Sportsmeat

Some random thoughts in the form of one post.

• Discussion Question: Is Emmitt Smith the worst analyst ever? This question was prompted by his incredibly douchebaggy "offer" to "let" Adrian Peterson ask "the all-time leading rusher" any advice after this week's MNF game. To AP's credit, he has much better on-screen presence (and grammar) than Emmitt. Perhaps he was a grammar major.

Note how Steve Young starts laughing, thinking Emmitt's "offer" is a joke, then stops when he realizes that Emmitt is being serious.

Other examples of Emmitt's analytical shortcomings:

The Texans are a "fortible" opponent that should not be "slipped" on. It confuses Stu Scott so much that he goes cross-eyed for a second. At least I think that's the reason...


The NFC West is one of the weakest conferences in the NFC. Also, Alex Smith has to learn three different offenses every year.

Those are all that haven't been removed by ESPN. However, Awful Announcing and The Angry T credit the following gems to ES:

"[Adrian Peterson] is redefining the way teams defend the running ability."

"If you want to stay perfect, you cannot go undefeated with a blemish on your record."

On whether the Cowboys are on the same level as the Pats and the Colts:
"The Dallas Cowboys are not far behind. They are a distant third. They're close but they're not quite there yet."

On Randy Moss:
"You can't change the stripes on a leopard." [stated more than once]

• After Serbia's recent loss to Greece in international play, Darko Milicic was angry. I woulda never guessed it, but you don't want to see Darko Angry.

• Did you know that an NHL player just got a 30 game suspension? I had no idea, and I've watched Sportscenter multiple times this week. Just shows that the NHL has really slipped. Anyhow, clips like this are a good reason to watch:

• Finally, if you are not reading Agent Zero's blog, you are doing yourself a disservice. He's brutally honest, funny, and legitimately insightful. Check it out.

NFL Picks Time

That was festive.

Here are the games:

PATS -22 Phins

VIKINGS -7 Skins

Browns -3 BENGALS

JAGS -13.5 Raiders

BT takes Pats, Skins, Browns and Raiders

BBD takes Phins, Vikings, Browns and Raiders.

EJ wants to elaborate a bit. He says, "I'll take the Dolphins - how much fun would 0-14 vs. 14-0 have been? I have to say, though, I wasn't that upset that the Dolphins won. It's hard to root against an 0-13 team, especially when they're playing Ray Lewis.

"Redskins - this is probably not a smart pick, but I don't see how the Vikes are winning with Tavaris Jackson and Brooks Bollinger. [Ed. note - the "This team can't be as good/bad as they look" logic nearly always leads to an incorrect pick. I know from experience.]

"Bengals - no way the Browns go 11-5, though for some reason I can palate 10-6; plus the Bengals aren't THIS bad, so this is an even-out game (is this shaping up as 0-4 week for me or what?). [Ed. note - see Ed. note above.]

"Jags - I'm on the Jags' bandwagon, no reason to jump off now, though that is a big spread for a team with a good D (Raiders) and a team that doesn't score a ton (Jags). I'm counting on a 21-7 win there."

Labels: Agent Zero, Awful Announcing, Darko Milicic, Emmitt Smith, Gilbert Arenas, Hockey Fights, Prognostications