score and see an array of offensive weapons, but in many ways what UCLA (or So. Illinois for that matter) can do defensively is just as impressive.
• Ohio State is much better than I thought. I felt good about my pick of Tennessee over Ohio State and my feeling that the Buckeyes were vulnerable in the second round (though I thought BYU and not Xavier). I wasn't wrong there. But what I severely underestimated was Ohio State's ability to score. I'm more impressed with this team than any other I've seen in the tournament. Mike Conley Jr. is a star and Ron Lewis has been the breakout performer of the tournament so far -- huge shot against Xavier and 25 in the win over Tennessee.
• Shit happens. I'd pick Texas A&M to beat Memphis 10 times out of 10, but give Memphis credit for how well they played, for the number of defenders they threw at Acie Law to wear him out and to John Calipari for taking two completely different personnel groups to the Elite 8 two years in a row. If this group can stay together for next year, they are a legit title contender.

Anyway, now that I've relived how my brackets went to hell, let's anoint Maxipriest as the 2007 Sportsmeat NCAA Tournament bracket challenge champion. Maxi, you may come to pick up the creepy trophy whenever you wish (in a virtual sense). As with the college football pool, there will be no drama down the stretch for this pool. Big Thunder being the only one of us to pick Florida gives him a chance to crawl within two points of the final standings, but it won't be enough.

The big swing was yesterday, when Snoop's national title pick, UNC, failed to hold the lead against Maxi's pick, Georgetown, thus swinging the pool in the latter's favor. Here are the current standings:

Maxipriest - 153 points (46 available points)

Snoop - 136 points (0 available)

Budds - 134 points (46 available)

Big Thunder - 125 points (26 available)

EJ - 125 points (20 available)

Just got back from my first trip to Las Vegas, which coincided nicely with my first trip to Vegas for the NCAA Tournament. And, other than that funneling a yucca can make it mighty hard to make your plane the next day, here is what I learned:

1) While I may have some aptitude for picking winners, I have none when it comes to picking against the spread or the over/under. Me, I'm no betting man, but I did agree to advise two cohorts on their picks under the auspices that I would get 10 percent or a whole mess of free drinks. I promptly started out 1-4 and finished in the range of 3-6, though I did advise them to take Holy Cross in the women's first round game against Duke (the Blue Devils were favored by 49 and, while I know precious little about women's basketball, I know you can lose 80-35 there and still cover the spread. The Crusaders did, losing by about 30 or so. Alas, said cohorts didn't want to bet on women's basketball for the reason that they would then have to explain how they won their money).

2) Vegas oddsmakers know their shit. I couldn't believe how many games hung right on the line -- the near-killer being Ohio State tying Xavier in the last second and then winning the game by 7 -- the exact spread. The Sportsbook was angry that day, my friends. Another fun one was the agony when Holy Cross hit a meaningless layup against So. Illinois to go over by one point (I advised the under). Anyway, the oddsmakers impressed the hell out of me.

3) Don't take another man's seat in the Sportsbook. I can't even tell you how many fights I saw on this one. Apparently some people believe you can save a seat with anything ranging from a piece of paper to a half-full vodka tonic. Others believe otherwise. As for me, I stood on the sidelines to avoid the anger of the drunk who just took the under on Tennessee's 121-86 win over Long Beach State.

4) Don't leave Vegas early. The bachelor party I went to Vegas to attend ran until Monday, but I left Sunday and missed the fight between Joey Porter and Levi Jones, which was in the hotel (Palms) we were staying in. I had a chance to see an NFL player getting arrested and missed it and, really, how often does that happen?

Anyway, on to the results. Snoop was on fire in the tourney's first weekend, getting 56 of 64 available points and joining Big Thunder and MaxiPriest in correctly predicting every game in the South Region. However, Snoop was also the only one of us to lose a Final 4 team when Wisconsin fell to UNLV, meaning the pool and all its pride is still anyone's to win.

Here are the standing, with Elite 8 teams and Final 4 teams remaining in parentheses.

