Friday, June 29, 2007
12th grade English, revisited
This week’s matchup of an epic hero and a modern-day ballplayer:
Career trajectory
Beowulf got his start defending a mead hall where the monster Grendel had killed a bunch of drunken townspeople. Randy Wolf got his start pitching for the Phillies in Veterans Stadium, in front of a bunch of drunken townspeople, including some who wore wolf masks in his honor. Wolf left Philly for a big free agent contract in his home state. Beowulf eventually returned to his homeland to become king. King trumps No. 3 starter. Advantage: Beowulf.
Skills
Beowulf kills Grendel by ripping off his arm and later beheads Grendel’s mother (dubbed Grendelmombeast by my buddy Jeff in Mrs. Campbell’s 12th grade English class), so he’s basically the monster-slaying equivalent of a power pitcher. Wolf, on the other hand, is versatile, with five pitches in his arsenal and impeccable control. He also hit three home runs in a season once, not bad for a pitcher. Advantage: Randy Wolf.
Injuries
Randy Wolf is throwing well in his second season after Tommy John surgery. Beowulf recovered from the wounds of his Grendel and Grendelmombeast clashes but eventually died from injuries sustained while slaying a dragon. Slight advantage to Randy Wolf.
Legacy
Wolf likely will be remembered as a solid if unremarkable starting pitcher (career record so far: 78-66). Beowulf’s story, more than 1,000 years after its first telling, is still skimmed by thousands of high school kids each year. Advantage: Beowulf.
Summary
Beowulf was the Roger Clemens of monster slayers. He kept coming back to show his might and soak in the glory, and although he made one comeback too many, he still lives on as a legend in his game. Randy Wolf’s career, according to Baseball Reference, compares favorably with those of Earl Whitehill and Jim Lonborg. Not exactly dragon slayers on the mound. So Beowulf wins the head-to-head showdown.
Randy Wolf vs. Beowulf
Career trajectory
Beowulf got his start defending a mead hall where the monster Grendel had killed a bunch of drunken townspeople. Randy Wolf got his start pitching for the Phillies in Veterans Stadium, in front of a bunch of drunken townspeople, including some who wore wolf masks in his honor. Wolf left Philly for a big free agent contract in his home state. Beowulf eventually returned to his homeland to become king. King trumps No. 3 starter. Advantage: Beowulf.
Skills
Beowulf kills Grendel by ripping off his arm and later beheads Grendel’s mother (dubbed Grendelmombeast by my buddy Jeff in Mrs. Campbell’s 12th grade English class), so he’s basically the monster-slaying equivalent of a power pitcher. Wolf, on the other hand, is versatile, with five pitches in his arsenal and impeccable control. He also hit three home runs in a season once, not bad for a pitcher. Advantage: Randy Wolf.
Injuries
Randy Wolf is throwing well in his second season after Tommy John surgery. Beowulf recovered from the wounds of his Grendel and Grendelmombeast clashes but eventually died from injuries sustained while slaying a dragon. Slight advantage to Randy Wolf.
Legacy
Wolf likely will be remembered as a solid if unremarkable starting pitcher (career record so far: 78-66). Beowulf’s story, more than 1,000 years after its first telling, is still skimmed by thousands of high school kids each year. Advantage: Beowulf.
Summary
Beowulf was the Roger Clemens of monster slayers. He kept coming back to show his might and soak in the glory, and although he made one comeback too many, he still lives on as a legend in his game. Randy Wolf’s career, according to Baseball Reference, compares favorably with those of Earl Whitehill and Jim Lonborg. Not exactly dragon slayers on the mound. So Beowulf wins the head-to-head showdown.
Labels: 12th grade English, beowulf, grendel, randy wolf
# posted by Budds @ 11:41 AM 
