Sportsmeat

David Tyree

2008-09-03T21:56:00.002-04:00

Well, the sports world is finally ready to kick back into high gear, what with the very best sport on the planet coming in less than 24 hours. The Sportsmeat bloggers, however, are in midseason form, as we are late in getting any predictions or game picks out to you. Hopefully, those will come tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm here to help prepare you for the season.

First, a recap of last year's picks. Your faithful bloggers ... sucked. We picked exactly 50% of division winners (including all three of us hitting on the Pats, Colts and Chargers, and missing on most all others), and just 44% of all of the playoff teams. BBD won the divisional competion, nailing 5 of 8 (including the Packers) and BT "won" the total playoff picks, hitting 6 of 12. EJ wins a pride point for being the only one to pick a SB contestant (the Pats - though I only didn't pick the Pats as a way to be different. How dumb.) Nobody picked Tom Brady for MVP or Offensive POY (aren't those usually different players? Brady swept.) Likewise, everyone whiffed on Bob Sanders. I hit Adrian Peterson on Offensive Rookie, and everyone missed on Patrick Willis (though I knew he was going to be a beast. What was I thinking picking Gaines Adams??)

Now, some tidbits to get you ready to go. First, SI.com is unquestionably the place to go for sports analysis these days, and that remains true with Peter King's schmaltzy-yet-informative stuff (as well as Don Banks). However, ESPN has a nice feature with around-the-league blogs of training camps. I'm never that into the preseason, but they deliver nice bite sized nuggets on every team in the league.

A quick DYK: Did you know that Brian Westbrook's younger brother is in the league? Its true. He's a cornerback on the Redskins' practice squad. His name? Byron Westbrook. For realz. I don't even know how to jock about that. At least they aren't both named George.

During the preseason, Eagles tackle Tra Thomas blamed a back ailment on ... James Patterson?

This story about recently-cut Lion Tatum Bell swiping two bags full of newly-signed Lion Rudi Johnson's boxers would be funny on its own. But pretty much ever quote is hilarious. Bell seems to be a real treat. In one article shortly before his cut, he bashes Mike Martz and Wilber Montgomery, then blames his horrible preseason on the Lions O-Line.

A few quick notes on things to look for this year:

Look for the Giants to come back to Earth. The simple fact is they were about the 8th to 10th best team last year, and got real hot when it counted. Even when you look at the playoffs, Eli wasn't anything great. However, here's hoping he continues to improve. The Cowboys are the team to beat in the NFL East, and the entire NFC for that matter.
That said, keep an eye out for the Saints to return to the form of 2006, and for Drew Brees to be the second best quarterback in the league.
Adrian Peterson will show that last year was not a fluke.
Calvin Johnson will emerge as a legitimate top 6 or 7 wide receiver.
The Pats will again be the best team in the league. Brady and Moss won't replicate their astronomical numbers of last year, but the team will still finish with 13 or 14 regular season wins.
Brett Favre will not lead the Jets to the playoffs.
This will be the year that the Jags finally knock the Colts from the top of whatever AFC division they are in.

More tomorrow.

Blast From the Past

2008-07-18T13:43:00.002-04:00

Did anybody else notice:
1) The British Open was this weekend or
2) That Norman is on top of the leader board after 36 holes with David Duval one stroke back after 31 holes.

I did not even know these guys were still playing.

Mickelson is +9 over through 15 in the second round and Mr. John Daly is +25 with four holes still to play. He is in danger of not breaking 90 today.

Tennis and Mets

2008-07-09T21:25:00.006-04:00

Hey. For those who don't know, I moved to Philly. If anyone wants to come see a Phils game, let me know....

Trivia Question: Three National League players rank in the top 10 in the League in both runs and RBIs. They are Lance Berkman, Chase Utley, and this player who garnered no all-star consideration whatsoever.

So I figured EJ was likely to post about this, but since he didn't, I will belatedly. On Sunday, I had the run of the house to myself. The wife was gone, I had cold beer and white cheddar popcorn on hand, and my beloved Mets were on TV. I settled into the couch, and at the end of the inning flipped over to Wimbledon. From that point on, I only saw the Mets game in 2 minute and 2 second spurts. As a casual tennis fan, I was glued to the match. Here's why:

- First, I know enough to know that Federer and Nadal are the unquestioned best players alive. #3 is a long way off. Moreover, in the last year, there have been minor cracks in Federer's fortress of dominance. On top of all that, Nadal destroyed Federer in the French (granted, not Federer's preferred surface), followed that up by rolling through a grass court tournament leading up to Wimbledon, and owned a somewhat surprising 9-4 record vs. Federer in finals matches (a large portion of which were on clay). Simply put, if you were choosing two players to watch play, there would be no choice but these two.

- The match was particularly good for men's tennis. For everyone who complains that tennis has turned into a serving contest, this is Exhibit A that thrilling men's tennis still exists. These two continuously put together extended, entertaining rallies.

- Like boxing, I think that styles make a tennis match. In so many ways, Federer and Nadal are great opposites. Nadal runs all over the court and tries to knock the fuzz off the ball, while Federer pirouettes about, slicing and carving meticulously angled shots. Nadal stomps and grunts and squints and pouts, while Federer's biggest show of emotion is a tiny fist pump. Nadal dresses like a gay house painter, while Federer looks like he's going to the country club, but only for brunch. Nadal picks his ass 3,000 times per hour, while Federer ... doesn't.

- The truly memorable part of the match wasn't just that these are two great champions going 5 sets. Its that they are two champions going 5 sets and playing exquisitely well throughout. Even in the 5th set, they were each making shot after shot, and as John McEnroe pointed out, they both showed almost no signs of fatigue. But the true zenith of the match was the fourth set tiebreaker. With it tied, Nadal made a passing forehand on a dead sprint that my dad (a tennis afficianado) considers one of the five best shots that he's seen in his lifetime. Not to be outdone, in the ensuing championship point, Federer stroked an exacting backhand that passed Nadal and dipped in inches from both the sideline and the baseline. It was at that point that the announcers began discussing the magnitude of the event, and making earnest comments about how they literally considered themselves lucky to be watching live.

- A true sign of the greatness of the competition was the end. For whatever reason, I have an affinity for Federer and an inexplicable dislike for Nadal. I was rooting heavily for Federer throughout. By the end, though, when Nadal served out the final game, I couldn't be bitter. It was just too good. Nadal was too good, and he certainly deserved to win. All in all, an outstanding afternoon (and evening) of sport, resulting in me being thoroughly drunk and covered in white cheddar dust.

Don't look now, but the Phillies have opened the door and the Mets have meekly stumbled into the playoff picture. They took 3 of 4 this weekend from the Phools, and are going on 5 straight as I write (I better not jinx). They look to be heading into the break in a reasonable position. Considering that Fernando Tatis, Damion Easley, Marlon Anderson and the corpses of Luis Castillo, Brian Schneider and Endy Chavez are 6 of the 11 Mets with the most plate appearances, that's not so bad.

David Wright should be an all star. He has more hits, doubles, triples, homers, runs, RBIs, walks, a better OBP and better slugging percentage than Aramis Ramirez, all while playing in a lesser offense. Plus, he's the reigning gold glove holder. All that said, he shouldn't win the vote-off for the last spot. That should go to Pat Burrell, who has been absolutely mashing the ball all year long. Corey Hart shouldn't get a vote.

Johan Santana, though he hasn't thrown too many absolute gems, has been solid for the Mets. He's 6th in the NL in strikeouts and WHIP, and 5th in ERA. The problem is that the Mets have let him down. He's gotten 4.73 runs/9 innings pitched in support, leading to his 7-7 record. While that doesn't sound horrible when compared to Barry Zito's 3.4 runs of support, the surprising stat is that 3 Mets starters rank in the top 6 in support! Pelfrey, Maine and Perez all receive at least 6.2 runs/9 IP, and have only taken advantage of that to the tune of 21 wins and 17 losses.

Unsurprisingly, the answer to the trivia question is a Met. Although he's been a constant disappointment to me all year, seemingly never coming through in big situations when I'm watching, Carlos Beltran is 5th in the league with 64 runs scored and 8th in the league with 62 RBIs.

It was bound to happen sooner or later ...

2008-07-09T15:02:00.002-04:00

You're an NBA player and you have enough kids -- spread among a number of different mothers with varying level of "talent," both athletic and, likely, otherwise -- one is bound to become a big-time college prospect.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you Shawn Kemp Jr.

Today's soccer news

2008-06-25T16:29:00.003-04:00

Turkey-Germany, Euro 2008

Not sure if this will make the highlights, but from my perspective, it will be the game's most memorable moment. About two-thirds of the way through the opening half, with the score tied 1-1, a German player and an a Turkish player collided on a header, drawing blood on both sides. The German was cut on the face, so they took him to the sideline and immediately began threading the needle to stitch up his cut. The Turkish player had the benefit of being cut near the back of his head, an area covered by hair, so the Turkish trainer made a quick, efficient fix. He spread the hair, swabbed off some blood, and stapled the midfielder's scalp on worldwide TV. Classic. Who says soccer players aren't tough?

McCain/Schilling Ticket in November?

2008-06-21T01:23:00.002-04:00

Life is good for Boston sports fans. Kevin Garnett proclaimed on Wednesday that he “knocked the bully’s ass out!,” Big Baby bared all at Thursday’s parade, JD Drew whipped the Philly Fanatics among a chorus of boos, Bill Belichik has a new girlfriend, and Big Grill named his second child after our jet-setting quarterback. Not surprisingly, Curt Shilling tried to steal some of the limelight by announcing that he’s having season ending shoulder surgery, likely ending his career.

I’ve never been a big fan of Big Curt’s promotional activity, but I’m of the belief this guy deserves to be a Hall of Famer.

A look at Schilling’s resume:
- In his 20 year career, Schilling had 216 wins and 146 losses (.597 winning percentage) in 436 career starts
- 3.46 career ERA vs. 4.41 ERA for the league (Note: I got this stat off of baseball-reference.com which ‘park-adjusts’ the league ERA. I don’t know the assumptions they made in this calculation)
- Eight 15 win seasons (only three 20 win seasons)
- 3116 strikeouts in 3261 innings – 14th most strikeouts of all time
- 3 seasons with 300+ strikeouts (only matched by Nolan Ryan, Randy Johnson, and Sandy Koufax)
- 6 time All-Star
- 711 walks in 3261 innings – led the league in K/BB ratio of for six straight years and second all time in this category
- Ranked in the top 10 in ERA and WHIP in 10 different seasons. Led the league in wins twice, in strikeouts three times, in fewest walks per nine innings twice, in complete games five times, and in innings pitched three times. Top five of Cy Young voting on 4 occasions.

Schilling arguably ranks among the top postseason pitchers of all time:
- 3 world series rings
- 11-2 in 19 career postseason starts
- 2.23 ERA in the postseason

On the downside, Schilling never won a Cy Young or MVP, didn’t win 250 games, and only won 20 games on 3 occasions. Many also knock his durability in that he made 30 starts in only 7 seasons (and he's a die hard Republican).

I heard a few people argue that his stats are similar to Orel Hersheiser and Jerry Koosman, two pitchers that failed to gain election by the BBWAA. Koosman only had a .515 win percentage. Orel’s only trump card is the fact he had a better ERA (3.48). Oh, and Big Schill pitched more frequently to Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, and Mark McGwire after their head’s exploded.

In the last ten years, Nolan Ryan is the only starting pitcher has been elected to the Hall of Fame (I consider Eckersley a closer). With the exception of wins, Schillings stats look comparable to Carlton, Seaver, Ryan and Palmer, names considered the gold standard of the past generation.
Carlton – .574 win percentage, 1.25 WHIP, 0.79 K/IP, ERA better than the league by 0.48 (see note above about the league ERA)
Seaver - .603 win percentage, 1.12 WHIP, 0.76 K/IP, ERA better than the league by 0.78
Ryan - .526 win percentage, 1.25 WHIP, 1.06 K/IP, ERA better than league by 0.37
Palmer – .638 win percentage, 1.18 WHIP, 0.56 K/IP, ERA better than league by 0.73
Schilling - .597 win percentage, 1.14 WHIP, 0.96 K/IP, ERA better than league by 0.95

My standard for the Hall of Fame has always been that a player must be among the top players at his position for 10 years. In my book, Schilling meets this standard. What do you think?

How does a football-kicking mule not make this list?

2008-06-18T16:31:00.000-04:00

The American Film Institute came out with its Top 10 genre movies today, including sports. Here is their list:

1. Raging Bull; 2. Rocky; 3. Pride of the Yankees; 4. Hoosiers; 5. Bull Durham; 6. The Hustler; 7. Caddyshack; 8. Breaking Away; 9. National Velvet; 10. Jerry Maguire.

I’ve got mull this over a little – and sadly, I’ve never seen Raging Bull, which is a major omission on my part – but I’m still inclined to go with Bull Durham as No. 1. But hey, kudos to AFI for putting Caddyshack on the list. Possible omissions include The Natural, Dodgeball and Gus (a Disney movie about a mule that kicked field goals; I loved that one as a kid).

Your thoughts? Your Top 10?

I Have Always Liked Ken Oberkfell

2008-06-17T16:24:00.001-04:00

For me, the Mets have a bigger problem than their inability to sustain momentum or win baseball games. They’re becoming an unlikable club. The players aren’t the major issue here—they are on the field, where Alou and Duque can’t stay healthy, where Delgado has gotten old quickly, where Perez can’t find any consistency and Aaron Heilman is just praying he doesn’t serve up a home run—but not in the likeability factor. By and large, they’re pretty good dudes. I dig Reyes’ energy, Wright’s professionalism and humility, etc. Wagner could use a muzzle sometimes, but at least he entertains.

But the front office is a bona fide mess. They handled the Willie fiasco very poorly—letting him, his coaches and the players twist in the wind for far too long, which is an indication of indecision or disagreement between upper management. On the upside, at least they finally made a decision. On the downside, I think Willie is taking an unfair fall for a flawed team that was exposed at the end of last season and overrated coming into this one.

I already can’t stand the current Jets team—I’d take another bad season to get Mangini and his Gestapo fired. I need to be able to freely root for the Mets. I think that’s why I advocate that they dump all the old salaries after this season (except for maybe Pedro, who’s as sturdy as a straw house in a tornado but still very fun to watch) and get younger in left field, first base, second base (unlikely considering Castillo is signed for a few more years) and the bullpen. The team will still have star power (Santana, Beltran, Reyes, Wright) and it will add energy. Inexperience can be frustrating, but also exciting.

As for the front office, the Wilpons need to make sure they’re not treading on Peter Angelos’ turf and let Minaya run the team. If he stinks—and his early success has been followed by mix results, at best—then can him. But at least let everyone do their job.

Tiger, Phil, Adam

2008-06-06T09:00:00.003-04:00

An argument against the "dream threesome"

When the USGA announced that Tiger, Phil, and Adam Scott, the world's top three players, would be matched up for the first two rounds of next week's U.S. Open, it might have seemed like a golf fan's dream. But to anyone who has ever been in the gallery of a major championship, it's a nightmare.

Tiger and Phil routinely draw the biggest Thursday and Friday galleries, and they're almost always spaced out by a few hours so that ambitious fans can walk the course with both of them. But some portion of those people make a choice -- walk with Tiger in the morning, camp out under a tree in the afternoon and see Phil for a hole or two; or vice versa. That means that if you're not 6-foot-3 or you don't carry one of those golf periscope things that Phil's dad has, you still have a fighting chance to see some shots. Come Saturday and Sunday, the galleries get a little deeper, and all bets are off. But for the first two days of a major, every paying customer can see a little bit of Tiger, Phil, or both. With this threesome, it's like a Sunday-Tiger-or-Phil-in-the-last-group gallery every day.

OK, so it's not about the 30,000 people seeing the U.S. Open in person. It's about the millions watching from home. And this is the USGA sticking it to the TV folks, right? Well, I don't buy that either. If you watch on TV, you're going to see every shot Tiger and Phil hit, regardless of what groups they're in. And if you have a job, you're not watching Thursday and Friday live anyway. You're going to watch the replay or the highlights, in which case again, there's no Tiger-Phil shortage.

So what is this good for? Building a false sense of tension or drama. The interpersonal thing -- Do they hate each other or do they actually like each other? Didn't they play ping-pong at the President's Cup? Will they talk? Will Tiger smile? Will he get inside Phil's head? Will their caddies joust with putters for the honor of their bosses? If anything, that's for TV, not for the good of the tournament.

I'd love to see Tiger and Phil together on Sunday. Or Saturday. But Thursday and Friday? It just seems like hype that the world's best tournament doesn't need.

Sam Cassell Has Gotta be an Alien

2008-06-05T14:16:00.002-04:00

I haven’t watched a ton of the NBA playoffs, but lack of knowledge has never stopped me before, so here goes a breakdown of the NBA Playoffs between the Celtics and Lakers, which is ABC’s dream and has prompted every sports news agency to unload old photos of big men in short shorts.