Snoop - 56 points (7) (3)
MaxiPriest - 49 (8) (4)
Budds - 46 (7) (4)
EJ - 45 (8) (4)
Big Thunder - 45 (7) (4)

I thought this trophy was as good as anything I'd be able to mock up in Photoshop, plus it's got a nice Chucky-ish vibe that I'd imagine could scare the bejeezus out of the poor eight-year-old who wins it if the moonlight catches it just right in the middle of the night. Or not. Maybe that's just me.

At the risk of being a party-pooper, I've got so say the people who call the NCAAs America's best sporting event are crazy. If you're going to consider a multi-week tournament an "event," then you've got to classify the NFL playoffs as an event, too. The NFL playoffs, from any objective measure (TV ratings, attendance, wagering), are a bigger deal than the big dance.

That said, this is one of my favorite weeks of the year. When I was a kid, I parlayed head colds into days off from school just to watch the first Thursday and Friday of the tournament, in hopes of catching a glimpse of all 64 teams. And today, when I was white-knuckling my way home through the sleet and snow, I got that same giddy feeling as the clock ticked down in the Winthrop game. I remember lots of great games -- Lehigh vs. Temple (OK, only great because the Lehigh guys were my basketball camp counselors), Princeton vs. UCLA, Hampton vs. Iowa State (I'll never pick the Cyclones to win it all again), Bucknell vs. Kansas, Bucknell vs. Arkansas, Valpo versus who-cares-who-it-was-do-you-remember-that-shot?! ... If you had asked me two weeks ago if Texas A&M had a satellite campus in Corpus Cristi, I'd have shrugged and directed you to Wikipedia. But if they'd won today, I would probably be an Islander fan for life. So it goes.

There's only one thing missing from my scrapbook of NCAA Tournament memories. In each of the last, oh, probably 18 years, I've laid down five, or ten, or in one case two dollars in a tournament pool. And each time, I've lost. (Ricky Bobby's right in this case -- it you're not first...) This year, I'm feeling a winner. Why, you ask? Because I've studied hard? Because I've perfected my methods? Because I've resorted to flipping coins? NO! This year, I will win the Sportsmeat pool because there is only pride on the line (and only four people to beat). I'll win. I'm almost sure of it. And I'll have this lovely, creepy virtual trophy for my virtual mantel. Yipee.

Enjoy the games. Hoya saxa.

It's NCAA Tournament time, which means it's time for the Meaters to lay their pride on the line in the first (well, first since college at least) Sportsmeat Bracket Challenge. Post your picks below and we'll tally them up after each weekend until we have a Sportsmeat NCAA Tournament Challenge 2007 Champion.

In a slightly revised scoring system devised while Budds was stuck in an airport in Fort Myers, we'll award 1 point for each first round pick correct, 2 points for the second round, 4 points for the Sweet 16 and 8 points for the elite 8. Each Final 4 contestant picked correctly will net you 16 points, with 20 points for the national runner-up and 26 points for the champion. That's right, the old 1-2-4-8-16-20-26.

And if you're lucky, maybe Budds will design some spiffy Photoshop trophy and we'll see if we can scrape together some maddog for the champion.

In 2007, it's for All the Meat!!! (or something like that)

The title of this post trivially refers to the NCAA tournament, but was chosen solely as an excuse to show this little kid who has achieved more in his 5 years than I ever will. Little known fact: my wife actually tried Dance Dance Revolution once, and scored a zero. Stephen Hawking could score at least a point.

Here are BT's quick hits for the NCAA tournament:

