Sportsmeat

ESPN's Barry Melrose has apologized for his recent comment about the Newark hockey arena -- "Don't go outside if you have a wallet or anything else, because the area around the arena is just horrible" -- a comment that, by Jersey insult standards, is pretty mild. While I do appreciate Mayor Cory Booker sticking up for his city, Melrose might have been justified if he had indeed been pickpocketed or harassed in Newark. I mean, it happens. But he never even went to the arena, let alone to the area outside it.
In retaliation, I'm trying to come up with an insult to Melrose's hometown, which, according to Wikipedia, is Kelvington, Saskatchewan, a thriving metropolis of nearly 900 hearty souls that I clearly have never visited. But I hear the women there don't shave their armpits, and their boots smell like apple cider vinegar. Oh, and I wouldn't walk down the street there if your hat has antlers because somebody might shoot you.
I'll apologize tomorrow.

Labels: melrose, mullets, tumbleweeds