Point Guard: Rajon Rondo, Celtics vs. Derek Fisher, Lakers
Fisher is both an excellent playoff performer and a strong defender. He should give Rondo problems in terms of disrupting set plays but generally lacks the speed to stay in front of Rondo on drives. Look for the Celtics to go to Paul Pierce to bring the ball up the floor in crucial situations.
Advantage: Lakers

Shooting Guard: Ray Allen, Celtics vs. Kobe Bryant, Lakers
This is the major issue for the Celtics. Kobe is a lockdown (if sometimes inconsistent) defender who can completely shut down Allen, while Allen’s defensive prime is behind him (and it wasn’t that prime to begin with). Expect to see some limited Allen and a lot of James Posey in this series.
Advantage: Lakers

Small Forward: Paul Pierce, Celtics vs. Vladimir Radmanovic, Lakers
To be honest, I don’t really know much about Radmonovic. I know he can shoot pretty well but that’s about it. The fact alone favors Pierce, who I still think should be the Celts’ No. 1 option on offense and should be able to control this matchup. I do think, however, the Lakers will go big for much of this series (meaning good minutes for Luke Walton) just so the Celts can’t put Pierce on Kobe and then play Allen on either Radmonovic (despite the height disparity) or Sasha Vujacic.
Advantage: Celtics

Power Forward: Kevin Garnett, Celtics vs. Lamar Odom, Lakers
Odom is a very versatile performer but doesn’t do much defensively that should bother Garnett, while Garnett should be able to dominate the low post. The Lakers were very impressive against the Spurs but Tim Duncan had a big series. And while Garnett is not the offensive performer Duncan is, he’s still pretty good.
Advantage: Celtics

Center: Kedrick Perkins, Celtics vs. Pau Gasol, Lakers
Kendrick is a rebounding, defensive role player; Gasol is a scoring, solid No. 2 option. I expect Gasol to do his best to pull Perkins away from the hoop, hoping to take advantage of Gasol’s versatility and open up the lane for Kobe. The Lakers will be best if Garnett is the only one in the middle to man Kobe’s drives (and thus rack up early fouls).
Advantage: Lakers

Bench: Bunch of Celtics guys vs. Bunch of Lakers guys
The Lakers bench has been the more celebrated but the Celtics isn’t bad and boasts the most alien-looking guy in this series in Sam Cassell. Still, between Walton and Ronny Turiaf, the Lakers ability to go big — and with Vujacic, to bring in a shooter — gives them the edge here.
Advantage: Lakers

I could go into coaches but that ruins what we have going here, which 4 edges for the Lakers and 2 for the Celtics. It fits perfectly into a prediction: Lakers 4, Celtics 2. All that said, I’ll be rooting for the Celts so I hope I’m wrong.

Rasheed Wallace has not conceded the Eastern Conference Finals

2008-06-04T09:17:00.003-04:00

From the "If sports were politics" dept. ...

"While this postseason was long, I am so proud we stayed the course together. Well, all of us except Flip – See ya, Flip.

"And I want you to know, I will be making no decisions tonight. Yes, the Celtics won some games. Four games, in fact. And some of y’all might say that four is all you need to win a best-of-seven series. But we came too far to just give up that easily.

"I am committed to uniting our league. So we move forward, into the Finals. The Lakers. The Celtics. And the Pistons.

"A lot of people are asking ‘What does Sheed want? What does he want?’

"Well, Sheed wants what he’s always fought for in this whole season. I want what I’ve always wanted. I want to be the greatest power forward in history. I want to be able to play three days a month and still get paid. I want somebody to come up with a pill that will get rid of that white spot in the back of my ‘fro. And, more than anything in this world, I want to…

"Dance!"

[Circle forms and Sheed does The Sheed]

Whither Reggie Love ...

2008-05-30T11:25:00.002-04:00

Outside Thunder, I don't think there are too many Duke fans among the Sportsmeat readership and bloggership.

Regardless, a number of you may remember a scrub named Reggie Love who would come into games a few years ago, pick up a few quick fouls and go back to the bench. Anyway, he's now fetching coffee and playing hoops with Barack Obama as Obama's personal aide.

Here's the story.

And yes, sadly, after a protracted absence that's about all I have for now. I started a protracted piece on how to fix the Mets but I started to bore even myself and, really, it's pretty simple:

-) Move Pelfrey to the bullpen and Heilman to the rotation
-) Get a power arm for the bullpen
-) Pray to God/gods/whatever that Alou and Pedro stay healthy and Delgrado remembers how to hit
-) Don't let Luis "GIDP" Castillo swing away with a man on first
-) And, for 2009, get significantly younger

You know things are bad...

2008-05-29T13:04:00.002-04:00

When the hometown paper starts making fun of your team in ways normally reserved for bloggers.

Kansas City Star poll: How will the Royals lose tonight?

Eileen Dover

2008-05-23T10:54:00.002-04:00

In the world of Sportsmeat, 6th grade humor occupies a special, sacred place that can never be erased or forgotten. So it is with great pleasure that I present, for those of you working today, a little something to brighten your day. For anyone who has ever signed a guest registry as "Adolf Oliver Kniples" or "Wanda Nailor," this one's for you.

Sports and masculinity?

2008-05-14T09:23:00.004-04:00

A great nugget from Pat Forde's interview on Tuesday's Tony Kornheiser radio show: If you want to find out whether a second-semester freshman basketball player is planning to go to the NBA, just ask him what his favorite class is. That's what Forde did to Kevin Love at the Final Four. Love stammered and paused and eventually came up with "Sports and Masculinity." When Forde checked it out in the UCLA course catalogue, the class didn't exist. The sports info folks came up with another, similarly titled class in which Love might have been enrolled. But the more likely scenario is that he hadn't darkened the door of a lecture hall in a couple of months.

Also in the news:
From the Knicks to Newsday, the Dolans continue their quest to poison everything good in the New York metropolitan area. Best quote: "They're the only owners who could make you wish for Murdoch."

Ode to The Rog

2008-05-09T12:04:00.002-04:00

From a rerun of Cheers this morning:

Woody: I remember when my cousin moved to the big city, Terre Haute. He came back with his head between his legs.

Sam: You mean his tail between his legs.

Woody: No, I mean his head. Crane accident.

--

In other brief notes, I know I'm not objective about the whole thing, but I think the Pats taping something like 5 games of defensive signals is a big deal. The NFL is saying it's not new information, but it is concrete evidence. And if the Pats lost a first-round pick for taping one game (the Jets earlier this year), shouldn't there be a similarly stiff penalty for taping 5 games? I don't see this as the double jeopardy situation the NFL is making it out to be. And I know everyone says that everyone tapes signals, but so far only one team has been caught.

But, as I said, I know I'm not objective when it comes to the Pats, so please tell me if I'm over-reacting here.

--

How about home-court advantage in the NBA? So far in the second round, the home team is 10-0 after going 29-14 in the first round. No point here, just thought it was interesting.

Also amazing is what the Celts' D did to LeBron in the first two games. So far he is 8-for-42 from the field (for 33 points) with 17 turnovers. In his defense, he does have 14 rebounds and 15 assists, but still ...

The Future of Sportsmeat

2008-05-08T09:19:00.002-04:00

In which Budds answers all the questions you were afraid to ask.

Reader(s?) - So what's the deal, are you guys still alive?

Yes. Still alive.

R - Why no posts?

Well, we have jobs and stuff -- yards to mow, dogs to walk, that sort of thing. Some of us have new jobs (Congrats E.J. and Thunder, and Snoop too). On top of that, I haven't watched a sporting event start-to-finish in about a year, so I don't feel all that qualified to comment. E.J. is more qualified, although Thunder seems to question that. But don't worry, they're still friends I think.

R - So if you're not qualified to write about sports, why don't you write about something else?

Not a bad idea. For instance, I'm fascinated that my dog, who only eats two meals a day, seems determined to eat them as quickly as possible. So he really only spends one minute eating in a 24-hour period. Me, personally? I'd savor that kibble. But that's the extent of my thoughts on the topic. Not much of a blog post, see?

R - Well, I'm a reader. I'm literate. Let me write. Let me keep Sportsmeat alive.

OK, again, not a bad idea. If you want Sportsmeat posting privileges, shoot me an e-mail or put it in the comments section. I'm cool with that.

R - On second thought, I have a job too. I'd probably slack off like you guys. Shouldn't we just let Sportsmeat die with dignity?

Well, I'm not quite ready to end it. I'm still anxious to write about my first foray into fantasy baseball (the Jersey Jughandles are in 9th place and climbing, baby). And what will I do when I get the urge to write the next act of the Roger Clemens musical? You know the part where he hits on Miley Cyrus and gets punched by her achy-breaky daddy? What then?

Random Stuff as April Ends

2008-04-30T14:04:00.000-04:00

It’s been a while so I thought I’d chime in on the four major sports. Please agree, disagree, start a new argument, etc., below. Anyway, here goes:

NFL Draft Thoughts:

All in all, a pretty boring draft. No big surprises, no Brady Quinn-like plummets down the first round. Still, I dig the draft. This has a lot to do with being a Jet fan, which means a) my team usually has a high pick and b) I’m looking for hope anywhere I can find it.

-) As to the Jets draft, they probably took the right player at No. 6 in Vernon Gholston, but I was really hoping Chris Long would fall to them. Also, workout wonders scare the crap out of me – which didn’t make me feel better about the Jets trading back into the first round for tight end Dustin Keller. They clearly thought the Giants might go for Keller and trade Shockey, but it obviously didn’t happen and the Jets probably could have stayed where they were and taken Keller. I do, however, like the pick of corner Dwight Lowery from San Jose State. (By the way, for that pick the Jets actually traded for their own selection. They originally traded out of No. 113 and, two deals later, ended up back there to pick Lowery. Odd.)

-) I know there are a lot of best draft debates going on, with most people picking the Chiefs. I’d make the argument, however, that trades you make factor into the draft you have, and while it was the right move to trade Jared Allen, he’s the reason they had so many picks. All that said, I’ll go with the Steelers, who got back-to-back steals in the draft’s best running back (Rashard Mendenhall, though I do like Jonathan Stewart a lot) and the best wideout (Limas Sweed, who I was hoping would be a Jet). Neither are locks for NFL success (Sweed catches the ball against his body too often) but they are two very good skill position players on an already very good team.

MLB Thoughts:

-) Not much here, except old players continue to get hurt because that’s what happens to old players. It’s why the Mets, the best collection of talent in the NL, won’t win the league but the Diamondbacks (very young) will. I do think, however, that the Mets can position themselves well for 2009 with a few moves – like putting Aaron Heilman in the rotation, promoting some power arms into the bullpen, handing the left-field job to Fernando Martinez. The big key will be replacing Carlos Delgado at first. Mark Teixiera would be perfect there but he’s going to command a lot of money (and the Yankees have a need at first as well).

NBA Thoughts:

-) I’ll bet the Mavs wished they had a guy like Devin Harris to defend Chris Paul in the playoffs. That was a bad trade from the get-go, though I can’t say I feel too bad for Jason Kidd, the most selfish un-selfish player I can think of.

-) On the flip side, I thought the Suns made the right move by trading for Shaq (though it clearly ignores my old player theory). I really thought that series would be closer – it seems I never learn my lesson by underestimating the Spurs.

NHL Thoughts:

-) I’m bummed the Caps lost, and that’s about all I have here. Otherwise, I pretty much root for the Canadian teams. I dig the Penguins, too. That team has too much history to leave Pittsburgh so any success will probably help. On that note, can the Stars move back to Minnesota? I know two professional teams in Minnesota seems counterintuitive, but this is hockey. No team from Texas should be competing for the Stanley Cup.

Penguin streaking: "regrettable" or victimless crime?

2008-04-29T16:08:00.002-04:00

On Saturday, loyal 'meater Joseph accused us of allowing the blog to die a slow, boring death. So in an effort to breathe some life into this corpse, I'm posting the latest hockey (yes, hockey Joe!) news from Scraton, Pa.:

Wilkes-Barre/Scranton hockey player caught streaking
The Associated Press
(AP) - The captain of the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins was charged with indecent exposure after a police officer saw him running naked on a downtown street early Sunday, and a teammate was arrested for public drunkenness.
(FULL STORY)

The player, Nathan Smith, was charged with misdemeanor counts of indecent exposure, open lewdness and disorderly conduct, as well as public drunkenness, according to the AP. In his apology, he called his actions -- prompted by a bet -- "regrettable."

Well, I'm guessing that every reader of Sportsmeat has been in a situation where this bet was on the table. And a few of us have been to Scranton. I don't remember ever having this bet on the table in Scranton, but I'd guess that the locale makes it a more attractive option, if for no other reason than to spice up a slow night. Criminal? Technically, I guess -- but if he wasn't stopping traffic or kicking in windows, I don't see it as much more than a prank.

At the very least, he should get a cameo on a future episode of The Office. Or Slapshot 4.

Hoy Wonder

2008-04-27T10:30:00.003-04:00

Two things that may be hard to believe:
First, the Eagles seem to think fans care what's happened to Bobby "Bounce Pass" Hoying since he left the NFL. Second, a grown man (and presumably a professional writer) used the "Webster's Dictionary defines..." lede. Click here if you want a flashback of watching a game with a paper bag over your head, or read my one-sentence summary: He's in real-estate, and he still sucks.

A Kobe Bryant One-line Mad-Lib

2008-04-25T13:37:00.006-04:00

"You shake the tree, a leopard's gonna fall out." -- Kobe Bryant on the trash-talking Nuggets.

Other things that might happen with that tree, courtesy of the Random Word Generator:
You pick the tree, a microphone's gonna fall out.
You document the tree, prey's gonna fall out.
You bump the tree, morphology's gonna fall out.
You bless the tree, an armrest's gonna fall out.
You civilize the tree, an archfiend's gonna fall out.
You chase the tree, heterodoxy's gonna fall out.
You distribute the tree, a propellant's gonna fall out.
You incise the tree, a draftee's gonna fall out.
You domineer the tree, a cogwheel's gonna fall out.
You suffocate the tree, a salamander's gonna fall out.

As a General Rule, Spin-offs Suck

2008-04-21T12:43:00.000-04:00

Best TV Spin-offs

So Joe and I were emailing and he openly wondered what the best spin-off in TV history is. He figured Frasier and, after some research, I have to back him up. I also discovered that most spin-offs are god awful.

To the point, my criteria for the list below is TV sitcoms and dramas (not game shows or reality shows or cartoons), and they were all shows that I’ve actually seen. (Apparently some people love Rhoda, but I have nothing to add on that one.)

Anyway, here it goes:

1. Frasier (Cheers)
2. Benson (Soap)
3. The Bionic Woman (Six Million Dollar Man)
4. Empty Nest (Golden Girls)
5. A Different World (Cosby Show)
6. The Facts of Life (Diff’rent Strokes)
7. Saved by the Bell: The College Years (Saved by the Bell)
8. Just the Ten of Us (Growing Pains)
9. Melrose Place (90210)
10. Booker (21 Jump Street)

Also deserving consideration, though not true spin-offs and thus not on the list, are the Muppet Show (derived from Sesame Street) and The Simpsons (which came from the Tracey Ullman Show).

In doing research for this post, I came across the following: The spin-off from “BJ and the Bear” was called “The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo.” If someone has seen this and can comment, it would be greatly appreciated.

Also, did anyone catch “The Tortellis”? The Cheers spin-off. I can’t say I remembered this at all.

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose and sometimes it rains ...

2008-04-11T09:59:00.002-04:00

The Meaters have put their not-so-mighty heads together and come up with some baseball predictions. We'll review at season's end unless I miss on every one, in which case I'll hope everyone forgets about this by then.

The consensus picks have been labeled; the only race that did not have a consensus was the NL MVP. Interestingly, the only unanimous pick was the Phillies winning the wild card, while Budds and BT picked the Mets to win the NL East and I picked the Braves.

On to the picks:

Budds
AL East: Red Sox (consenus Meat pick)
AL Central: Indians (consenus Meat pick)
AL West: Angels (consenus Meat pick)
Wild Card: Yankees (consenus Meat pick)
AL MVP: Alex Rodriguez, Yankees (consenus Meat pick)
AL Cy Young: Josh Beckett, Red Sox (consenus Meat pick)

BT
AL East: Yankees
AL Central: Tigers
AL West: Mariners
Wild Card: Indians
AL MVP: Alex Rodriguez, Yankees
AL Cy Young: Josh Beckett, Red Sox

EJ
AL East: Red Sox
AL Central: Indians
AL West: Angels
Wild Card: Yankees
AL MVP: Manny Ramirez, Red Sox
AL Cy Young: Roy Halladay, Blue Jays

NL East: Braves
NL Central: Cubs (consenus Meat pick)
NL West: Diamondbacks (consenus Meat pick)
Wild Card: Phillies (consenus Meat pick)
NL MVP: Case Utley, Phillies
NL Cy Young: Johan Santana, Mets (consenus Meat pick)

BT
NL East: Mets
NL Central: Brewers
NL West: Diamondbacks
Wild Card: Phillies
NL MVP: Matt Holliday, Rockies
NL Cy Young: Johan Santana, Mets

Budds:
NL East: Mets
NL Central: Cubs
NL West: Dodgers
Wild Card: Phillies
NL MVP: Ryan Howard, Phillies
NL Cy Young: Jake Peavy, Padres

World Series
BT: Yankees over Mets
Budds: Yankees over Dodgers
EJ: Diamondbacks over Angels

Odd Couple

2008-04-10T10:31:00.005-04:00

This week Sports Illustrated has a small piece on former Alabama quarterback Jay Barker (QB of national championship team in 1992) getting married to a country music singer of some sort. No big deal there, but then the piece casually mentions that Barker hosts a radio show in Birmingham, Ala., with former place-kicker Al Del Greco. Huh??!! How do you just drop that and walk away. The Auburn-Alabama thing aside, how did these two end up doing a radio show together? And what is a guy named Al Del Greco doing sticking around Birmingham, Ala.? And, most of all, why does he have a listing on IMDB?

