Friday, March 30, 2007
_____ Packer (Fill in the Blank)
The NCAA tournament is my favorite event of the sporting year. As we all know, this weekend it comes to an end. The Final Four represents the best of times and the worst of times. Best of times: we get to see the ultimate deciding games, (hopefully) played by the best teams (as they are this year). Worst of times: we can't avoid Billy Packer. To paraphrase a buddy of mine, watching the Final Four with Billy Packer is like going to the Gold Club with your Mother-in-law.
I hate Billy Packer. "Hate" is a strong word. It is also one that is completely accurate here. I hate Billy Packer. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of announcers that I dislike. Bill Maas and Dan Dierdorf make me cringe. Joe Buck and Tim McCarver make me feel like I need to take a shower. Sean Salisbury, Chris Berman, Stuart Scott, John Kruk, Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless make me wish that Connecticutt was hurricane country. Joe Morgan . . . well, Joe Morgan is just a world unto himself. But nobody even comes close to Billy Packer.
The reasons for my hate are numerous, and not unique from the reasons of my millions of Packer-hating peers (the first page results of a Google search for "Billy Packer" include pages entitled "Please remove Billy Packer from the airwaves," "Billy Packer Hatred," and "Billy Packer, please retire."). However, I'll list the first few. He is nothing but negative. He brings no joy to the game. He rarely says anything insightful that I did not know or would not have thought about (I say "rarely" because I specifically recall hearing an insightful comment of his two or three years ago. I was shocked. Unfortunately, I haven't heard a second insightful comment before or since.) He spends an inordinate amount of time criticizing calls or missed calls (and this is coming from someone who spends more time bitching about refs than the average fan). He speaks as if all of todays players are unskilled pansies compared to the real men who played in his day. And on and on...
Which is why I was pleased to see the story on Packer's criticism of Rashawn Terry. Now, by way of background, I really dislike UNC. I haven't seen Terry play all that much, so I don't know too much about his game, but he seems pretty decent. Recently, though, he had been out with a strep throat. It was severe enough that he went days without solid food, and lost about 10 pounds. Packer called him soft for not playing hurt. Terry responded:
"Anyone who thinks I'm soft doesn't know s--- about basketball. . . . Soft? That's foolish. It's offensive to be called that. I try not to let that sort of stuff bother me but I will say that if Billy Packer played in my day, I would bust his ass. It would be a massacre."
Now that's my kind of response. Confident. Direct. Angry. He wants to dunk on Packer and then sleep with Packer's daughter. And that's a sentiment we all can get behind.I think on Saturday I may keep a pen and paper by my side just to chronicle Packer's douchenozzlery (asshattery?). Look for a scintillating post next week. Or maybe next month, at the rate I post.
Finally, I'd like to open it up to the floor -- who is your most hated sports announcer?
Labels: Billy Packer, CBS, Dan Dierdorf, Final Four, Joe Morgan, March Madness, NCAA, Rashawn Terry, Sportscasters, Trash Talk
# posted by Big Thunder @ 4:21 PM 
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I agree with your Packer comments, but there are a few negative comments that I disagree with. I like Chris Berman, and I really like John Kruk. The Krukker, Harold Reynolds, and Peter Gammons threesome made for some of the funniest segments on television prior to Harold hitting on every female intern at ESPN.
Not that I'm biased or anything, but I especially dislike Susan Waldman and John Sterling's call of Yankees games. When I listen to Yankee games, I want to finish every line they say with "Derek, can I lick your nuts?"
Who would you recommend do the Final Four games? "Man to Man" Rafferty? Walton?
Not that I'm biased or anything, but I especially dislike Susan Waldman and John Sterling's call of Yankees games. When I listen to Yankee games, I want to finish every line they say with "Derek, can I lick your nuts?"
Who would you recommend do the Final Four games? "Man to Man" Rafferty? Walton?
Kruk has grown on me -- I wasn't a big fan at first, but he's kind of fun and he doesn't take himself too seriously, and we need a few more of those type of guys in sports.
