Sportsmeat

Outside Thunder, I don't think there are too many Duke fans among the Sportsmeat readership and bloggership.

Regardless, a number of you may remember a scrub named Reggie Love who would come into games a few years ago, pick up a few quick fouls and go back to the bench. Anyway, he's now fetching coffee and playing hoops with Barack Obama as Obama's personal aide.

Here's the story.

And yes, sadly, after a protracted absence that's about all I have for now. I started a protracted piece on how to fix the Mets but I started to bore even myself and, really, it's pretty simple:

-) Move Pelfrey to the bullpen and Heilman to the rotation
-) Get a power arm for the bullpen
-) Pray to God/gods/whatever that Alou and Pedro stay healthy and Delgrado remembers how to hit
-) Don't let Luis "GIDP" Castillo swing away with a man on first
-) And, for 2009, get significantly younger

When the hometown paper starts making fun of your team in ways normally reserved for bloggers.

Kansas City Star poll: How will the Royals lose tonight?

Labels: kicks to the groin, royals

In the world of Sportsmeat, 6th grade humor occupies a special, sacred place that can never be erased or forgotten. So it is with great pleasure that I present, for those of you working today, a little something to brighten your day. For anyone who has ever signed a guest registry as "Adolf Oliver Kniples" or "Wanda Nailor," this one's for you.

A great nugget from Pat Forde's interview on Tuesday's Tony Kornheiser radio show: If you want to find out whether a second-semester freshman basketball player is planning to go to the NBA, just ask him what his favorite class is. That's what Forde did to Kevin Love at the Final Four. Love stammered and paused and eventually came up with "Sports and Masculinity." When Forde checked it out in the UCLA course catalogue, the class didn't exist. The sports info folks came up with another, similarly titled class in which Love might have been enrolled. But the more likely scenario is that he hadn't darkened the door of a lecture hall in a couple of months.

Also in the news:
From the Knicks to Newsday, the Dolans continue their quest to poison everything good in the New York metropolitan area. Best quote: "They're the only owners who could make you wish for Murdoch."

From a rerun of Cheers this morning:

Woody: I remember when my cousin moved to the big city, Terre Haute. He came back with his head between his legs.

Sam: You mean his tail between his legs.

Woody: No, I mean his head. Crane accident.

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In other brief notes, I know I'm not objective about the whole thing, but I think the Pats taping something like 5 games of defensive signals is a big deal. The NFL is saying it's not new information, but it is concrete evidence. And if the Pats lost a first-round pick for taping one game (the Jets earlier this year), shouldn't there be a similarly stiff penalty for taping 5 games? I don't see this as the double jeopardy situation the NFL is making it out to be. And I know everyone says that everyone tapes signals, but so far only one team has been caught.

But, as I said, I know I'm not objective when it comes to the Pats, so please tell me if I'm over-reacting here.

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How about home-court advantage in the NBA? So far in the second round, the home team is 10-0 after going 29-14 in the first round. No point here, just thought it was interesting.

Also amazing is what the Celts' D did to LeBron in the first two games. So far he is 8-for-42 from the field (for 33 points) with 17 turnovers. In his defense, he does have 14 rebounds and 15 assists, but still ...

In which Budds answers all the questions you were afraid to ask.

Reader(s?) - So what's the deal, are you guys still alive?

Yes. Still alive.

R - Why no posts?

Well, we have jobs and stuff -- yards to mow, dogs to walk, that sort of thing. Some of us have new jobs (Congrats E.J. and Thunder, and Snoop too). On top of that, I haven't watched a sporting event start-to-finish in about a year, so I don't feel all that qualified to comment. E.J. is more qualified, although Thunder seems to question that. But don't worry, they're still friends I think.

R - So if you're not qualified to write about sports, why don't you write about something else?

Not a bad idea. For instance, I'm fascinated that my dog, who only eats two meals a day, seems determined to eat them as quickly as possible. So he really only spends one minute eating in a 24-hour period. Me, personally? I'd savor that kibble. But that's the extent of my thoughts on the topic. Not much of a blog post, see?

R - Well, I'm a reader. I'm literate. Let me write. Let me keep Sportsmeat alive.

OK, again, not a bad idea. If you want Sportsmeat posting privileges, shoot me an e-mail or put it in the comments section. I'm cool with that.

R - On second thought, I have a job too. I'd probably slack off like you guys. Shouldn't we just let Sportsmeat die with dignity?

Well, I'm not quite ready to end it. I'm still anxious to write about my first foray into fantasy baseball (the Jersey Jughandles are in 9th place and climbing, baby). And what will I do when I get the urge to write the next act of the Roger Clemens musical? You know the part where he hits on Miley Cyrus and gets punched by her achy-breaky daddy? What then?