I tried to explain the overall oddness of this to Debbie but, having heard of neither of the aforementioned odd couple, she seemed pretty non-plussed. Thus, it is now a blog. Make of it what you will.

10 Shining Moments

2008-04-08T16:03:00.007-04:00

In the aftermath of a great title game that redeemed a largely boring NCAA tournament, here is my list of the top ten individual performers for the fortnight (plus a week).

10. Antonio Anderson, SG, Memphis - You won't be surprised to hear that the list is heavy on players from teams that progressed furthest (farthest? why don't I know English?) in the tournament. Anderson was the unsung hero for Memphis, the best team over the course of the tournament. Though his offensive numbers were healthy (10 points, 5 rebounds, 3.5 assists, 1 turnover per game), he was the best defensive player in the tournament. In three successive games, he blanketed three All-American-caliber guards -- Drew Neitzel, D.J. Augustin and Darren Collison. Those three, who average a combined 47.6 points per game, were held to a total of 24 points on 7 for 35 shooting. And a large number of those 24 points were scored during a furious Texas rally where Anderson really wasn't covering Augustin. He (and the entire Memphis team) really dominated most of his games defensively. NBA prospects: Anderson can find a place on an NBA team by focusing on his defense and 3 point shooting (currently 33%). I can see him being a slightly poorer man's version of Stacy Augmon.

9. Joe Alexander, SF, West Virginia - Alexander was the chief architect for what many fans would consider to be the most satisfying upset of the tournament, West Virginia's disposal of Duke in the second round (though some would argue if it was even an upset). For the tournament, he averaged 18 points and 10 rebounds per game, including a 22 point, 11 rebound (and 3 block) performance in the aforementioned Duke game. Beyond that, he was West Virginia's undisputed leader -- as shown by the fact that his team fell apart after he fouled out in overtime against Xavier. Alexander left with WVU up by 3, but Xavier went on a 15-8 run in the final minutes to send the Mountaineers home. NBA prospects: Say hello to the NBDL, Joe. Alexander will be Pittsnogled.

8. Brook Lopez, C, Stanford - Lopez, whose parents apparently hate him and his brother, was very close to being the best big man in the tournament (for the best, see #3 below). After playing just 15 minutes an opening round blowout of Cornell (RIP, Big Red), Lopez went for 56 against Marquette and Texas. That total is additionally impressive when considering the fact that he was basically the only offensive option on Stanford's team. He scored 8 of Stanford's 11 overtime points against Marquette, including the game winner with 3 seconds remaining. His point total would have been higher yet had Stanford coach Trent Johnson realized while playing Texas that Lopez should be touching the ball 3 out of every 4 trips down the court (at a minimum). NBA prospects: Lopez is more athletic and more coordinated then most people realize. Plus, he competes. While he won't be an All-Star, I can see him being an above average NBA starter for a long time.

7. Brandon Rush, SF, Kansas - Rush's ACL tear while playing a pickup game last June was one of the key factors contributing to Kansas' national championship. After the injury, Rush was forced to stay in school. With a full rehab, Rush returned to become the closest thing Kansas had to a go-to guy in the tournament. Rush averaged 16 points and 6 rebounds per game, including a 25 point outburst in the national semifinal win over UNC. He was also consistent, scoring at least 12 in each game. On almost any other college team, he would clearly be the best player, and average 18+ ppg. Kansas was just so loaded that he embraced the team, to everyone's benefit. NBA prospects: Despite his injury, Rush still is a great athlete. He has decent height (6-6), shoots well from deep (42%) and can handle the ball. I could see him making some All-Star teams down the road.

**Note** I need to insert a special recognition of Darrell Arthur, who, despite being a first team All Big 12 player and going for 20 and 10 last night, garnered nary a mention by any of the experts. His dominance over Joey Dorsey was what kept Kansas in the game.

6. Stephen Curry, SG, Davidson - This seems like a low ranking for Curry, but I find it hard to put him above others on the list. Everyone knows what he did, carrying Davidson to within a last minute three pointer of a Final Four birth. What I found most impressive, though, was the fact that he almost never seemed to play beyond the bounds of Davidson's offense, despite being public enemy number one of the opposing team. For the record, he scored 32 per game, shooting 46% from the field, 44% from three (on the way to setting an NCAA single season record for three pointers made), and 88% from the line. Plus, his mom... NBA prospects: He's small, but with that skill set, he'll find a role with some team. I see him being a sixth man for most of his career.

5. Tyler Hansborough, PF, UNC - I hate UNC. I particularly hate Hansborough. Just seeing his ugly game and his retarded celebration dances and listening to Jay Bilas verbally fellate him drives me crazy. So you know that Hansborough earned his spot on this list. Hansborough was good for 20 points and 9 rebounds per game, but what gets him this high was his performance against against Louisville, where he carried Carolina on his back via put-back dunks, old fashioned three point plays, and even a couple long distance jumpers. NBA prospects: Joe Kleine-lite. Or, as a colleague recently said, "If he'd like to appear on national TV again, he'll return for his senior season at UNC."

4. Mario Chalmers, PG/SG, Kansas - "Super Mario" (or, as I prefer, "Supernintendo Chalmers") was good all tournament, but great when it counted. In total, he averaged 15 points, 3 boards and 3 assists per game (after torching Texas for 30 in a great Big 12 championship game). Throughout the tournament, though, he stood out for his intuitive defense and quick hands, averaging 3 steals per game. But all Jayhawk fans will remember is the three from the top of the key, drifting to his left with Derrick Rose's hand in his face and the clock showing 3 seconds in the game. One of the greatest shots in NCAA history. NBA prospects: As with all of the Kansas players, it is difficult to judge how good they are because there was so much offensive talent on that team. Chalmers is small (6-1), but very quick. He shot 47% from deep for the year, and picked 2.5 pockets per game. My bet is that he'll find a way to stay on NBA rosters for awhile.

**How can the MVP of the Final Four come in at #4 on the list? Because 3 players performed better than he did (duh).**

3. Kevin Love, C, UCLA - The press goes absolutely berzerk for Love and his Color Me Badd beard (credit to the Sports Guy for the reference), but Love frankly backs it up with his play. To use a stupid term, he has about the best basketball I.Q. of any freshman I've ever seen. He can shoot, pass, rebound and block shots. He competes hard, and seems comfortable in tight situations. For the tournament, he averaged 20 points, 11 rebounds and 4 blocks per game (including 7 blocks in a 2 point win over Texas A&M). He shot 57% from the field and 81% from the line. His most impressive moment of the tournament, though, came during a shootaround before the Xavier game. He stood flat-footed beyond the far endline and heaved a chest pass that swished through the net a mere 95 feet away. NBA prospects: I have no idea. He could be a stud perennial All-Star. He could be out of the league in 4 years (though I doubt it). I really don't know. His ability to shoot and pass should allow him to keep a job at the least. But if you see him trudging up and down the court at the end of a game, you have to wonder how he is going to handle an 82 game season against the best athletes in the world.

2. Chris Douglas-Roberts, SF, Memphis - CDR was the leader of the best team in the tournament. His herky-jerk offensive game netted more points than anyone in the tournament, at 23+ per game, which was complemented nicely by 4+ assists per game and more than a steal per game. Even in defeat, he dropped 22. When Memphis needed a bucket (which wasn't very often, as they were usually blowing teams out), he was good for one. He even upped his free throw percentage from 71% for the regular season to 81% in the tournament. Unfortunately, if he had shot 82% for the tournament, Memphis would be champions. NBA prospects: I just don't have a good feeling about CDR in the Association. Granted, he has size (6-7) and he can shoot from deep (41%). But how many successful NBA players are like him? His game is largely comprised of creative running one-handers from mid-range, sprinkled in with the occasional three. Who compares? Richard Hamilton? Manu Ginobli? Maybe I just changed my mind on his prospects...

1. Derrick Rose, PG, Memphis - This dude was just a revelation in the tournament. The numbers (21 points, 7 rebounds, 6 assists and less than 2 turnovers per game) are eye-popping. But just watching him play leaves you more impressed. He's great with the ball, he runs the game incredibly well for a freshman, and he always plays in control. He also had two of the more impressive plays in the tournament: the first was a double-clutch dunk to finish a fast break against Texas where he took off, kept the ball low, let a defender fly by, hung in the air, and brought the ball up to dunk it. The second was in last night's game during a broken play where he received the ball while cutting down the lane, elevated, took a full collision from Mario Chalmers, gathered himself in the air, and still layed it in for a three point play. He would be a great finisher for a 6-8 senior small forward. As a 6-4 freshman point guard, he is incredible. NBA prospects: To quote Ben Stiller in Meet the Parents, his prospects are "strong ... to quite strong." He has everything. If there ever was a freshman who had no need for further college ball, this is it. He just needs to curb his gummy bears habit.

Honorable Mention: Scottie Reynolds, Villanova; Tyrone Brazelton, Western Kentucky; Darrell Arthur, Kansas; Michael Beasley, Kansas State; A.J. Abrams, Texas; Jerel McNeal, Marquette; Wayne Ellington, UNC; Christian Laettner, Duke

This just in: William Wesley has many friends

2008-04-06T12:42:00.003-04:00

The New York Times has gotten into the habit of choosing some oddly news-deficient political stories for its front page (Obama’s friends say he wasn’t a cokehead; McCain’s aids may have confronted him on an affair that looked like it might have, could have maybe happened; Hillary Clinton wrote letters in college – to a boy!). The trend now seems to have spilled over to the sports pages with the revelation that a man named William Wesley has many friends, including some in the Memphis basketball program. The story seems to suggest that something shady is happening with Wesley (or “Daddy Wes,” as Kriss Kross once called him), and he may have even admitted as much, off the record. But the story reveals nothing:

What does Wesley do? How does he make his money? How did he become so influential? The questions are often greeted with more questions.

And a D1 feature should answer at least some of these questions. The only one the story makes an honest attempt to address is the third – how he became influential. He worked at a popular sneaker store, became friendly with athletes, and simply hung around as often as possible. Now, he turns up everywhere – on the court at the Final Four, in team USA’s quarters on the Queen Mary II in Athens, courtside with LeBron. A nice life, for sure, but why do I care?
And why did this story run in Saturday’s Times? My best guess is that they were on the trail to revealing something more concrete and simply ran out of time. Memphis was facing elimination, so they wanted to strike while the iron was, er, warm-ish. And now, all we know is that William Wesley is someone influential who we hadn’t heard of before.

Updating the Brackets

2008-03-31T10:29:00.002-04:00

It's a pretty predictable Final 4, which means no one got it right becuase everyone tried to outsmart themselves and not pick all the No. 1 seeds (prime example, myself, who on March 4 unequivocally named UNC, Kansas, Memphis and UCLA the best four teams in the country but still picked Tennessee to win the East).

Regardless, we have some pools to update. In the from-the-beginning pool I'm currently clinging to a one-point lead over Esau (242 to 241), with Joe coming in at 215 and Maxipriest at 179). Esau has UNC to win, I have Kansas, so ostensibly the winner of that game will decide the pool.

In the re-do as of the Sweet 16 pool (scoring 1-2-4-6), we have
Snoop - 7 points for Sweet 16 - 6 points for Elite 8 = 13 points total
EJ - 5 - 6 = 11 points
Budds - 5 - 4 = 9 points
Joe - 5 - 4 = 9 points

Snoop and Joe have UNC over Texas, which eliminates Joe
Budds has UNC over UCLA
And I have Kansas over UCLA

From 64 to 16

2008-03-24T10:00:00.000-04:00

Missives from the greatest weekend in sports:

My Best Hit: Davidson over Georgetown. I got a couple of others – Nova over Clemson, W. Kentucky over Drake, Siena over Vandy, but cancelled those out by picking Oral Roberts over Pitt, St. Joe’s over Oklahoma and Temple over Michigan State – but I was feeling good yesterday when Davidson clipped Georgetown. While we’re here, Stephen Curry has clearly been the best player in the tourney so far, going for 70 points (55 in the second halves) so far. He reminds me so much of J.J. Redick – a great shooter who has the ability to drive around you if you crowd him.

My Biggest Miss: USC to the Elite 8. I kind of fell for USC after watching them play in the Pac-10 tournament, and got nailed when Bill Walker rolled over them in the first round. This also cleared the way for Wisconsin, which is better than I gave it credit for. In fact, the Big 10 has not laid the egg I expected. Which brings me to …

My Biggest Surprise: Michigan State. I don’t think anyone is that surprised to see Villanova in the Sweet 16 (for the third time in four years) and the Western Kentucky and San Diego upsets were not complete shockers (particularly after UConn’s A.J. Price went down), but I really did think Temple would beat Michigan State. And I was pretty certain Pitt would as well. Tom Izzo has clearly earned his place as one of the country’s best tourney coaches, and I’m the idiot who keeps ignoring that.

Best Game: Easter cut into my TV watching yesterday, but the best game of the first three days was Drake and Western Kentucky. Take away the buzzer beater and it was still a great game – tons of scoring, running, clutch shots. And that last shot was pretty sweet.

Bad Draws: Gonzaga, which deserved a No. 7 seed (and maybe better) but got stuck playing a Davidson team that is much better than a No. 10; this should have been a second-round should have been a second-round game. Also Butler, which is probably the best mid-major team but got stuck against the best No. 2 seed (Tennessee) in the second round; this should have been a Sweet 16 game.

Good Draws: Kansas, which has a relatively easy road to the Final 4, probably the easiest of the top seeds (because Xavier can test UCLA). Oklahoma, which should have been a 10 seed and should have lost in the first round, but drew a St. Joe’s squad that probably should have been in the NIT (and don’t think Zona State and Va. Tech don’t agree). Of course, St. Joe’s beat Xavier twice down the stretch and I have Xavier going to the Elite 8, so it’s fair to argue against me on this one.

Good to be 3: All No. 1s and all No. 3s are still alive, with No. 2s Georgetown and Duke gone. The only other popular Final 4 pick to be upended so far is Pitt, meaning we have a good chance of a lot of favorites playing into April.

Sweet 16 Bracket?: OK, the Sportsmeat tourney pool has been a bit of a bust, but does anyone have any interest in trying to re-run a pool from the Sweet 16 on? If so, I’ll make it happen. If not, I’ll just call it a day.

I Must Be Working Late ...

2008-03-18T00:30:00.007-04:00

... because the following quote from the ESPN article about the Dodgers leaving Dodgertown made me laugh until I ... stopped.

"In an era when spring training has become big business, this complex was more like baseball's petting zoo, where players were encouraged to chat with fans and sign their balls."

And yes, I am in my 30s....

(Incidentally, the residents of Dodgertown are gonna feel awful silly from now on when they tell people where they are from...)

Be sure to participate in the Sportsmeat Bracket Challenge (the "SpoBraCha")! See instructions in EJ's post below.

It's Madness All Right

2008-03-17T16:08:00.003-04:00

Ok. We have a tournament pool to set up for the Sportsmeat faithful and more casual meaters. If I did this thing right, most of you should get an email to join the pool. If I didn't, go to http://sportsmeat.mayhem.sportsline.com and let's see what happens. If it helps, the ID is "Sportsmeat" and the Password is "Helmet" -- as in my go-to poster after saying stupid crap during Sportsmeat the Radio Show (the precursor to Sportsmeat the Blog).

To induce people to pick upsets (because what fun is a tourney pool with no upsets) the pool rewards upset picks with bonus points (this is particularly true in the opneing rounds - a breakdown of the rules is available on the site). I'll post updates on the Sportsmeat site as the tourney wears on.

If anyone cannot get on for any reason, let me know. I think I need to invite you and either a) don't have your email address (Dave Law, I'm looking in your direction) or b) have the wrong email address.

Haile Yeah

2008-03-11T10:50:00.001-04:00

Haile Gebrselassie’s recently decided to forgo the marathon in the Summer Olympics that never should have been. Gebrselassie’s is but the latest in a series of moves from athletes and entertainers—Steven Spielberg recently dropped out of his role as artistic adviser due to China’s involvement in Darfur—who are concerned with the poor air quality in Beijing and/or China’s dubious history on human rights.

There is a large segment of the population that does not believe politics should play a role in selecting cities for the Olympics. Even taking this argument into consideration, Beijing’s status as one of the most polluted cities in the world should have given the IOC some pause. Gebrselassie suffers from exercise-induced asthma, as does tennis’ world No. 1 Justine Henin, who is also considering skipping the Games for health reasons.

Also, in my eyes, it is impossible to overlook the human rights considerations. A popular argument is that it is best to work toward incremental change, and that such change is best effected from the inside. By that reasoning, holding the Olympics in Beijing draws attention to China’s record on human rights in a way that could put pressure on the country to alter its current course. I sincerely hope that is true. But more likely, the IOC bestowing the Olympics on Beijing will reinforce China’s belief that what they are doing—and the manner in which they conduct affairs—is OK. Simple logic tells you not to reward bad behavior.

Handing out Olympic bids is not a political action. This is not about China’s standing as a communist country. And certainly there is an argument to be made that nearly every nation has some political downside (many others would oppose Russia for its crackdown on press freedoms or the U.S. based on scandals such as Abu Ghraib or Blackwater). But the dual demerits of poor air quality and a poor record on human rights seem an incurable black stain in China’s case. A more prudent stance for the IOC would have been to tell China why they were out of the running, that changes need to be made before it can be considered for an Olympic bid in the future. Perhaps that is not the IOC’s place. Perhaps it should be.

Understandably, the Chinese people decried Speilberg’s actions, as they did those of the singer Bjork after she chanted “Tibet” at the end of a recent concert. If any athletes follow her lead at the Olympics, they will earn the eternal enmity of the Chinese people. They will also earn my absolute respect.