• Final Four: Florida, Kansas, Texas A&M, Georgetown. Sadly, after picking this group, Bill Simmons made an identical prediction. Perhaps I'm not as knowledgable as I thought. The toughest pick for me is Kansas, because I think UCLA will give them a fantastic game. I have Florida taking it down.
• The Big Ten will flounder. I have them going 5-6 as a conference, despite 3 wins from Ohio State. I also have zero ACC teams in the final 8. (My breakdown is 3 Big 12, 2 Pac 10, 1 Big Ten, 1 SEC, 1 Big East).
• Kevin Durant is the absolute man. I honestly believe that he is the best college basketball player I've ever seen. Can anyone name one better?
• In case anyone is looking to lay down some pride points against the spread in the first round, here are BT's stone cold locks: UNLV +1.5 over Ga Tech (UNLV should be favored by about 3.5), Nevada -1 over Creighton (Nevada should be a 5 seed, if not higher), Villanova -1 over Kentucky (Villanova is simply the better team, and will have the best player on the court).
• It is a little late to say this now that they have lost in the NIT, but I thought Drexel had absolutely no argument for exclusion from the tournament. They lost 5 games in the Colonial! They finished 4th in that league, behind Hofstra. Nobody argued that Hofstra should have been in. Argument over. If you want to have any shot at an at large bid from the Colonial, you cannot lose more than 3 games. The real team that got snubbed was Syracuse, and the snub-ber was Arkansas.
• You know what would completely suck? If you had to move into a new apartment during the first weekend of March Madness. Oh, wait. That will suck. For me.

So there are two southern No. 1 seeds and two Midwestern No. 1 seeds, yet neither of the southern teams is in the South and neither of the Midwestern teams is in the Midwest. So begins the 2007 NCAA Tournament, otherwise known as the most fun sporting event ever. The talk today is over who got in and who got left out, but really, none of these bubble teams are going to make it to the Final Four so I’m not too freaked out about it (for the record, I would have put Syracuse and Drexel in and taken Arkansas and Illinois out, with Kansas State for Xavier right there as well). The most interesting snub is Drexel. I don’t think they were a slam dunk (pardon the pun), but you have to feel for a mid-major that goes on the road and gets wins at St. Joe’s, Syracuse and Villanova (if only they hadn’t lost to Penn, Rider and William & Mary and gotten killed by VCU and ODU).

Anyway, on to the brackets:

East
Upset Watch: First of all, since it’s hard to forecast I’m only going to make upset picks for the first two rounds. But here it goes. Oral Roberts over Washington State. You’re going to hear this one a lot over the next few days and in a lot of ways it’s unfair to Wazzu, which is a very good and deserving No. 3 seed. The problem here is that Washington St. has trouble scoring at times and Oral Roberts can score in heaps when they’re on. It’ll be interesting, at the least. Also watch: Marquette/Mich. St. over UNC.

Sleeper: USC. I know they’re a No. 5 seed, but everyone seems to view their first-round matchup with Arkansas as a draw and the talk is all about a UNC-Texas Sweet 16 matchup. The Trojans are a solid, well-coached team that didn’t reach the Pac-10 final by accident and could very well upend a young Texas squad in the second round.

My Pick: Georgetown. UNC’s youth scares me but the Tar Heels are immensely talented. Too bad their draw is so brutal. A potential gauntlet of Marquette, Texas and Georgetown is a lot to ask of anyone, and the Hoyas are hot, solid and have a much easier draw to the Elite 8.


South
Upset Watch: BYU over Ohio State. Would I pick this? Probably not, but don’t be surprised if it happens. The Cougars have a good inside-outside combo and have played well down the stretch. A lot of this is me just not being sold on the Buckeyes. They haven’t really impressed me this year and they have trouble scoring at times. Also watch: Nevada over Memphis.

Sleeper: Tennessee. If anyone unexpected is going to make the Final 4 (and by that, I mean anyone below a No. 3 seed), I think it’ll be the Vols. Chris Lofton is healthy and they’re playing well, and I think this bracket sets up well for them. If BYU doesn’t get the Buckeyes, I think the Tennessee will.

My Pick: Texas A&M. Acie Law is a stud and I think he’ll be the star of the tournament. Plus, other than potentially playing Louisville in Kentucky (how the hell did that happen, by the way?), I don’t see a lot stopping the Aggies from the Elite 8, and I think they have enough to knock off Tennessee and advance to the Final 4.


Midwest
Upset Watch: Old Dominion over Butler. Ok, this is kind of a lame pick because, really, Butler is not a big-name No. 5 seed. Still, it’s a 12-5 upset, and a good bet since ODU seems to have gotten stronger as the year has gone on, while Butler has faltered a bit. This could also shape up as a 12-13 second-round game, because Davidson certainly has the chops to knock off Maryland (bias here: I’m from Maryland so generally pick the Terps). Also watch: Arizona over Florida; it probably won’t happen, but Arizona is a scarily talented No. 8 seed.