I was trying to think of my least favorite sportscasters and, oddly enough, they're all play-by-play guys. Dick Enberg kills me because he's too schmaltzy and has basically lost his edge (kind of like Keith Jackson, who seems to make mistakes largely because he can't see the field anymore).
By my top two are Brent Musberger and Joe Buck (well, used to be Jim Lampley, but all he does not is boxing and battling legal problems). Musberger drives me nuts -- his delivery, the whole thing. He's the only guy that makes me consider watching another game. And let's be honest, most people care a lot more about who's playing than who's announcing.
Joe Buck lost me with his sanctimonious reaction to the Randy Moss faux-moon of the Packer crowd. And now Buck is everywhere. This is not a good thing.
As to who should replace Packer. The Sports Guy recently did a column on how much he hates Packer and pointed out how great Gus Johnson is -- so I started thinking about it and Gus Johnson is pretty great. Very excitable and seems to love the game (think Vitale with a little less screaming), and I like Raftery (sp?) as well. I know some people can't stand him, but he entertains me.
And finally, hats off to Reshawn Terry. That is a great response.
I was trying to think of my least favorite sportscasters and, oddly enough, they're all play-by-play guys. Dick Enberg kills me because he's too schmaltzy and has basically lost his edge (kind of like Keith Jackson, who seems to make mistakes largely because he can't see the field anymore).
By my top two are Brent Musberger and Joe Buck (well, used to be Jim Lampley, but all he does not is boxing and battling legal problems). Musberger drives me nuts -- his delivery, the whole thing. He's the only guy that makes me consider watching another game. And let's be honest, most people care a lot more about who's playing than who's announcing.
Joe Buck lost me with his sanctimonious reaction to the Randy Moss faux-moon of the Packer crowd. And now Buck is everywhere. This is not a good thing.
As to who should replace Packer. The Sports Guy recently did a column on how much he hates Packer and pointed out how great Gus Johnson is -- so I started thinking about it and Gus Johnson is pretty great. Very excitable and seems to love the game (think Vitale with a little less screaming), and I like Raftery (sp?) as well. I know some people can't stand him, but he entertains me.
And finally, hats off to Reshawn Terry. That is a great response.
I used to like Berman, but his schtick has gotten beyond old. I just don't want to hear any more Hotel California references.
Sterling is certainly horrible, and I agree that Musburger sucks as well. However, doesn't BBD have some strange affinity for "Big Event Brent"?
As to who I'd have replace, I know a lot of other people dislike him, but I'm a Vitale fan. Essentially because he's the opposite of Packer. He is pure joy and enthusiasm for the game, and I don't think its put on. I think he just really loves basketball. I'm really neither here nor there with Raftery. He's fine. I don't think there's really a college hoops guy who brings a material benefit to watching the games. How about this - a final four announced by Marv Albert and Dick Vitale? I'd enjoy that...
I don't really get the Gus Johnson phenomenon. I mean, he's fine, and some of his game ending calls are amusing, but I don't really love watching his games or anything. And actually, I think that Kevin Harlan over-excites even more than Gus Johnson.
Finally, with respect to the title of the post, the missing word is "Billy." "Billy" Packer. What? You were expecting something different?
Sterling is certainly horrible, and I agree that Musburger sucks as well. However, doesn't BBD have some strange affinity for "Big Event Brent"?
As to who I'd have replace, I know a lot of other people dislike him, but I'm a Vitale fan. Essentially because he's the opposite of Packer. He is pure joy and enthusiasm for the game, and I don't think its put on. I think he just really loves basketball. I'm really neither here nor there with Raftery. He's fine. I don't think there's really a college hoops guy who brings a material benefit to watching the games. How about this - a final four announced by Marv Albert and Dick Vitale? I'd enjoy that...
I don't really get the Gus Johnson phenomenon. I mean, he's fine, and some of his game ending calls are amusing, but I don't really love watching his games or anything. And actually, I think that Kevin Harlan over-excites even more than Gus Johnson.
Finally, with respect to the title of the post, the missing word is "Billy." "Billy" Packer. What? You were expecting something different?
As if on cue, Billy Packer accused Charlie Rose of 'fagging' out in an interview last weekend. I heard his job might be in jeopardy.
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