Shoulder-pad Feminism

2008-03-07T09:14:00.004-05:00

When I heard Maureen Dowd talking about the role of "shoulder-pad feminism" in Hillary Clinton's resurgance, I immediately thought of Helen Hunt's inspirational title character in Quarterback Princess. Yes, I'm pathetic. But if you've seen the film, you understand. It's the story of a small-town girl with a dream to play football. And try as they might to squash that dream, the men of this story are powerless against the strong will and accurate arm of Tami Maida (had to look that one up -- Princess Vespa, incidentally, plays the sister; funny, she doesn't look Druish). It's A League of Their Own meets Remember the Titans before either of those existed. I highly recommend adding this to your Netflix queue. That goes for you, too, Hillary, if you're reading (and I know you are).

I'll Take "Things I Think That I Shouldn't Say Out Loud" For $2,000, Alex

2008-03-06T14:34:00.004-05:00

Via Awful Announcing, the clip below is the winner of the Sportsmeat Award (the "Meaty") for Best Awkward Silence in a Sports Related Clip:

While I'm blatantly stealing from Awful Announcing, I might as well include this entertaining transcript from the Dan Patrick Show of Bruce Pearl discussing his full court press on Erin Andrews:

DP: [During the Memphis game], you can't be putting your hands on Erin Andrews at halftime, Coach.
BP: Erin is a terrific sideline reporter, she knows the game, but she's also very engaging. I actually called her and texted her back, and I apologized if in any way that was unprofessional.
DP: Is texting her an NCAA violation?
BP: No, she's not a prospect.
DP: Oh, yes, she is.
BP: She's way out of my league when it comes to that category.
DP: You're not even a mid-major?
BP: Absolutely not. I'm D-II.
DP: When is the last time you accidentally broke an NCAA rule?
BP: Probably sometime in this conversation.

And just 'cuz:

Favre, Hoops, Mets, Jets

2008-03-04T14:20:00.001-05:00

Quick hitters from the world of sports (a departure from our interlude into TV):

-) I feel like I should start with something about Brett Favre retiring, but I don’t have much interesting to say. I always thought this story by Peter King was kind of cool, and I have to say I’ve always really enjoyed watching him play. As to his place in the all-time greats, I’d put him sixth among quarterbacks I’ve seen – behind Montana, Brady, Manning, Marino and Elway and just ahead of Troy Aikman. Still, that’s a pretty good group.

-) I’m finally starting to get into college basketball and, at this point, I’d be surprised if the national champion came from outside these four teams: Kansas, Memphis, North Carolina and UCLA. I feel like they were essentially the favorites going into the season and still are. Duke, Texas, Tennessee and Stanford all have nice teams but lack the balance or the go-to player to win a title. (Given, Kansas also lacks a go-to guy but they are the deepest team in the field.)

-) The NBA MVP is clearly a two-man race at this point, between the two best players in the league (oddly enough, this doesn’t always happen). LeBron’s numbers are insane (30 points, 8 boards, 7.5 assists) and he is keeping a very mediocre team afloat, but my vote would still go to Kobe, who is both the Lakers’ best offensive and defensive player (and perhaps the league’s best).

-) We’ll have to work on a baseball preview pretty soon, but right now I’m a little wary of the Mets. If the season started tomorrow (and luckily there is still a month to go), 10 of the Mets’ 25-man roster wouldn’t be able to play. That’s not good. I love the (relatively) young nucleus of the team – Santana, Maine and Perez in the rotation and Wright, Reyes, Beltran in the field – but this team is relying on too many old players. And there is little depth in the minor leagues. If everything goes right, the Mets are the best team in the NL. But old players get hurt, and the Mets have a lot of old players.

-) NFL free agency always blows me away. People I have never heard of get huge contracts. And this time from the Jets. I hate Mangini. I hate the way this team is being run. Instead of devising a defense to meet his talent (DeWayne Robertson, Jonathan Vilma and Kerry Rhodes), Mangini kept his system and forced players into it. Now the Jets have dealt Vilma, a former Defensive Rookie of the Year, and are close to dealing Robertson, the former No. 4 overall pick, for essentially fourth-, fourth- and fifth-round draft picks. The Jets moves this offseason (adding Kris Jenkins, Damien Woody, Calvin Pace, Alan Faneca, etc.) will make them a better team this season, but I’m concerned about the financial repercussions down the road. Oh, and the Jets still have no game-breakers nor a set quarterback. It’s gonna be another long season.

Gary called me up and asked if I would write his theme song

2008-02-27T10:58:00.004-05:00

We'll get back to sports pretty soon as we get closer to the NCAA Tournament, but for now, more TV. My latest was to try and figure out my favorite TV theme songs. I know I'm leaving out a ton and I had trouble whittling it down to five, but here are my five and a few too many honorable mentions:

1. It’s Garry Shandling’s Show
2. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
3. The A-Team
4. Cheers
5. Monk

Honorable Mention: Dukes of Hazard, The Jeffersons, MASH, The O.C., Sanford and Son, Saved by the Bell, Veronica Mars.

To hear any or to check out more, click here.

Things I learned by watching TV, 2.24.08

2008-02-25T12:18:00.002-05:00

In the interest of striking while the pop-culture iron is hot, here are three things I learned by watching last night's Oscar preludes:

- Barbara Walters does not "get" the Moldy Peaches.

- "Curvy girls" look fabulous in white dresses. (On a related note, Jennifer Hudson is not fat -- she "has a little bump.")

- Red carpet interviews get awkward after the first question and downright unwatchable after the second.

Groin Injury, G-G-Groin Injury

2008-02-20T14:12:00.004-05:00

The steroids thing has gotten boring. Baseball is still too far away, as are the NCAA Championships and the NBA postseason. Football is over. The lead story coming out of the weekend was Nascar. It's a dead time in sports, which means it's time to shift focus.

I heard this debate on the radio recently and thought I'd weight in. The question: What are your five favorite sitcoms of all time? To keep this narrow, let's restrict it to comedies that are 30 minutes or shorter. Other than that, make your own rules. I wouldn't consider Entourage or Weeds, for instance, as sitcoms, but some might. I'm no dictator here.

My nominees are, for the most part, pretty easy. For anyone of our generation, Seinfeld is close to a no-brainer, and there's no way I could make this list without Cheers. I think The Office is about the funniest thing going, so that gets a nod. My fourth show I don't think is a great show, but it appeals to my sense of humor, and that's Scrubs. My last pick came down to three shows, but I went with Coach over 30 Rock and Undeclared.

So that's it: Cheers, Coach, The Office, Scrubs and Seinfeld. And the rest of the Meaters?

What the Hell is Going on Here?

2008-02-14T11:29:00.001-05:00

Congress is an easy target so I generally try to avoid piling on, but the last two days have been pretty ridiculous. First, the Clemens-McNamee lie fest went to C-Span and ESPN (an impressive double if it wasn’t so absurd) and Roger Goodell met with Arlen Specter regarding the Pats taping the Eagles walk-though before the Super Bowl, among other Belichick-related indiscretions.

In their own right, both events are significant to sport, as they go to the very notion of fair play. And I had very little problem with Congress holding Major League Baseball accountable for the steroids scandal since MLB showed little inclination to do so itself. But currently Congress is mediating a dispute between two people—which seems like something more appropriate for a court of law. I can’t see that Congress is investigating steroids use—it’s trying to determine who lied, Clemens or McNamee. (And in truth, it’s probably both.)

Meantime, if the Patriots were indeed cheating for seven years and prior to its first Super Bowl win, it seems to me this is the NFL’s dictate to decide punishment (and the punishment should be heavy). I just don’t understand where Specter comes in.

All of this leads me to believe that I’m missing something and I know we have some lawyers in this group. Someone please make this make sense.

Scene Five: The Resolution

2008-02-13T14:25:00.003-05:00

The time has come to end the saga otherwise known as "Butt Shots: The Musical," based on the alleged steroid use of Roger Clemens. In Scene Five, we get a glimpse of three final pieces -- a phone call with Brian McNamee, an interrogation from U.S. Senators, and a return to where the story began, in Roger's quiet bedroom. Confused? Follow the rest of the story by checking out Scene One: The Temptation, Scene Two: The Injection, Scene Three: The Confrontation, and Scene Four: The Investigation.

[ROGER is on the phone with MCNAMEE]

ROGER: Have you seen the news?
They say I'm a cheat.
A loser who had to
Shoot drugs to compete---

MCNAMEE: What do you want me to say?

ROGER: Sold down the river,
Now I'm up a creek,
Even Mike Wallace says,
That I have to speak---

MCNAMEE: What do you want me to say?

ROGER: I didn't do it,
Just tell them the truth,
The fans will forgive me,
There never was proof.

MCNAMEE: (spoken) Wait, do you want me to tell the truth, or do you want me to just say you didn't do it---

ROGER: This CON-VER-SAAAAAY-TION ... is ... O-VER! [angrily hangs up the phone and storms off stage]

[Set up desk, with water pitcher and glass, for Congressional testimony]

ROGER: [seated] It's just like I said,
B-12, Lanacane,
A quick little shooter,
To deal with the pain.

SENATOR A: You really expect,
We'll buy that old line,
After Pettite himself
Told us you were lyin'

ROGER: He must have misheard,
My sarcastic laugh,
Let's forget this whole thing,
Here's my autograph--- [gets up to hand SENATOR A a signed baseball]

SENATOR B: Enough of this trash,
Return to your seat,
This hearing is over,
Adjourned and complete! [bangs gavel, ROGER wanders, dejectedly, toward center stage while hearing room set is wheeled away]

[Bedroom set from Scene One is returned to the stage. ROGER climbs into bed.]

[Reprise of "Sleepless in Toronto"]

ROGER: They say that every star,
Eventually must dim,
And the star cannot protest,
When it’s happening to him.

Yes, I used to be a hero,
A man in a boy's game.
Now I’m an utter failure,
And steroids are to blame.

I can never be that ace,
Aging or otherwise.
The sweet rejuvination,
Has become my demise.

No one will remember,
That juice fueled my whole team,
Crashing Rocket is the scape goat,
Wish it were just a dream.

[ROGER falls asleep, stage fades to darkness. Curtains close.]

Rog wants answers, dammit!

2008-02-12T14:14:00.000-05:00

I was on the phone with our absentee 'meater, the Rog, and we started talking about NCAA hoops and the chatter that always surrounds bubble teams. Rog had a good question, for which neither of us had an answer: How well do bubble teams fare in the tournament? It's really a series of questions that begins with what makes a bubble team (our best definition: the eight lowest-seeded at-large teams). Next questions: What percentage make it past the first weekend? Into the Final Four? Has a "bubble team" ever won it all? Or, simply put, was the '85 Villanova team one of the eight lowest-seeded at-large teams?

Rog suggested I post this, in case anyone is very bored and would like to do a significant amount of tedious research just so that we can say, "Huh, how 'bout that." So there it is. McDayter.

Super Tuesday Review

2008-02-06T09:53:00.000-05:00

Super Fat Tuesday came to a long, delayed close when my wife made me shut off the television at 1 a.m. ET last night (this morning, technically) and not a whole lot of closure out of the biggest primary day in American political history. The breakdown:

Republicans
John McCain was the clear winner yesterday and the presumptive nominee. I actually thought he had a strong but slightly disappointing day until MSNBC and CNN (the two stations I was flipping between) called California and Missouri for him within minutes of each other.

Mike Huckabee was the day’s other big winner. The likable nutjob from Bill Clinton’s hometown still has no chance of winning the nomination (Mississippi is about the only state he’ll win from here on out) but he certainly established his bona fides with core, southern conservatives and made himself a legit option for McCain’s V.P.

Mitt Romney was the day’s big loser. He got hosed in West Virginia to start the day (Romney was leading in a three-way race, but then, in the quirky two-way convention, McCain threw his people Huckabee’s way) and, while he won a number of states, was unable to break through where he needed to—Missouri, Georgia and California. All that said, I don’t think his candidacy is dead. There are still a number of states where he can compete against McCain, including Ohio, where his strength on the economy could play well.

Democrats
The night was essentially a wash. I think I would say Hillary won the night because she’ll come out of it with more delegates, won the two biggest prizes (New York and California) and posted impressive wins in California and Massachusetts (despite endorsements of Obama from both Massachusetts senators, Ted Kennedy and John Kerry, as well as Mass. Gov. Deval Patrick).

However, Obama won 13 states to eight for Clinton (and has a very slight lead in undecided New Mexico). And while Clinton may have won the big prizes, her victories were relatively narrow; Obama, conversely, took a number of traditionally red states by whopping margins. Moreover, Obama took the bellwether state of Missouri in an upset and managed to break Clinton’s presumed hold over the tri-state area by taking Connecticut.

The other good news for Obama is that the next week sets up in his favor (Louisiana, Washington, Nebraska, Maine) and he has a good chance to sweep the Chesapeake primaries (Maryland, Virginia, D.C.) six days from now. Even if he doesn’t, Obama will likely head into the swing state of Wisconsin Feb. 19 in a dead heat with Clinton, setting up a major showdown a month from now with same-day primaries in Texas and Ohio.

Tsunami Fat Tuesday

2008-02-05T09:48:00.001-05:00

Today marks the unusual confluence of Fat Tuesday (New Orleans, drinking) and Super Tuesday (20-odd states and American Samoa, kissing babies), which Tom Brokaw has deemed Tsunami Tuesday for all the states involved.

And since the majority of our reader- and writer-ship are in Super Tuesday states (CA, CT, MA, NJ, NY), remember to get out and vote today. Preferably for Obama, but that's your call.

Who Saw This Coming?

2008-02-04T12:05:00.000-05:00

By now everyone has already recapped the Super Bowl 100 times, so I’ll boil it down to the things that stood out to me:

-) The Giants defense was amazing. If you throw two TDs and lead your team to a game-winning touchdown with 35 seconds left, you deserve to be the MVP, but there is no question that the Giants’ D-Line was the difference in the game (Justin Tuck, with six tackles, two sacks and a forced fumble, was probably the best of the bunch). The Patriots came into the game averaging 36 points and 411 yards per game – and score more than 30 points in 13 of 18 games – yet the Giants held them to 14 points. They sacked Brady five times and probably knocked him down more than the Jets have since Mo Lewis ruptured Drew Bledsoe’s spleen. Plus, by creating such a pass rush, they didn’t allow the Pats the time it takes to go deep to Randy Moss and earn an easy touchdown. It was a truly remarkable performance.

-) Two things surprised me about the Patriots’ strategy. The Giants were coming after Brady hard, yet the Pats didn’t go to a max protection scheme to give Brady more time. It seemed obvious that the Pats O-line wasn’t handling the Giants D-line, so why not leave a back or an extra tight end in to block? Also odd was that the Pats gave up on the running game. I know it wasn’t especially effective, but a semblance of a running attack also might have slowed the Giants’ pass rushers. Maroney rushed just 14 times, and just six in the second half despite the Pats holding the ball for twice the number of minutes in the second half as the first.

-) Troy Aikman really, really loves to say Osi Umenyiora’s name. And not just the last name. The full name. Like 15 times a possession. (That was my first of two Larry King moments.)

-) A lot has been made of Belichick leaving the field before the end of the game. I can’t stand the guy—in fact, he’s my least favorite non-criminal in sports (ahead of even Barry Bonds and T.O.)—but I’m not quite ready to kill him on this one. He thought the game was over and went over and shook Coughlin’s hand. He didn’t blow him off. All that said, a coach should not leave the field while his players are still on it. He didn’t desecrate the game, but he’s still a jerk and that was one more jerky moment in a career full of them.

-) Other than that, a lot of credit to the Patriots players, who I thought were pretty classy in handling the loss. I’m sure they were devastated, but they didn’t make excuses.

-) And finally, can someone get Mercury Morris to the f&$% shut up??!!

Moving on to more important things, the Second Sportsmeat Football Pool (2007-08 edition) has finally come to its end. In this case, it swung on whether the Giants covered the spread. If they hadn’t, Budds would have won a second title in two years. Instead, I finally picked the Giants to cover and they came through (as they had nearly every time I picked against them, like with the Bucs, Cowboys and Packers).

The only person to pick the game correctly was Dave Law, who picked the Giants to win and cover and took the under, giving him all 20 points. Snoop was the only one to take the collar. So as fans go, congrats to Big Thunder and condolences to Snoop and Maxipriest.

Below are the updated, final standings:

EJ - 217 points (10 this past weekend)
Budds - 210 (5)
Joe - 206 (5)
Maxipriest - 192 (5)
Dave Law - 146.5 (20)
Big Thunder - 122 (-)
Snoop - 111 (0)
Y.A. Shoes - 35 (-)

Scene Three: The Confrontation

2008-02-01T13:14:00.000-05:00

If you liked the previous excerpts from "Butt Shots," the first and only musical to chronicle the alleged steroid use of Roger Clemens, you're in luck this Friday afternoon -- Scene Three is below. If you're tired of all this musical nonsense, you can also consider yourself lucky. Scene Five, coming next week, will be the final installment. And if you have no idea what I'm talking about, check out Scene One: The Temptation, Scene Two: The Injection, and Scene Four: The Investigation.

More about Scene Three: This one, inspired by West Side Story, is for Snoop, the best Tony that Monadnock ever saw. It takes us back to an innocent age -- an age before 9/11, before the Florida recount, before Boston became the capital of professional sports -- to the Subway Series of 2000...