Sleeper: Georgia Tech. The Yellow Jackets have been very streaky, but they’re a young team that seems to be coming together and they have the kind of draw that could lead them to the Elite 8.

My Pick: Florida. This is really a no-brainer. I think Arizona is the only team in this bracket that can beat the Gators, but the Wildcats lack of depth will hurt them in the second of two games in three days. No one else should challenge Florida.


West
Upset Watch: VCU over Duke. That’s right, a second straight nod for the mighty Colonial Conference. I’ve seen VCU play twice this year and was really impressed both times, while I can’t say the same about the Blue Devils. I feel weird picking against Duke in Round 1 because of their prior success and Coach K’s track record, but I’ll take this limb. Also watch: Wright State over Pitt, which needs Aaron Gray to find his game quickly.

Sleeper: Southern Illinois. I know, this is kind of lame, picking a No. 4 seed as a sleeper, but the Salukis are really, really good. Best defensive team in the tournament and I think they’ll live up to their seeding. Other than that, I don’t see a sleeper team in a bracket that should be dominated by two of the three best teams in the nation.

My Pick: Kansas. Coming into the tournament, I had five teams I thought could win it all: Florida, Kansas, UCLA, UNC and Georgetown, so I’d be pretty shocked if Kansas and UCLA weren’t playing for the Final 4 here. The Bruins are better defensively, but I really like the Jayhawks as an overall unit. This is basically a coin flip, but I’ll go with Kansas.

A few things from the sporting world have been derailing my train of thought, so I'm throwing them out here to give you, the 'Meat nation village trio, a chance to comment. In no particular order...

The SI cover story on climate change and sports is a little off topic, I think. I'm certainly aware of the problems and I care about what's happening to our planet. Do I care because I want future generations to be able to ski and play golf and watch day games at Wrigley without wearing SPF 90? Well, sure, but those things are relatively far down the list. Apparently, SI thinks that if global warming had started earlier, Willie Mays wouldn't have made his iconic over-the-shoulder catch. If that's going to make you go out and buy a hybrid car, it's a good thing for the environment but a sad statement on priorities.

If there's one thing I hate, it's sports radio discussions of unwritten rules. If athletes go out of their way to break every written rule in the book -- and in every sport, from polo to poker to ping pong -- why are people so suprised when people break the "unwritten" ones (and a certain Carolinian's nose)? For the record, there are surely things I hate more than sports radio discussions of unwritten rules, including itchy boxer shorts, the BeeGees, and radio ads for the international star registry.

Duke lacrosse is ranked No. 1 in the country, which is impressive considering the year those players have had off the field, but they've had some help: Johns Hopkins, Virginia, Syracuse, and Princeton, the only teams to win NCAA titles in the last 15 years, each lost one of its first two games. Bucknell fans take note: The Bison are 4-0 and creeping up the charts, No. 17 at last check.

Sometimes, finding time to blog is hard work. I mean, even in the February lull of sports action, I've seen incredible games worthy of comment, including the Texas-Texas A&M showdown on Wednesday, which Snoop recently highlighted. Our beloved Bucknell Bison are vying for a trip back to the big dance, though they'll have to go through Worcester (Holy Cross won the home-court tiebreaker by having a better RPI). And the Knicks' season is twisting its way down the hopper after Crawford's injury. But when you're busy, it takes something truly sensational to get you back on the blog train.

Like when the principal of your old middle school sells meth to a police informer from his office and is later apprehended while naked and watching gay porn, also in his office. Allegedly.

The local press, formerly my employer, seems to have taken particular joy in running photos of the rusty "Drug Free School Zone" sign outside of Nitschmann (pronounced NITCH-mann and named for the man who felled the first tree when the Moravians settled Bethlehem... there's a replica log cabin across the street, for students who have trouble imagining what Nitschmann's contribution might have looked like). While it's usually fun to see your hometown in the news, even when it's because some crazy college kid robbed a bank to pay off his gambling debts, it's hard to see any silver lining on this cloud.