[Flash forward to the 2000 World Series. ROGER stands on the mound, staring down a batter]

ANNOUNCER: (spoken) Pitching for the New York Yankees... Roger Clemens. [Applause]

ROGER: [peering menacingly over his glove]
When you're a Yank,
You're expected to win,
It's steroids you thank,
And that's not a sin.

When you're a Yank,
You're a Yank till you're dead,
Built like a tank,
And you aim for the head.

[Winds up and throws a pitch to PIAZZA, who fouls off the ball, breaking his bat]

[ROGER picks up the barrel of the bat and throws it at PIAZZA]

ROGER: (spoken) You want a piece of me?

[The benches clear and the team's face off on the first base line]

PIAZZA: When you're a Met,
You're a Met all the way,
And for sure, you can bet,
I'll be buried at Shea.

METS TEAMMATES: When you're a Met,
You got pride, you can say
Mike -- he's e-fem-inette,
But we swear he's not gay.

ROGER: (spoken) Yeah, whatever---

JETER: When you're a Yank,
You bleed white and blue,
And let me be frank,
We're just better than you.

AL LEITER: When you're a Met,
You don't need to be cocky,
Obnoxious or rude,
Like Jeremy Shockey--

PIAZZA: (spoken) --You mean the sophomore tight end at the University of Miami? Sort of an obscure reference, don't you think?

UMPIRE: When you're an ump,
You make the call.
Enough with the singing,
Can we just play ball?

PIAZZA: (spoken) Uh, sure.

ROGER: (spoken) Yeah, let's go.

[Players stop their posturing, shrug, and slowly head back to their dugouts]

YEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-01-30T11:42:00.001-05:00

This past fall, down in Spring Training, we decided to head out to a game between the Mets and Cardinals in Jupiter, Fla., which featured Albert Pujols and a bunch of players I’ve never heard of (Endy Chavez was the best Met who made the trip). As we were sitting there in the very hot sun on some very hard bleachers, a Met pitcher starting warming up. About that time Esau turned to me and goes, “Who the hell is Mulvey?”

Well, apparently Mulvey is what it takes to land the best pitcher in baseball. I never thought the Mets would get Santana. I figured the Twins would bite on Phil Hughes and Cabrera from the Yankees, or some package built around Ellsbury from the Red Sox.

This is a great trade for the Mets. Carlos Gomez is absurdly fast but I thought he was a little over-matched last year and I’m not convinced he’ll ever be the five-tool player he’s being billed as. I think he’s going to be a very, very good major leaguer, but you have to give guys like that up to get a pitcher like Santana. As for the arms the Mets surrendered, I don’t see Humber or Mulvey being more than a No. 3 starter. The wild card is Guerra, who apparently has a huge upside. But he’s also a Single-A player. You never know how those guys are going to pan out.

The Mets gave up a good deal—their Nos. 2, 3, 4 and 7 prospects according to Baseball America—and if all four of the prospects hit their ceilings, it’s a great trade for the Twins. But Santana is not yet 29, with smooth mechanics that don’t indicate he’ll break down any time soon, and he’s the best pitcher in baseball. This was a no-brainer (plus the Mets kept their top prospect, Fernando Martinez). What was a mediocre rotation is now one of the better ones in the National League. As a 1-2-3, Pedro, John Maine and Oliver Perez may not look like much, but as a 2-3-4 they’re pretty good. Plus, El Duque takes over as the fifth starter and the Mets still have Mike Pelfrey to step in when Pedro and Duque get hurt (and they will, just hopefully not at the same time).

The Mets still have holes, but they now have to be the favorite in the NL. And with 20-something players in Beltran, Wright, Reyes, Santana, Maine and Perez, there is an excellent foundation for the future.

It All Comes Down to This

2008-01-28T14:47:00.000-05:00

The football pool, started long ago in August 2007, is in its final throes and here's what we have:

Pick a Winner (10 points): N.Y. Giants vs. N.E. Patriots in Scottsdale, Ariz.
Against the Spread (5 points): The Pats are favored by 12.
Over/Under (5 points): 54

Now, to keep everyone honest, we're going to have the four still in contention for the title send their picks to an impartial observer (in this case, Big Thunder). Those four are Budds, myself, Joe and Maxipriest. Everyone else can also send their picks to Big Thunder if they wish, or can simply post them here. And hey, since it's a free country and it's an egalitarian blog, the top 4 can also post here if they so choose.

Scene Four: The Investigation

2008-01-25T09:29:00.000-05:00

This scene is the work of Big Thunder, and it's inspired by Phantom of the Opera. Also coming soon: Scene Three: The Confrontation, which finds our hero (or antihero) in a standoff with Mike Piazza.

Scene Four
[Flash forward to 2007. The investigator, George MITCHELL, wearing a mask covering half his face, lurks in the background of the Yankee clubhouse while MCNAMEE and ROGER are sitting on stools in the foreground]

MITCHELL: Needles, sharpened,
Injected in the buttocks
Can’t help pitchers
What a bunch of bollocks
Suddenly Tejada is hitting it much hard-a...

Slowly, gently,
Mac unfurled his products
Roger eyed them,
They would go in his butt
Turn away your face
Get a grip of your shoelaces
You alone can pitch till forty-five...
And win the Cy Young for a seventh time.

MCNAMEE: [while injecting ROGER's butt]
Close your eyes and surrender to the strongest juice,
Purge your thoughts of the hack you were before,
Just beware that your ass might get quite sore!
And you'll be the douche of baseball lore...

MITCHELL: Pettite, Knobloch,
Sheffield and Giambi,
Justice, Clemens
Who did they play for? See?
Clearly the Bronx Bombers
Cheat worse than Lance Armstrong
Its time to report to the Commish
The New York Yankees should be abolished!

[MITCHELL creeps offstage, jotting his observations on a notepad, eyes darting from side to side]

Scene Two: The Injection

2008-01-24T09:18:00.000-05:00

On Sportsmeat, as in movies, sequels rarely live up to expectations (see "Randy Wolf vs. Beowulf," the follow-up to my "Gil Meche vs. Gilgamesh" post). But with "Butt Shots," I think the story must go on. I can't just tease with an opening scene and then let it drop. So love it or hate it, the Broadway musical about Roger Clemens' alleged steroid use continues. Again, feedback is appreciated. For instance, does anyone know if "tookis" is the correct spelling? Grammar majors?

[The following day, ROGER sits in front of his locker as his teammates leave for batting practice. MCNAMEE stays behind.]

ROGER: (spoken) I've been thinking about what you said, you know, about the "mojo"---

MCNAMEE: (spoken) And?

ROGER: And I want to give it a ... SHOT! [jumps up from his chair, syringe in hand]

MCNAMEE: (spoken) I knew I could count on you. OK, OK, what's the plan? You wanna start right away?

ROGER: I'll start off with a double shot,
Or triple! What's the harm?
Now let me roll my sleeve up,
Then stick it in my arm!

MCNAMEE: [pauses, moves towards ROGER's left]
I think you are mistaken,
On where the needle goes---

ROGER: I pitch with my right arm,
As everybody knows...

MCNAMEE: We can't have needle markings,
Showing up on TV,
So we'll do the injection,
Where cameras cannot see.

ROGER: (spoken) Can't see? What do you mean?

[start dance routine]
MCNAMEE: The tookis, the buttocks,
The rumpus or the rear,
It only takes a second,
It's nothing you should fear.

The butt-the-bum-the-bottom,
The gleuts or the caboose,
I promise you'll win 20 games
Now that you're on the juice.

ROGER: The tookis? The buttocks?
The rumpus or the rear?
It only takes a second?
It's nothing I should fear?

The butt-the-bum-the-bottom,
the gleuts or the caboose?
This sounds a little gay,
Not sure I want the juice--

MCNAMEE: Forget your rabbit's foot,
Or your four-leaf clover,
Stop being such a wuss,
And just be-nnnd over!

[ROGER winces and sticks out his butt; MACNAMEE injects; Fireworks go off, and ROGER stands and flexes with newfound strength]
[Enter chorus of TEAMMATES, dancing with bats, ala Danny Kaye with cane]

TEAMMATES: The tookis, the buttocks,
The rumpus or the rear,
It only takes a second,
It's nothing you should fear.

The butt-the-bum-the-bottom,
The gleuts or the caboose,
We're going to the World Series,
now that you're on the juice.

MUSCULAR, POWER-HITTING TEAMMATE: [deep baritone]
The tookis, the buttocks,
The rumpus or the rear,
It only takes a second,
It's nothing you should fear.

The butt-the-bum-the-bottom,
The gleuts or the caboose,
I was a middle infielder
before I found the juice.

TEAMMATES: The tookis, the buttocks,
The rumpus or the rear,
It only takes a second,
It's nothing you should fear.

The butt-the-bum-the-bottom,
The gleuts or the caboose,
We're in the clear, so have no fear,
they don't test for the juice.

ROGER: The tookis, the buttocks,
The rumpus or the rear,
It only takes a second,
It's nothing you should fear.

The butt-the-bum-the-bottom,
The gleuts or the caboose,
I'll play another 20 yearrrrrrrs,
now that I've found the juice!

[ROGER, MACNAMEE, and TEAMMATES enthusiastically run out of the clubhouse]

Down the Stretch They Come

2008-01-23T10:01:00.000-05:00

Many strategies were tried. Budds, Snoop and myself took the safe route and picked the favorites, while Big Thunder and Maxipriest took the risky route and took the underdogs. The result was a 1-1 week for all five, opening the door for Dave Law and Joe, who posted 2-0 weeks to make strides with one week left in the season.

As to the Super Bowl, we'll open it up for 20 points - 10 to pick the winner, 5 for the spread and 5 on the over/under. Sticking with our recent political vibe, that leaves four people still in the running, with Maxipriest playing the Dennis Kucinich part with a major long-shot to overtake the three in front of him. Budds being the incumbent winner earns the Hillary Clinton nod, whereas I represent a change in possible champion (Barack Obama), while Joe is still in the running but needs help (John Edwards). Is this fair? No, but I didn't want to be Hillary so I stuck Budds with it.

Below are the updated standings:

EJ - 207 points (5 this past weekend)
Budds - 205 (5)
Joe - 201 (10)
Maxipriest - 187 (5)
Dave Law - 126.5 (10)
Big Thunder - 122 (5)
Snoop - 111 (5)
Y.A. Shoes - 35 (0)

Scene One: The Temptation

2008-01-22T11:59:00.000-05:00

I was kicking this idea around while painting last weekend and looking at the ads for Broadway shows on my newsprint dropcloth. So here goes nothing -- Part one of a new Sportsmeat poetry corner feature: Excerpts from "Butt Shots," the new Broadway musical about Roger Clemens' alleged steroid use. Co-writers and editors welcome.

Opening scene

[ROGER is tossing and turning in bed alone. He sits up and stares out the window at the night sky…]

ROGER: They say that every star,
Eventually must dim,
And the star cannot protest,
When it’s happening to him.

Yes, I used to be a hero,
Fanned twenty in a game.
Now I’m wallowing in Canada,
Where they barely know my name.

Oh sure, I’m still an ace,
But an aging one at that.
A has-been who can’t quite come through,
A Casey at the bat.

I need a dose of mojo,
I need, I need it pronto,
Until then I will forever beeeeeeee…
… Sleepless in Toronto.

[Enter MCNAMEE, in corner of stage, lit with red spotlight]
MCNAMEE: (spoken) Maybe I can help.

ROGER: (spoken) Mac? What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?

MCNAMEE: I was locking up the gym,
And heard your sad melody,
So I came up to deliver
A most useful remedy… [pulls out syringe]

ROGER: (spoken) Steroids? You’re not serious…

MCNAMEE: Do you think I would be joking,
With a needle in my pocket?
If you want, we’ll call it “mojo,”
Designed to fuel a Rocket.

ROGER: But won’t it shrink my peanuts,
Or make my head look fat---
MCNAMEE: No, no, don’t even worry,
There’s another pill for that.

ROGER: But does it work for pitchers?
Or just for home-run sluggers?
MCNAMEE: Why don’t you ask your teammates?
Half of them now are druggers.

ROGER: What would the children think?
My hometown cheering section?
Nolan Ryan just used Advil,
Never needed an injection---

MCNAMEE: This is just one man’s opinion
You can call my morals loose,
But if Cy Young would have had the chance,
He would have tried the juice.

[ROGER grabs the syringe, holds it up in the moonlight, and ponders the decision before him. Fade to darkness.]

That's the ticket

2008-01-18T13:51:00.001-05:00

I heard a recent story on the radio debating the merits of “political futures” markets as a predictor of this year’s presidential primaries. The idea is that while polls measure the past, futures markets gauge the future. But the futures markets have been a pretty cloudy crystal ball, as the Marketplace story explained:

"On Election Day in 2004 the Iowa Electronic Market priced John Kerry as the likely winner. On Election Day in 2006 Intrade put an 85 percent probability on the Republicans holding the Senate."

During the primaries this year, the markets seem to be more reactive than prophetic. So maybe futures are not so good for betting politics. But what about sports?

Ticket futures provide a pretty accurate reflection of the conventional wisdom of fans. At Yoonew.com, which sells futures contracts on Super Bowl tickets, the price differences heading into this week’s championship games are stark. The asking price for a New England contract for a top-notch Super Bowl seat (lower level, between the 30-yard-lines) is about $6,500 as I write this. Asking price for the same seat for San Diego is just over $1,000. In the NFC, top-notch Green Bay contracts are available for $5,100, roughly twice the price of a Giants contract. The cheapest (and riskiest) way to get that primo seat for the Super Bowl is to bet on the two underdogs on a joint New York-San Diego contract. Price tag: $361.

So that's the conventional wisdom. But is it predictive? Like the oddsmakers, ticket speculators had the Colts as a heavy favorite last weekend. On the other hand, the gap between the Giants and Cowboys was not as wide as one might have guessed (I can't access the exact figure on the yoonew site, but I think the Cowboys price was a little less than double the Giants. And I don't think that's a New York bias shining through -- if any team would be likely to have a price inflated by its broad fan base, it would be Dallas.)

Anyway, for the gamblers and economists in 'Meat nation, this may warrant more investigation. At the very least, it's something to think about on a Friday afternoon.

NFL Picks - Championship Game Weekend

2008-01-17T11:59:00.000-05:00

The Sportsmeat 2007-08 Football Pool is winding down with four people still in the running for the top spot. As we enter the penultimate weekend, I have a tenuous two-point lead over Budds, with Joe trailing by 11 points and Maxipriest by 20. There will be 10 points on the line this weekend, with each championship game worth 10 points.

The picks are straight up (no spread involved) and the games are:

AFC: San Diego Chargers vs. New England Patriots
NFC: New York Giants vs. Green Bay Packers

Choose wisely.

Politicomeat: A modest proposal

2008-01-16T15:06:00.000-05:00

Last weekend, a few of the loyal 'Meaters gathered sidled up to the bar and tipped back a few pints as we watched the Saturday games. But surprisingly, the topic du jour was politics, not sports. E.J. mentioned that he has at least one political post in the works, and I thought I'd start things off with my two ideas for reshuffling the primaries.

With all due respect to Snoop and his fellow Live-Free-or-Die-ers, this whole Iowa-New Hampshire nonsense must end. Yes, every state deserves to have a voice, but shouldn't first dibs be given to a few states that are more representative of the country as a whole? My proposal is to kick off the primary season with a joint Florida-Illinois primary day. Florida and Illinois are both relatively large states in the electoral college, their race and ethnicity demographics mirror the United States as a whole, and they're fairly "purple" states, with a good mix of Republican and Democratic interest. Florida and Illinois would give a more accurate measure of the country as a whole. Plus, having two states kicking off the season would help to cushion the advantage of a favorite son like Obama in Illinois.

Don't like that one? OK, how about this: Set five primary dates, 10 states per day, two weeks between each, and rotate them with each presidential election. Every state would be guaranteed to be in a kickoff primary every 20 years. That's fair, no? Or maybe the best thing is to have everyone vote on the same day. Or have people watch the candidates on a reality TV show and then phone in their votes. Or, or... eh, you've all stopped reading by now.

By the bye, my two cents on the T.O. pic: It's sort of a combination of Isaac Hayes and Rod Tidwell.

Mea Culpa

2008-01-15T15:06:00.000-05:00

When Tom Coughlin decided to play his starters in an otherwise meaningless game against the Patriots, I thought he was an idiot. As it turns out, it was an inspired decision. The Giants (who I thought were a 6-10 team going into the season) are in the NFC Championship game and it appears that the teams that played out the regular season have fared far better in the playoffs than the teams who rested.

The Pats and Giants both played a tough last game, while the Packers played hard and won their last game (and won three of their last four) and the Chargers won their last six in a row. Meanwhile, the Bucs rested for their last two games and lost both, the Colts rested in their regular season finale and lost, and the Cowboys closed by losing two of three, including their finale. What do these teams have in common? All were one-and-done.

I have to say the one shocker to me was the Chargers beating the Colts. I didn’t think this one would be close. Of course, I forgot (or chose to ignore, either way I was wrong) that the Chargers have played the Colts tough in the dome in the past, and I allowed last season’s Super Bowl run to wipe away the fact that the Colts typically struggle in the playoffs. Take away last year (which, I grant you, isn’t fair but works for this exercise) and Peyton Manning is 3-5 in the postseason and 2-2 at home, and in his career (including last season) he is 7-5 with 20 TDs and 17 INTs. Not bad overall, but also not representative of what he’s accomplished in the regular season. Tony Dungy, meanwhile, is 9-9 in the playoffs (again, with four of those wins coming last season).

--

In the standings, Budds closed the gap to a mere two points by taking the Chargers and putting the 2008 Sportsmeat football title up for grabs. Big Thunder and Snoop took the Giants for their 3-1 week. All games were three points last week and will be five points this upcoming weekend.

Below are the updated standings:

EJ - 202 points (6 this past weekend)
Budds - 200 (9)
Joe - 191 (3)
Maxipriest - 182 (6)
Big Thunder - 117 (9)
Dave Law - 116.5 (0)
Snoop - 106 (9)
Y.A. Shoes - 35 (0)

--

Is it just me, or does T.O. look a little like Isaac Hayes in the photo below?

2008-01-14T13:02:00.001-05:00

Best Weekend in Football

2008-01-10T13:45:00.000-05:00

The Sportsmeat Football Pool is moving toward conclusion, with only three weeks left. This week it's the divisional games, which break down as follows:

AFC - Jacksonville at New England; San Diego at Indianapolis
NFC - N.Y. Giants at Dallas; Seattle at Green Bay

We're picking the games straight up and each game is worth three points.

Sportsmeat Trivia

2008-01-09T09:39:00.001-05:00

A little trivia for Wednesday:

1. Only one player has ever won three NFL Defensive Player of the Year awards. Who is he?

2. Only one player has won the Defensive Player of the Year award with two different teams. Name him.

3. Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson currently are 1-2 in the world golf rankings. Who is No. 3?

4. Of the eight quarterbacks left in the playoffs, six of the eight finished in the Top 8 in the passer efficiency ratings. Which two did not?

5. Who's lying - Brian McNamee or Roger Clemens?

Also, here are the updated standings for the playoff pool (with college bowl series points in parentheses):

EJ - 196 (83.5)
Budds - 191 points (65)
Joe - 188 (85)
Maxipriest - 176 (70.5)
Dave Law - 116.5 (39)
Big Thunder - 108 (30)
Snoop - 97 (0)
Y.A. Shoes - 35 (0)

Share and share alike

2008-01-08T09:26:00.000-05:00

Or more proof that the Knicks are a bad team

I'm certainly not the first person to notice that, in addition to being a bunch of losers, the Knicks are enormously selfish and unwilling to share the ball. But I never imagined that the statistics would make this point so remarkably clear. Among the NBA's 30 teams, New York is the only one that has assists on less than half of its field goals this year. The top 10 teams in this category include the league's four best teams and only two with losing records (the Bulls and Clippers). The complete rankings:

Percentage of field goals assisted
New Jersey Nets 70.1%
Phoenix Suns 66.3%
Utah Jazz 64.3%
Detroit Pistons 63.4%
Boston Celtics 62.6%
Los Angeles Clippers 62.1%
Los Angeles Lakers 61.5%
Chicago Bulls 61.2%
San Antonio Spurs 60.9%
Denver Nuggets 60.7%
Portland Trail Blazers 60.6%
Indiana Pacers 60.5%
Toronto Raptors 59.9%
Charlotte Bobcats 59.9%
Atlanta Hawks 58.8%
Milwaukee Bucks 58.6%
Houston Rockets 57.5%
Dallas Mavericks 57.1%
Golden State Warriors 56.9%
Orlando Magic 56.4%
Memphis Grizzlies 56.1%
Philadelphia 76ers 55.6%
Seattle SuperSonics 55.5%
Miami Heat 55.5%
New Orleans Hornets 55.1%
Cleveland Cavaliers 53.8%
Washington Wizards 53.6%
Minnesota Timberwolves 51.0%
Sacramento Kings 50.7%
New York Knicks 48.4%

Bowl Series Champion - LSU? Ohio State? Try Joe

2008-01-07T09:45:00.000-05:00

It was a mighty good weekend for Joe, who wrapped up the Second Sportsmeat Bowl Series title when Rutgers blew out Ball State, and then proceeded to post the Meat's only 4-0 wild-card weekend.

Below are the updated standings as well as standings for the bowl series. Tonight's pride points on the line are as follows:

LSU - Dave Law (5), EJ (10), Joe (5), Maxipriest (5)
Ohio State - Big Thunder (5), Budds (5),

Sportsmeat Football Pool
(Not including bowl series points) - (this week's NFL playoff points in parentheses):
Budds - 126 points (6)
EJ - 112.5 (6)
Maxipriest - 105.5 (4)
Joe - 103 (8)
Snoop - 97 (0)
Dave Law - 77.5 (0)
Big Thunder - 78 (4)
Y.A. Shoes - 35 (4)

Bowl Series Points:
Joe - 80 (5 possible points remaining) (85 best-case)
EJ - 73.5 points (10) (83.5)
Maxipriest - 65.5 (5) (70.5)
Budds - 65 (5) (70)
Dave Law - 34 (5) (39)
Big Thunder - 30 (5) (35)

End of the lines

2008-01-04T12:03:00.000-05:00

Time is short, our heels are dragging, and Wild Card Weekend is a day away. So here's the deal: For Pride Points in the NFL playoffs, we'll pick winners only (no lines). Games are worth two points in the first week, three in the second, five in the third, and 10 for the Super Bowl. This week:

Washington at Seattle
Jacksonville at Pittsburgh
NY Giants at Tampa Bay
Tennessee at San Diego

Bowl Tourney Update - Jan. 3, 2008

2008-01-02T10:32:00.000-05:00

There are four bowl games remaining, so Snoop and Y.A. Shoes still have a chance to join the fray, at least partially, but as it currently stands, we're looking at a two-man race for the second Sportsmeat bowl series title.

Joe controls his own destiny but has a lot riding on Rutgers (27 points); incidentally, everyone else but Dave Law has five points riding on the Scarlet Knights. As to the overall bowl winner, only Joe and I are still in contention.

Below are the current standings, with points remaining and highest possible score in parentheses. Also coming soon: The NFL Playoffs.

EJ - 68.5 points (15 possible points remaining) (83.5 best score)
Maxipriest - 60.5 (15) (75.5)
Budds - 60 (10) (70)
Joe - 53 (32) (85)
Dave Law - 34 (5) (39)
Big Thunder - 25 (10) (35)

Sportsmeat Bowl Tournament Reminder

2007-12-27T10:32:00.000-05:00

The bowl season has commenced, and a few people have already accrued points (led by BT, who picked up 20 on Utah).

However, we still have the following outstanding:

-) Dave Law - you need to pick the national championship game
-) Snoop and Y.A. Shoes - we still need your picks.

That about does it. Happy Bowling!

Updated Standings - 12/27

2007-12-27T10:26:00.001-05:00

Taking a little sting out of Boise losing to East Carolina (and taking 11 of my pride points with it) was a 4-0 week for the NFL picks Week 16. Dave Law was the only other Meater to post a winning record on the week, collecting six points.

Below are the updated standings:

Budds - 120 points (2)
EJ - 106.5 (8)
Maxipriest - 101.5 (2)
Snoop - 97 (0)
Joe - 95 (4)
Dave Law - 77.5 (6)
Big Thunder - 74 (2)
Y.A. Shoes - 31 (0)

Four million hot dogs

2007-12-20T14:54:00.000-05:00

My memory is hazy, but I believe there's a John Candy movie in which he succinctly explains the contents of a hot dog. Lips and something. I'll leave it to the rest of you to look that one up. Still, I eat them anyway, usually on the golf course, at BBQs, and especially at baseball games. I'm not alone. According to this bit of knowledge from the New York Times and my back-o-the-mustard-stained-napkin calculation, New York baseball fans alone consumed more than four million dogs last year, a number that would make Joey Chestnut's cheeks burst with pride. The details:

The Executive Pursuits column in Business Day on May 5, about selling hot dogs at Shea Stadium, misinterpreted a survey by the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council and referred incorrectly to hot dog sales at Shea. Although the stadium sells an average of just under 20,000 hot dogs a game, and ranks No. 1 among major league ballparks who responded to the questionnaire from the hot dog council, Shea does not lead all ballparks in sales. It trails Yankee Stadium, which sells about 30,000 a game but did not answer the survey. (A reader raised the issue after an article on May 11 about the introduction of Latin food at Yankee Stadium mentioned the higher figure for the Yankees. Unfortunately for the reader, who vowed not to “consume any dogs at either stadium until it has been settled,” this correction was delayed for research, but the Mets have a home game tomorrow night.)

This comes from Regret the Error's annual list of the best media errors and corrections. Click here to read the whole list.

Miscellany (and NFL Picks)

2007-12-19T15:07:00.001-05:00

Some random thoughts in the form of one post.

Discussion Question: Is Emmitt Smith the worst analyst ever? This question was prompted by his incredibly douchebaggy "offer" to "let" Adrian Peterson ask "the all-time leading rusher" any advice after this week's MNF game. To AP's credit, he has much better on-screen presence (and grammar) than Emmitt. Perhaps he was a grammar major.

Note how Steve Young starts laughing, thinking Emmitt's "offer" is a joke, then stops when he realizes that Emmitt is being serious.

Other examples of Emmitt's analytical shortcomings:

The Texans are a "fortible" opponent that should not be "slipped" on. It confuses Stu Scott so much that he goes cross-eyed for a second. At least I think that's the reason...

The NFC West is one of the weakest conferences in the NFC. Also, Alex Smith has to learn three different offenses every year.

Those are all that haven't been removed by ESPN. However, Awful Announcing and The Angry T credit the following gems to ES:

"[Adrian Peterson] is redefining the way teams defend the running ability."

"If you want to stay perfect, you cannot go undefeated with a blemish on your record."

On whether the Cowboys are on the same level as the Pats and the Colts:
"The Dallas Cowboys are not far behind. They are a distant third. They're close but they're not quite there yet."

On Randy Moss:
"You can't change the stripes on a leopard." [stated more than once]

After Serbia's recent loss to Greece in international play, Darko Milicic was angry. I woulda never guessed it, but you don't want to see Darko Angry.

Did you know that an NHL player just got a 30 game suspension? I had no idea, and I've watched Sportscenter multiple times this week. Just shows that the NHL has really slipped. Anyhow, clips like this are a good reason to watch:

Finally, if you are not reading Agent Zero's blog, you are doing yourself a disservice. He's brutally honest, funny, and legitimately insightful. Check it out.

NFL Picks Time

That was festive.

Here are the games:

PATS -22 Phins

VIKINGS -7 Skins

Browns -3 BENGALS

JAGS -13.5 Raiders

BT takes Pats, Skins, Browns and Raiders

BBD takes Phins, Vikings, Browns and Raiders.

EJ wants to elaborate a bit. He says, "I'll take the Dolphins - how much fun would 0-14 vs. 14-0 have been? I have to say, though, I wasn't that upset that the Dolphins won. It's hard to root against an 0-13 team, especially when they're playing Ray Lewis.

"Redskins - this is probably not a smart pick, but I don't see how the Vikes are winning with Tavaris Jackson and Brooks Bollinger. [Ed. note - the "This team can't be as good/bad as they look" logic nearly always leads to an incorrect pick. I know from experience.]

"Bengals - no way the Browns go 11-5, though for some reason I can palate 10-6; plus the Bengals aren't THIS bad, so this is an even-out game (is this shaping up as 0-4 week for me or what?). [Ed. note - see Ed. note above.]

"Jags - I'm on the Jags' bandwagon, no reason to jump off now, though that is a big spread for a team with a good D (Raiders) and a team that doesn't score a ton (Jags). I'm counting on a 21-7 win there."

Diatribes, rants and random thoughts

2007-12-18T14:19:00.001-05:00

Well, it appears we have the de rigueur excuse of the steroids era, and give Andy Pettitte credit for coming up with it. In a pathetic statement to the press—“If what I did was an error in judgment on my part, I apologize,” Pettitte said, ignoring the obvious fact that what he did WAS in fact an error in judgment, unless he meant that he planned on cheating all along—Pettitte said he used HGH to help recover from an injury but that he never used steroids.

Fernando Vina, who managed to be even more pathetic despite a fairly sympathetic interview on ESPN, which employs him, used the same excuse, though he became somewhat absent-minded when it came to all the checks he wrote to Radomski in the ensuing years. Gary Bennett, who I had no idea was still playing, used the excuse as well.

I think, at this point, I’m too jaded for all this, to the point where I’m no longer objective or fair. I have a hard time believing any of these guys because, frankly, they haven’t given me much reason to. When asked if he responded to George Mitchell, who apparently contacted Vina and his agent, Vina said he had heard something about Mitchell wanting to talk to him, but wanted to put it all behind him. My guess is that “something” was his agent saying, “Fernando, George Mitchell wants to talk to you.” He ignored this, borrowing a learned tool from the Mark McGwire School of Cowardice.

Nothing can change what’s been done. It’s nearly impossible to consider any baseball stat from 1995-2004 (give or take) to have much legitimacy. Roger Clemens’ name is all-but-erased from the argument of the best pitcher of all-time (because who knows how many Cy Youngs he deserved—by the way, why isn’t he talking?) and I will never consider Barry Bonds as the home run king.

Heroes and idols have become frauds in increasingly greater numbers. The more realistic approach is that everyone makes mistakes and no one likes owning up to those mistakes. I can understand that, so maybe I’m being unfair in asking for a little honesty at this point. Of course, maybe by now it’s too late anyway.

Other random thoughts from the weekend past:

-) The Pats will probably go 16-0, but it won’t be an easy road to the Super Bowl if they have to beat the Jaguars and Colts. That was an impressive win over the Steelers on Sunday. I think the Jags are right there with the Cowboys for the third-best team in the NFL.

-) The Jets are a mess. The O-line stinks despite drafting two linemen in the first round in 2006, they seem to lack a dynamic playmaker on offense (closest thing being Leon Washington), they have no deep threat at wideout and no clue who their QB is next week or next year. Oh, and they desperately need a pass rusher. I know teams can turn around quickly in the NFL, but I’m not encouraged.

-) It’s time to let Isaiah go. I guess he’s trying every motivational ploy by calling out his players, but he loses some right to bitch when he’s the one who assembled the team. Randolph and Curry clearly can’t play together, the starting 5 is all offense the three primary reserves mostly defense, which adds up to nothing good. This should have been done five years ago, but better late than never—tear down this team and start over. Perhaps by trading anyone on the roster for a point guard (perhaps T.J. Ford if Calderon is the guy in Toronto).

-) Great hire by Michigan. Rich Rodriguez is one of the best coaches in college football, an upgrade on Lloyd Carr and a better game coach than Les Miles. Michigan may have stumbled through this process pretty badly, but it (save the $4 mil they have to fork over in a buyout clause) came through as well as I could have possibly imagined.

-) Kudos to Budds on the below field hockey analogy. Apt and made me laugh out loud. Nice work!

Don't forget - Bowl season is coming

2007-12-18T09:41:00.000-05:00

So far, only three 'Meaters have made their picks in the Sportsmeat College Football Bowl Game Final Jeopardy-Like Prognostication Fiasco (the "SCFBGFJLPF" or "What is Mount Soovius?"). From my days covering local sports for a newspaper, I'd say this thing is sort of like high school field hockey: The rules are confusing, there's a lot of pride on the line (and not much else), and when it's all over, win or lose, there's going to be a pizza party at Caitlin's house. OK, maybe not the last part.

CLICK HERE to see the details.

Mediocrity, thy name is Sportsmeat

2007-12-17T10:36:00.000-05:00

Once again proving that picking against Vegas is a 50-50 proposition, Sportsmeat essentially split its games this week. Of the seven people who submitted picks this week, four went 2-2 and the total for the week was 13-15. Joe won the week with a late switch from the Pats to the Jets, who scored a whopping three points in four trips to the red zone yesterday and who remind me every week how much they suck.

Anyway, here are the updated totals (this week in parentheses):

Budds - 118 points (4)
Maxipriest - 99.5 (4)
EJ - 98.5 (4)
Snoop - 97 (0)
Joe - 91 (6)
Big Thunder - 72 (2)
Dave Law - 71.5 (4)
Y.A. Shoes - 31 (2)

Week 15 Picks

2007-12-14T15:26:00.000-05:00

Ok, for week 15 we're going with the two best games of the week (Bills-Browns, go figure), the biggest spread in NFL history and perhaps the worst team in NFL history (that's right, the road to 0-16 rolls on). Here goes:

Ravens 3 DOLPHINS
BROWNS 5.5 Bills
PATRIOTS 24 Jets
STEELERS 4 Jaguars

BT takes the AFC East: Dolphins, Bills, Patriots and Steelers
Budds selects the AFC North: Ravens, Browns, Jets and Steelers
And I'll split the bill and add an AFC South: Ravens, Bills, Jets and Jags

Mitchell mania

2007-12-13T15:44:00.000-05:00

I haven't had much of a chance to digest the news from the Mitchell report, but I did check out a PDF of the complete release on the NYT site. One very brief segment that really says it all:

According to the notes of an internal discussion among Los Angeles Dodgers officials in October 2003 that were referred to above, it was reportedly said of Lo Duca during the meetings:

Steroids aren’t being used anymore on him. Big part of this.
Might have some value to trade . . . Florida might have interest.
. . . Got off the steroids . . . Took away a lot of hard line drives.
. . . Can get comparable value back would consider trading. . . . If
you do trade him, will get back on the stuff and try to show you he
can have a good year. That’s his makeup. Comes to play. Last
year of contract, playing for 05.

By 2003, baseball officials were incorporating the steroid issue as just another tool in their player evaluations. Good arm, poor speed, hits for power, no longer on 'roids (or something like that). This will take a long time to undo, if baseball really wants to undo it.

Obviously, You Are A Bowler

2007-12-13T13:08:00.000-05:00

As we mentioned in the last post's comments, it is time for the Sportsmeat College Football Bowl Game Final Jeopardy-Like Prognostication Fiasco (the "SCFBGFJLPF").

Here are the rules:

1) Each player must pick at least 5 bowl games on which to wager.
2) Each player must wager at least 5 points on each game.
3) Each player must make a pick on the championship game.
4) Nobody may wager more than 50% of their available points on any one game.
5) Each player must wager all of their points (BBD must wager a total of 114 points, Dave Law must wager 67.5, etc.).

Again, here's the standings:

Budds - 114 points
Snoop - 97
Maxipriest - 95.5
EJ - 94.5
Joe - 85
Big Thunder - 70
Dave Law - 67.5
Y.A. Shoes - 29

For sanity's sake, I'm not dealing in half points. So here is the largest wager amount available to each contestant:

Budds - 57 points
Snoop - 49
Maxipriest - 48
EJ - 48
Joe - 43
Big Thunder - 35
Dave Law - 34
Y.A. Shoes - 15

Here are the bowls (picking straight up -- not against the spread):

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia
Utah vs. Navy

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Memphis vs. Florida Atlantic

Papajohns.com Bowl
Southern Miss vs. Cincinnati

New Mexico
Nevada vs. New Mexico

Pioneer Las Vegas
UCLA vs. BYU

Sheraton Hawaii
Boise State vs. East Carolina

Motor City
Purdue vs. Central Michigan

Pacific Life Holiday
Arizona State vs. Texas

Champs Sports
Boston College vs. Michigan State

Texas
TCU vs. Houston

Emerald
Maryland vs. Oregon State

Meineke Car Care
UConn vs. Wake Forest

AutoZone Liberty
UCF vs. Mississippi State

Valero Alamo
Penn State vs. Texas A&M

PetroSun Independence
Alabama vs. Colorado

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces
California vs. Air Force

Roady's Humanitarian
Georgia Tech vs. Fresno State

Brut Sun
South Florida vs. Oregon

Gaylord Hotels Music City
Kentucky vs. Florida State

Insight
Indiana vs. Oklahoma State

Chick-fil-A
Clemson vs. Auburn

Outback
Wisconsin vs. Tennessee

AT&T Cotton
Missouri vs. Arkansas

Konica Minolta Gator
Texas Tech vs. Virginia

Capital One
Michigan vs. Florida

Rose Bowl presented by Citi
Illinois vs. USC

Allstate Sugar
Hawaii vs. Georgia

Tostitos Fiesta
Oklahoma vs. West Virginia

FedEx Orange
Virginia Tech vs. Kansas

International
Rutgers vs. Ball State

GMAC
Bowling Green vs. Tulsa

Allstate BCS Championship Game
LSU vs. Ohio State

Put your picks in the comments. Also, if you have any questions, fire away soon.

Discussion Topics:

1) TJ Ford went to the hospital (again) after somehow landing on his head following an Al Horford foul. Horford was ejected from the game. Over 60% on ESPN.com think Horford should be suspended, fined, or both. What's your take on that play?

**Please note -- the picture at the right is not from Tuesday's game. It is from 2004 -- the other time Ford was taken off the court on a stretcher with his head immobilized.

2) The Mitchell report supposedly names Roger Clemens as a juicer. Does this surprise you? If so, are you F'ing retarded? Did anyone not see this coming? What's next? Bret Boone? Maybe Brady Anderson or Luis Gonzalez? Discuss.

Can anyone catch Budds?

2007-12-10T10:20:00.000-05:00

It's getting a little late in the game and Budds has settled into a commanding lead, after everyone had either six (everyone but me and Joe) or two (me and Joe) points this week. I picked against the Patriots because I always pick against the Patriots, but I have yet to figure out why I took the Ravens (since I can't stand them) and I found out shortly after picking the Cardinals that they were missing both Pro Bowl receivers (minus-2 points for not doing your homework).

Alas, it may not matter. Budds is now up 17 points on Snoop for second place, while a mere 2.5 points separate second place from fourth. To deny Budds a second consecutive title, someone will need to make a run during the college football sportsmeat spectacular or the NFL playoffs, where points abound.

Overall Points (points this week):
Budds 114 points (6)
Snoop 97 (6)
Maxipriest 95.5 (6)
EJ 94.5 (2)
Joe 85 (2)
Big Thunder 70 (6)
Dave Law 67.5 (6)
Y.A. Shoes 29 (0)

A man with a bus

2007-12-07T13:18:00.003-05:00

So at a Christmas party last weekend, I talked to a friend who now owns a bus. A short bus, once a school bus, painted white and available for rental. It's been reconfigured to seat 12 comfortably (sadly, ample room for all of the 'meat nation) and has a restroom of sorts in the back (I won't go into detail other than to say No. 1 only).

My question for the group is this -- when are we renting this thing and where are we taking it? Creativity encouraged.

You can include your suggestions with this week's picks:

TENNESSEE PK San Diego
SEATTLE -6.5 Arizona
NEW ENGLAND -10.5 Pittsburgh
Indianapolis -9.5 BALTIMORE

E.J. takes the Chargers and the dogs -- Cards, Steelers and Ravens.
Big Thunder is going with the Chargers, Cards, Pats and Colts.
Budds has the Chargers, Seahawks, Steelers and Colts.

Rhymes with Theisman (well, after you change the pronunciation of your name)

2007-12-06T13:37:00.000-05:00

By far the coolest part of my short-lived stint as a sports writer was having a Heisman ballot for three years. My guys – Willis McGahee, Larry Fitzgerald and Adrian Peterson – didn’t win, but it was cool knowing that one of those first-place votes in parentheses came from me.

My forum now is Sportsmeat, which is far better because it has fewer voters than the Heisman race (which is a little ridiculous, evidenced by me having a Heisman vote in the first place). Anyway, I’m curious what other people think about the race, but here’s how my ballot would break down:

1. Tim Tebow, QB, Florida. Other than his team’s three losses, I’m not sure what a voter could hold against him. (And keep in mind, those three losses came to No. 2 LSU, No. 4 Georgia and No. 20 Auburn, and Tebow had 4 TDs, 2 INTs and 4 rushing TDs in those games.) Yes, he’s a sophomore, but who cares? He amassed an astounding 51 touchdowns and had more rushing TDs than Darren McFadden (22 to 15). Most importantly, he proved an excellent throwing quarterback. QB rating is a misleading stat, but he was No. 2 in that measure. More importantly, he threw for 3,132 yards and showed accuracy (69 percent completion) and intelligence (six INTs against 29 TDs). The three losses are a mark against him, but in a two-man race with McFadden (whose Razorbacks have four losses), it shouldn’t be an issue.

2. Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas. Most project him as the most talented college football player in the country and he certainly had a fine season. Despite sharing time with Felix Jones (who rushed for 1,117 yards) and facing teams that stacked the line of scrimmage against him, McFadden ran for 1,725 yards and had 21 receptions for 164 yards. He even threw for a TD against LSU, and you know a running back is valuable when, in the most important drive of the season, he is the one playing QB so he can touch the ball on every snap. And that 34-carry, 321-yard rushing performance against South Carolina was a gem.

3. Dennis Dixon, QB, Oregon. I’m not making the argument that he was so valuable his team crumbled without him. To me, that is an indictment of his backups. But Dixon was amazing before his injury, which is the real shame of the college football season (and painful to see Oregon crumble down the stretch). Dixon was having a great year, running the play-action better than anyone I’ve seen (college or pro) and demonstrating complete command of the offense. Had he not been injured, I really believe Oregon would have gone 11-1, and perhaps Tebow wouldn’t be the QB holding the Heisman.

Just off the ballot: 4. Chase Daniel, Missouri; 5. Glenn Dorsey, LSU; 6. Pat White, West Virginia.

The Law Won

2007-12-02T20:42:00.000-05:00

Dave Law made the big move this week, posting the only 4-0 effort among the posters, followed by Snoop at 3-1. Here are the updated standings:

Overall Points (points this week):
Budds 108 points (4)
EJ 92.5 (2)
Snoop 91 (6)
Maxipriest 89.5 (0)
Joe 83 (4)
Big Thunder 64 (2)
Dave Law 61.5 (8)
Y.A. Shoes 29 (0)

BCS

2007-11-30T16:22:00.000-05:00

This gentleman accurately summarizes my feelings regarding all current sports topics:

Picks, picks, picks

2007-11-30T12:09:00.000-05:00

Don't miss 'em this week. NFL only, as there's only one Mad Dog left in college...

MINNESOTA Detroit +3
INDIANAPOLIS Jacksonville +7
NEW ORLEANS Tampa Bay +3
N.Y Giants CHICAGO +2

Big Thunder is on the favorite train with the Vikings, Colts, Saints, and Giants.
EJ likes the Lions, Jags, Saints, and Bears.
Budds picks the Lions, Colts, Bucs, and Bears.

Better late than ...

2007-11-30T01:27:00.000-05:00

Ok. Since we kind of botched last week's posting of the standings, we're going to scale everything down -- so it's one point for each game and, well, Maxipriest's 0-for-4 is going to cost him 2.5 points rather than 5. Here are the updated standings with last week's points in parentheses:

Budds 104 points (2)
EJ 90.5 (4)
Maxipriest 89.5 (-2.5)
Snoop 85 (2)
Joe 79 (0)
Big Thunder 62 (0)
Dave Law 53.5 (0)
Y.A. Shoes 29 (0)

And by the way, if anyone can work Budds' Youtube post below into future weddings I attend, that would be excellent.

Little in the middle, but...

2007-11-29T15:56:00.001-05:00

Wait for it...

The Playoff Solution

2007-11-26T14:34:00.000-05:00

I’ve floated this before but I’m not sure if I ever put in on paper. So here goes. Once again the BCS is a mess and once again people are clamoring for a playoff. My proposal is to go back to an 11-game season and add an eight-team playoff that would look like this:

-) The winners of the six BCS conferences and two at-large teams.
-) If a non-BCS school finishes in the Top 12 of the BCS, it gets in. (If there are three such teams, the Top 2 get in.)
-) The at-large selections are decided by BCS rankings.

Thus, this year’s field would currently look like this:
ACC: Virginia Tech
Big East: West Virginia
Big Ten: Ohio State
Big 12: Missouri
Pac-10: USC
SEC: LSU
At-Large Qualifier: Hawaii
At-Large: Georgia

Ranked in BCS order, we’d have:
1) Missouri vs. 8) Hawaii
2) West Virginia vs. 7) USC
3) Ohio State vs. 6) LSU
4) Georgia vs. 5) Va. Tech

I’m not really that concerned where the games are played. The bowl sites should be utilized at some point (perhaps the first round hosted by the home team, semis at the Sugar and Orange Bowls, with the final at the Rose Bowl and the Fiesta getting the two best teams not in the playoff), but it doesn’t really matter. It’s that they play.

System Failure (blame the turkey)

2007-11-23T14:57:00.000-05:00

Ok, so we dropped the ball on getting the picks out early this week. BT made the selections on Tuesday and Budds and I both took the Pack. Of course, you guys didn't know this.

So here goes with the other picks. Since there is no 20-point dog in college football this week, we're gonna add a college game to the picks. So here are BT's selections:

PITTSBURGH -16 Miami
NEW ENGLAND -22 Philly
Green Bay -3.5 DETROIT
KANSAS -2 Missouri (In KC)

I took the Pack, Dolphins, Eagles and Mizzou.
Budds took the Pack, Steelers, Eagles and Kanas.

And to replace the Packers-Lions (and in honor of double-digit spread week) we'll throw out:

ARIZONA -10.5 San Francisco

Warhawks Rule!

2007-11-20T12:23:00.000-05:00

How do you go 1-3 picking NFL games and consider the week a total success? When UL-Monroe knocks off Alabama. Budds and I both picked the Warhawks, offsetting poor NFL predicting weekends to earn 17 points. Overall, it was a tough week for the Sportsmeat crew. No other dogs covered, and only Thunder and Maxipriest broke even on the NFL games (going 2-2, everyone else went 1-3).

Here are the updated standings (points this week in parentheses):

Budds 102 points (17)
Maxipriest 92 (4)
EJ 86.5 (17)
Snoop 83 (2)
Joe 79 (2)
Big Thunder 62 (4)
Dave Law 53.5 (2)
Y.A. Shoes 29 (0)

Madness, I tell ya

2007-11-16T15:05:00.000-05:00

This week's picks, also posted on the comment thread of Biggest Loser by the Large Partner of Lightning...

N.Y Giants 2½ DETROIT
JACKSONVILLE 3 San Diego
DENVER 2½ Tennessee
MINNESOTA 6 Oakland

And here are the dogs:

KANSAS 26½ Iowa State
BOISE ST. 34 Idaho
ALABAMA 24½ UL Monroe
FLORIDA 34 Florida Atlantic

BT picked the Giants, Jags, Titans and Raiders, with Idaho as his doggies.
Budds went with the Giants (though cheering for the reverse), Chargers, Titans, and Raiders, with U.L. Monroe (the Warhawks -- had to look that one up).
EJ chose the games but I can't find his picks in my inbox.

The Biggest Loser

2007-11-15T15:07:00.000-05:00

So it looks like A-Rod is going back to the Yankees, reuniting two things I can't stand. Do as the dust settles, it's time to determine who is the biggest loser in this beatiful union:

Candidate #1: Scott Boras
The Skinny: Filed for free agency on the last day of the World Series, earning a rebuke from the commissioner's office. Promised to ignite a bidding way and make A-Rod baseball's first $300 million man.
The case for: Now, he essentially gets booted out of negotiation as A-Rod goes to Florida to meet with Yankees' brass sans Boras, meaning he will have little to do with the eventual signing.
The case against: Six percent of $280 mil is still pretty sweet.

Candidate #2: A-Rod
The Skinny: Baseball's best player and self-absorbed superstar forgoes big money in an extension to become a free agent.
The case for: A-Rod had to essentially come crawling back to the Yanks in an effort to earn the money that didn't appear available on the open market. This whole charade will do nothing to furhter endear him to Yankee fans.
The case against: He'll be making $28 million as a 43-year-old.

Candidate #3: The Yankees
The Skinny: Hal (or Hank, I can't keep them straight) Steinbrenner said the Yanks had no use for A-Rod if he opted out, which cost them $21 million in salary that was being paid by the Rangers.
The case for: Yanks said they were done with A-Rod, now accept him back at market value and lose the $21 mil (the Yanks say the $21 mil was factored into the contract, which then makes this contract worth more than $300 mil by my specious reasoning).
The case against: The Yanks have the best third baseman in baseball locked up for 10 years, which will be lucrative as A-Rod chases Hank Aaron's legitimate home run record and Barry Bonds' illegitimate home run record.

So I put it to Sportsmeat nation (we're a small nation, like Belize)? Who's the biggest loser?

Best Assh#le in Texas, and other thoughts

2007-11-13T14:12:00.000-05:00

Quick hits from the weekend:

-) I think because I can’t stand the guy, I tend to ignore how good he is, but Terrell Owens was the best player on the field Sunday against the Giants. He absolutely killed them—making a couple of tough catches and showing good speed for a man his age (34 next month) and size (6-foot-3, 225). The game was also an illustration of how far Tony Romo has come. He’s a legit Top 5 QB in the NFL right now, perhaps behind only Brady, Manning and Favre this season.

-) The most interesting thing about the Pats going 16-0 is whether they’ll keep playing their starters in the last few games if they’ve already wrapped up home field. The 13-0 Colts from a few year’s back probably proved that it’s not good to rest for the last three games (went 0-3 and lost to the Steelers in Round 1) but what about Week 17? It’s Pats at Giants, and the Ginters may have something to play for. Also to keep in mind, the biggest spread in NFL history is 24 points (Steelers-Bucs in 1976). Jets at Pats in Week 15 figures to test that.

-) There’s a lot of sadness in the Sportsmeat family over St. Louis’ win on Sunday, but I’d rather see the Dolphins go 0-16, so it’s still OK. And why is Shula trying to trash the Pats’ run to 16-0? Even if what he says has merit, it just comes across as the 1972 Dolphins whining more about their record. I’d love to see someone make that team have to chill the champagne for a whole season, I just don’t want it to be the Patriots.

-) The Heisman race is down to two players: Oregon’s Dennis Dixon and Florida’s Tim Tebow. Dixon has his team in the championship race, while Tebow’s team has three losses, but Tebow’s stats are absurd. Tebow is currently second in the passer ratings (Dixon is fourth), leads the nation in passing yards per attempt (Dixon is 11th) and has 23 TDs against five INTs (Dixon has 20 TDs and three picks).

All in all, I’d still say advantage Dixon based on his team’s record, but it’s Tebow’s rushing that could make the difference. Tebow is third in the nation with 19 rushing TDs (by comparison, Darren McFadden has 12) and has 718 yards rushing (Dixon goes eight TDs and 549 yards rushing). Right now, if I had a vote, I’d go 1. Tebow; 2. Dixon; 3. Chase Daniel, Missouri.

-) My current Top 10: 1. LSU; 2. Oregon; 3. Oklahoma; 4. Kansas; 5. West Virginia; 6. Ohio State; 7. Missouri; 8. Arizona State; 9. Georgia; 10. Florida.

Couple of notes here: The Oklahoma-Kansas call is a tough one because while Oklahoma dominates at home (avg. score: 53-15), they’re suspect on the road (avg. score: 33-19), but Kansas has yet to play Mizzou and does not play Oklahoma, Texas or Texas Tech, so they’re tough to judge. As to Nos. 5-7, they could go in any order, and Missouri jumps the pack with a win over Kansas. And as to No. 10, I know Florida has three losses but they also have wins over Tennessee, Kentucky and South Carolina, while USC and Va. Tech are lacking in quality wins (and USC lost to Stanford).

Perfect Week Tightens Race at the Top

2007-11-12T11:40:00.000-05:00

It was a big weekend for Budds, who ran the table with a 4-0 week in the NFL and picked the only cover, UAB, which lost by 14 to UCF in a game I would otherwise never have known the score of. The weekend moves Budds into second place as we gear up for the stretch run to the grand finale -- the college bowl special and the NFL playoffs.

Updated Standings:
Maxipriest 88 points (4)
Budds 85 (13)
Snoop 81 (6)
Joe 77 (11)
EJ 69.5 (6)
Big Thunder 58 (4)
Dave Law 51.5 (2)
Y.A. Shoes 29 (0)

Everybody loves Koy

2007-11-09T11:29:00.000-05:00

Except Packer fans. America's favorite belt-whipping, placekick-holding, elbow-separating, cheap-clothes-wearing quarterback, Koy Detmer, returns to the NFL this week with the Vikings. Jeff George was available, but Brad Childress went with Koy boy instead. Hey, he can't be worse than the rest of their QBs. Anyway, enough with the chit chat. The picks:

TITANS Jags +4
STEELERS Browns +9.5
PACKERS Vikings +6 (Will Koy break out the whip?)
Cowboys GIANTS +1

And the dogs:
Penn State 24.5 TEMPLE
Boise St. 24.5 UTAH STATE
Central Fla 20 UAB
LSU 36.5 Louisiana Tech

Big Thunder is big on the Jags, Steelers, Vikings, and Cowboys, plus Temple, with its biggest home crowd of the year and about five percent of the fans cheering for the home team.
Budds picks the Jags, Browns, Packers, and Cowboys, along with UAB.
EJ likes the Jags, Browns, Vikes, and Cowboys, and he chose Temple.

Melrose: I meant mullet, not wallet

2007-11-07T12:52:00.000-05:00

ESPN's Barry Melrose has apologized for his recent comment about the Newark hockey arena -- "Don't go outside if you have a wallet or anything else, because the area around the arena is just horrible" -- a comment that, by Jersey insult standards, is pretty mild. While I do appreciate Mayor Cory Booker sticking up for his city, Melrose might have been justified if he had indeed been pickpocketed or harassed in Newark. I mean, it happens. But he never even went to the arena, let alone to the area outside it.
In retaliation, I'm trying to come up with an insult to Melrose's hometown, which, according to Wikipedia, is Kelvington, Saskatchewan, a thriving metropolis of nearly 900 hearty souls that I clearly have never visited. But I hear the women there don't shave their armpits, and their boots smell like apple cider vinegar. Oh, and I wouldn't walk down the street there if your hat has antlers because somebody might shoot you.
I'll apologize tomorrow.

Pride Point Update - 11/5/07

2007-11-05T10:31:00.000-05:00

Not too much movement in the Pride Point Bowl this week, with the big winner (Dave Law at nine points courtesy a Utah State cover) and the last-place finisher (Snoop, via his love of the Pats) separated by just five points. Joe and I led the NFL picks by going 4-0, with Budds, Y.A. Shoes and leader Maxipriest all going 3-1.

Here are your updated standings:

Maxipriest 84 points (6)
Snoop 75 (4)
Budds 73 (6)
Joe 66 (8)
EJ 63.5 (8)
Big Thunder 54 (7)
Dave Law 49.5 (9)
Y.A. Shoes 29 (6)

a-Pickin' and a-Grinnin'

2007-11-01T19:11:00.000-04:00

Let's get to it. THE GAME OF THE CENTURY:

Patriots -5.5 COLTS

OK, after everyone has had a cigarette and relaxed from thinking about THE GAME OF THE CENTURY, we can move on to the rest of the field. In honor of Michigan State's Kyle Sackrider, we will pick games featuring some of the NFL's most fearsome sack-men.

Dallas (DeMarcus Ware - 5.5 sacks) -3 PHILLY (Trent Cole - 9 sacks)

KANSAS CITY (Jared Allen - 8 sacks) -2 Green Bay (Aaron Kampmen - 8 sacks)

CLEVELAND (Kamerion Wimbley - 3 sacks) -1 Seattle (Julian Peterson - 7 sacks)

Also, we got dogs:

BYU -21 Colo. St.
Texas Tech -21 BAYLOR
BOISE St -25.5 San Jose St.
TENNESSEE -28.5 Lou. Lafayette
FRESNO ST. -20.5 Utah St
OKLAHOMA - 21 Tex. A&M

Buddhizzle takes Dallas, Green Bay, Cleveland, Tex. A&M, and THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (making the dreaded pick-against-your-team move, virtually ensuring that the Eagles will lose by 2, making him a double loser)

EJizzle takes Dallas, Green Bay, Cleveland, Tex. A&M (yes, the same freaking teams) and THE INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (EJ is taking the Colts "based purely on principle" -- perhaps an example of pride trumping pride points?)

BTizzle takes Philly, Green Bay, Seattle, Utah St. and THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (who will win by double digits, if not triple)

Chatter

2007-10-30T15:14:00.000-04:00

Other than the weekly picks, Sportsmeat has been deathly silent over the last few months (which probably speaks to the quality of the recent blogs, BT's Cosby-faced Sabathia as the exception), so it's time to get back to our roots as a call-in show.

So here are a few things to ponder for the Sportsmeat audience:

1. Where is A-Rod going? Candidates seem to include the Angels, Cubs, Dodgers, Giants, Mets, Red Sox and Tigers (though I wouldn't write off the Yanks either).

2. What are the chances of the Cheaters-Colts winner going 16-0 this year?

3. Conversely, who has the better shot at 0-16? The Dolphins or Rams?

4. Did Belichick run up the score on the Skins last weekend?

5. Who is No. 2 in the country? LSU, BC, Oregon, Arizona State or Oklahoma?

6. Should the Bulls take a chance on Kobe?

Pride Point Update - Week 8

2007-10-29T10:39:00.000-04:00

After watching his lead slowly shrink over the past few weeks, Maxipriest came through with a Sportsmeat-leading 11 points this week to establish command in the pride pool. Maxi got 3 of 4 NFL games and picked Nebraska to cover (only Nebraska and Iowa State covered this week, again proving that while Hawaii sucks on the road, they're excellent at home, and FIU truly is the worst team in Division I-A).

Total points (point this week):

Maxipriest 78 points (11)
Snoop 71 (9)
Budds 67 (7)
Joe 58 (6)
EJ 55.5 (8)
Big Thunder 47 (4)
Dave Law 40.5 (2)
Y.A. Shoes 23 (0)

Better Late than Never

2007-10-26T16:33:00.000-04:00

In our continued pursuit of the race to 0-16, and considering the lack of compelling games this week, the Dolphins and Rams are once more on the docket, plus the two games with the closest spreads.

Here goes (home teams in caps):

Cleveland 3 ST LOUIS
N.Y Giants 9 MIAMI
New Orleans 2½ SAN FRANCISCO
Philadelphia 1 MINNESOTA

As to the dogs, they are as follows:

MICHIGAN 22½ Minnesota
MISSOURI 29 Iowa State
KANSAS STATE 25 Baylor
TEXAS 20½ Nebraska
HAWAII 29 New Mexico State
ARKANSAS 41 Florida Intl

Three Short Topics That Will Make Up For Months Of Not Posting

2007-10-24T13:33:00.000-04:00

One Little, Two Little ...

As much as people want to analyze the Indians' collapse, the bottom line is that it comes down to Sabathia and Carmona. If you take the two worst starts of the regular season for both Sabathia and Carmona, they combined to throw 16.2 innings and give up 26 earned runs. In the Boston series, they combined for 16.1 innings and 23 earned.

So basically, their two best players performed as poorly as anyone could have reasonably expected. Simply put, no team will overcome that.

A Giant House of Cards

The latest SI.com power ranking has the Giants at #5. The ESPN equivalent has them at #4. Despite being Giants fan, I have to admit to having little faith in this team, and the rankings were a little bit shocking. So I went through and created the Thunderrankings for this week:

1. Pats
2. Colts
3. Cowboys
4. Packers
5. Jags
6. Chargers
7. Titans
8. Steelers
9. Giants
10. Redskins

The Giants have won their last 5 games. The last three of these were against the Jets, Falcons and 49ers, three of the six worst teams in football (sorry EJ). One was at home against an Eagles team that started the most overmatched offensive tackle that I have ever seen, which played directly into the Giants' biggest strength. So basically, they won 4 games that any middle-of-the-road team should win. I do admit that their Redskins victory on the road was a quality win though.

A further reason for having little faith is that we've been here before. This is the fourth straight season that the Giants have started 5-2 through 7 games. This kind of start hasn't exactly been a recipe for success. In two of those three years, the G-men failed to post a winning record.

This year's outlook is hazy. In the remaining 9, I think they have 2 definite wins (Miami in England and at Buffalo), 3 definite losses (Dallas, at Chicago - who I think will be back in form by then - and New England), and 4 games that could go either way (at Detroit, Minnesota, at Philadelphia, and Washington). All things equal, I think their most likely finish will be 4-5 over the last nine, putting them at 9-7, and likely in the playoffs.

Googling the Series

Slate recently ran an entertaining feature. You know that when you start typing a search into the Google toolbar, as you type, the most popular searches that start with what you have typed pop up on screen. (That just made no sense, but I think you know what I mean). It basically shows what people are searching for regarding certain topics. Slate's article was on presidential candidates (unfortunately, I can't find the link now). For example, if you type in "Rudy Giuliani," one of the ten options that comes up is "Rudy Giuliani cross dressing." Or if you try "Hillary Clinton," you are offered "Hillary Clinton cleavage." And let's face it -- none of us have been offered Hillary Clinton cleavage recently. So I decided to try this with the World Series. What do Googlers truly think of the participants? Here are some of the more interesting results:

Here's a newsflash: people on the internet are looking for hot women. Therefore, people like searching for the wives of : Theo Epstein, Jon Papelbon, David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Dustin Pedroia, Mike Lowell, Jason Varitek, Dice-K, Bobby Kielty, Matt Holliday, and Brad Hawpe. Its not just the married players. Popular girlfriends include those of Josh Beckett (and his exes), Kevin Youkilis, Troy Tulowitzki, and Ryan Spilborghs.
People are also interested in other people's salaries, including those of Terry Francona ($1.65 M), Theo Epstein (unclear, but in the $2 M range), David Ortiz ($13.3 M), J.D. Drew ($14 M), Dice-K ($6.3 M), Doug Mirabelli ($750,000), Bobby Kielty ($2.1 M) and Jeff Francis ($750,000).
Some players suck, despite the fact that they have made it to the World Series. Namely, J.D. Drew, Dice-K, and LaTroy Hawkins.
Finally, people are interested in the Jewishness of Theo Epstein, Kevin Youkilis and Ryan Spilborghs.

Snoop goes up, Thunder goes down

2007-10-23T10:53:00.000-04:00

It was a thrill of victory, agony of defeat kind of week in the Sportsmeat pool. Snoop posted a perfect week, going 4-0 in NFL picks and getting five points from his dog, Army, a 25-point underdog who lost by 24 points. Big Thunder, meanwhile, went 0-4 in NFL picks, meaning he loses five points for the week. The overall race also tightened, with Snoop and Budds closing in on long-time leader Maxipriest.

Total Points (points this week):

Maxipriest 67 points (9)
Snoop 62 (13)
Budds 60 (11)
Joe 52 (4)
EJ 47.5 (7)
Big Thunder 43 (-5)
Dave Law 38.5 (9)
Y.A. Shoes 23 (4)

College Football Report

2007-10-22T10:35:00.000-04:00

It’s been a weird season in college football, but I think we can finally divide teams into a few neat categories:

Ohio State, LSU, Boston College, Oklahoma and Oregon. If I’m any of these five teams, I feel to feel pretty confident of my chances to play in the BCS title game if I win out. Of course, B.C. isn’t that good, so they’ll probably suffer an upset or two somewhere along the way, but the other four all have a legit shot to win the remainder of their games.

West Virginia, Virginia Tech, USC, Florida. These teams have a shot but a lot has to go right for it to happen. USC still has to play Zona State, Cal, Oregon and UCLA, so they could add a lot of points down the stretch.

Arizona State, Kansas, South Florida. These are all good teams but really don’t have shot. South Florida could very well win out but it’s doubtful they’d move back into the Top 2, and Arizona State and Kansas will each lose at least two more games the rest of the way (though, of the two, Kansas has a better shot to emerge unscathed).

My Top 11 at this point in the season:
1. Ohio State – Not a great team, but have beaten the bad teams badly.
2. LSU – The best team in the country.
3. Oklahoma – This is where the rankings get tough, but I still think this is a very good team and will probably win out.
4. Oregon – At this stage, the Ducks appear to be the best team in the Pac-10. Game of the Week this Saturday vs. USC.
5. Boston College – Had a couple of nice early season-wins over Wake and Ga. Tech, but haven’t really been tested. Of course, they have only one ranked team on their schedule and that comes this Thursday.
6. Florida – Yes, the Gators have two losses, but they also have wins over Tennessee and Kentucky, while the other teams in the Nos. 5-11 category (save South Florida) have not a single win over a currently ranked team.
7. Arizona State – Nice wins over some good teams (Colorado, Oregon State, Washington) but has yet to play a ranked team. Next four games are Cal, Oregon, UCLA and USC. If the Devils go 2-2, I’d consider that a success. Go 3-1 and they’re a title contender.
8. South Florida – This is the hardest team to figure. Wins over Auburn and WVU are impressive, and a three-point loss at Rutgers is hardly embarrassing. But they’ve also been outgained routinely and have yet to look great.
9. West Virginia – No doubt a talented team, but best win so far is at Maryland.
10. Va. Tech – No impressive wins, but only loss is to LSU. The winner of this Thursday’s game against B.C. will likely take the mediocre ACC.
11. USC – This team has the talent to be ranked much higher, but they haven’t earned it yet and have generally played down to their competition. Plus, they lost to Stanford at home.

Stadium Blower, the Picks Edition

2007-10-18T15:42:00.000-04:00

As a Jets' fan (commonly known as a lowly Jets' fan), this week's picks present a conundrum -- what do I want to see more: the Dolphins going 0-16 or the Cheaters not going 16-0. Thankfully, I've been bailed out by a 16.5-point spread, which allows me to hedge my bets and take the Fish without rooting for them to win. As to the other picks, they're below:

Home team in caps:

New England 16.5 MIAMI
SEATTLE 9 St. Louis
Indy 3 JAX
DETROIT 2 Tampa

And the dogs:

WVU 24 Miss. St.
WISCONSIN 23 No. Illinois
GA TECH 26 Army
Oklahoma 29 IOWA STATE
Texas 24.5 BAYLOR

I'm going with the Dolphins, Rams, Colts and Bucs. And Army.
BT chooses to ride with the Dolphins, Rams, Jags and Bucs. And No. Illinois.
Budds, meantime, is casting his lot with Miami, Seattle, Indy and Detroit. And Army.

Nevada fades, BT rolls

2007-10-15T11:25:00.000-04:00

Updated Pride Point stats through this past weekend. Thunder won the week with 11 points, while Budds was denied a second straight 15-pointer when Nevada fell in 4-OT to Boise State.

Total Points (points this week):

Maxipriest 58 points (2)
Snoop 49 (9)
Budds 49 (9)
Big Thunder 48 (11)
Joe 48 (9)
EJ 40.5 (9)
Dave Law 29.5 (2)
Y.A. Shoes 19 (2)

From the absentee blogger

2007-10-12T13:21:00.000-04:00

As our dear friend in Seattle used to say, I'm just checking in to let you all know that I am "not on heroin." I also am not out of 'meat blogging ideas. I just haven't had time to write them up. But without unnecessary delay, zee picks:

The race to 0-16 continues...
CLEVELAND Miami +5
BALTIMORE St. Louis +9.5
SEATTLE New Orleans +6.5
And, in honor of the Knicks finding an excuse to throw more money into the bottomless pit that is Allan Houston:
JACKSONVILLE Houston +6.5

Big Thunder takes the Browns, Ravens, Seahawks, and Texans.
Budds goes with the Dolphins, Ravens, Saints, and Texans.
EJ will have good picks, I'm sure, but I don't yet know what they are.

As for the Mad Dogs...
OHIO STATE 30 Kent State
KANSAS 25 Baylor
HOUSTON 20.5 Rice
USC 21 Arizona
BOISE STATE 25.5 Nevada

Big Thunder likes Arizona, Budds is big on Nevada, and E.J. has a feeling that Rice will deliver the big 15.

Note to the Knicks: Charles Oakley is still available.

A Clean Sweep

2007-10-10T09:42:00.000-04:00

Maxipriest took the maximum number of points this past week (22) to extend his lead, and Big Thunder and Snoop added 20 points on a week where the popular dog, Notre Dame, won, and Stanford pulled one of the biggest upsets of an upset-filled season. Here are the updated stats with this week's points in parentheses:

Maxipriest 56 points (22)
Snoop 40 (20)
Budds 40 (16)
Joe 39 (18)
Big Thunder 37 (20)
EJ 31.5 (5.5)
Dave Law 27.5 (8)
Y.A. Shoes 17 (10)